The Truth Behind Mother's Words

By Wang Guoliang

My mother lives alone in her hometown.She rarely calls me for fear of bothering me.She has no expectations beyond her son being free of trouble and working hard,but I phone her every night,as is my habit.

Every night,when she picks up the phone,she sounds cheerful,so I try to spend as much time chatting with her as I can.As a typical Chinese mother,she is inclined to hold back her unpleasant emotions,always saying that all is well and there’s nothing to worry about.Also,like many of the elder people of her generation,she is reluctant to voice her genuine feelings.When she misses me,she seldom expresses it explicitly.But,I can normally tell what she’s thinking.

Once,she told me over the phone that the hen she raised laid two baskets of eggs,all of which she’d saved for me since the eggs were too good to give away.I decoded her words almost immediately.Her message implied that it had been a long time since I’d come home and that she missed me terribly.When I figured that out,I made time to return home.

My mother,as expected,was very delighted.With a big smile shining on her face,she said,“I have been dreaming of you lately.”

“That means you miss me,” I said,“I miss you too.”

My mother always keeps unpleasant things from me,worrying that she might have a negative impact on me and overwhelm me with anxiety.It reminds me of a public service advertisement,in which a father receives a phone call from his daughter,who asks if everything is alright at home.The father replies in a buoyant tone,“There’s nothing to worry about.Your mother and I are doing fine.Oh,you are busy now.Go back to your work then.I am going to play chess with my friends now.”However,after hanging up,the father goes to the hospital to take care of his bed-ridden wife instead.This advertisement strikes a chord with viewers and generates in us a sense of sadness because most Chinese parents would do the same.Similarly,several times when I phoned,everything appeared safe and sound,but later,I found out that my mother had concealed the truth from me and had already tackled the matter in her own way,for fear of bringing me trouble and disturbing my work.

I will offer you a perfect example.My mother has been in the habit of playing cards with her friends every afternoon,to the point where this has become a fixture of her life.But the other day,when I asked whether or not she had won that afternoon,she hesitated and told me that she didn’t play cards that day; two of my aunts had come over and they had had a good chat together instead.

Almost at once,I realized that my mother was keeping something from me,since my aunts seldom paid a visit unless something had happened,so I asked if she felt under the weather.

She replied,“All is well and there’s nothing to worry about.By the way,I made a small jacket for my grandson.Come home and get it when you are available.”

Once again,with the telltale clue “when you are available,” I comprehended her underlying meaning and felt certain that she’d held something back.I phoned a relative of the same village at once and learned that my mother had fallen and injured her waist.My niece was taking care of her then,which explained why our relatives had dropped by recently.To think that she concealed such an unfortunate thing from me!

I asked for a leave and went home as soon as I could.When she caught sight of me,my mother asked in great surprise,“Why did you come back?”

“Because I deciphered your code.Please stop keeping things from me in the future,” I said casually but earnestly.

“Don’t worry.It’s no big deal.The doctor says that I will get well in a few days,” said my mother,smiling.

Almost all Chinese parents,the empty-nest elderly in particular,love their children profoundly and unconditionally,though it is normally expressed in a reserved way.They always put themselves in our shoes,swallowing as much yearning and bitterness as they can.As their children,the trick is coping with some ingenuity,carefully weighing our parents’words and finally deciphering the hidden meanings within.Only in this way can we have the best chance to strengthen and secure our bonds with our parents.