小屁孩日記

上課睡著了

Friday 周五

Well, today wasn't exactly my best day ever.

喏，準確來說，今天不是我過得最好的一天。

I fell asleep in sixth period today, and this time I was out COLD—Mr.Watson had to shake me to get me to wake up. As a punishment, I had to sit in the front of the room.

今天上第六節課的時候我睡著了，這一次我睡得不省人事，直到沃森先生把我搖醒。我受到的處罰是坐在教室前面。

That was just fine with me, because at least up there I could sleep in peace.

那正合我意，至少我在那里能睡個安穩覺。

I just wish someone woke me up when sixth period ended, because I didn't wake up until the NEXT period started.

我真希望第六節課下課后有人叫醒我，因為我一直到下一節課上課的時候才醒過來。

Key points

period 課時 be out cold不省人事；睡得昏沉 punishment懲罰

The class I woke up in was taught by Mrs. Lowry. Mrs. Lowry gave me detention, and on Monday I'm gonna have to stay after school to serve it.

我醒過來的時候是羅瑞太太的課。她罰我留堂。下星期一放學后我還得待在學校。

Monday 周一

I didn't really know what to expect from detention, but when I walked into the room, the first thought I had was, “I don't belong in here with these future criminals.”

我真的不知道罰留堂是怎么樣的。走入那個房間，我第一個念頭是：“我跟這些未來罪犯不一樣，我不屬于這里。”

I took the only empty seat, which was right in front of this kid named Leon Ricket.

我坐在最后一張空椅子上，剛好坐在一個名叫里昂·瑞奇特的小孩前面。

Leon is not the brightest kid in our school. He was in detention because of what he did when a wasp landed on the window in homeroom.

里昂不是我們學校最聰明的孩子。他被罰留堂，是因為在看到有只馬蜂伏在教室的窗上之后，他做出的一個舉動。

Key points

detention放學后留校 criminal罪犯 brightest最聰明的

wasp馬蜂 homeroom學科教室

I found out that all you do in detention is to sit there and wait for it to be over. You're not allowed to read or do your homework or ANYTHING,which is a pretty dumb rule, considering that most of the kids in there could really use the extra study time.

我發現留堂的時候你要做的就是坐在那里，等待留堂時間結束。你不能讀書或者做作業，什么事都不能做。這真是一個無聊的規定。這里的小孩本來可以利用這額外的時間學習。

Mr. Ray was the moderator, and he more or less kept an eye on us. But every time Mr. Ray looked away, Leon would flick my ear or give me a Wet Willie or something like that. Eventually Leon got careless, and Mr.Ray caught Leon with his finger in my ear.

雷先生負責看管我們，他或多或少監視著我們的舉動。不過每次雷先生在看別的地方的時候，里昂就會彈一下我的耳朵，或者做舔濕手指插入我的耳朵之類的事。最后里昂一時大意，被雷先生看到他的手指插在我的耳朵里。

—知道了，雷先生。

Mr. Ray said if he caught Leon touching me again, he was gonna be in BIG trouble.

雷先生說要是他再看到里昂碰我一下，里昂的麻煩就大了。

Key points

dumb愚蠢的 moderator監管員 flick輕彈

give sb a Wet Willie指一種惡作劇，將手指弄濕再戳進別人耳朵里。

eventually最終 careless粗心大意的

—哎呦！

I knew Leon was just gonna go back to bugging me, so I decided to put a stop to it. As soon as Mr. Ray's back was turned, I slapped my hands together to make it seem like Leon hit me.

我知道里昂過不了一會又會來騷擾我，我打定主意要阻止他。雷先生的背一轉過去，我就輕拍雙掌一下，聽起來就像是里昂在打我。

Mr. Ray turned around and told Leon he was gonna have to stay another half hour, and that he had detention again TOMORROW.

雷先生轉過身來，對里昂宣布他要在這里多待半小時，而且明天他還得留堂。

On the way home, I was wondering if I made the smartest move back there at the school. I'm not exactly the fastest runner, and a half hour isn't that big of a head start.

回家路上，我一直在考慮我是不是做了有史以來在學校里最聰明的舉動。我壓根不是跑得最快的人，半小時的領先優勢并不大。

The end 完 結

Key points

bug使惱怒 slap拍 head start領先

本欄目選自《小屁孩日記5 午餐零食大盜》（中英雙語版），由新世紀出版社授權選載。