短文改錯(cuò)似捉妖 齊天大圣有奇招

段生榮

高考短文改錯(cuò)題旨在檢測考生在語篇中發(fā)現(xiàn)、判斷、糾正錯(cuò)誤的能力。該大題成了不少考生的“軟肋”。各類錯(cuò)誤像“妖魔”，不易辨別，但筆者總結(jié)了一套“孫悟空捉妖”式的改錯(cuò)方法。

作為孫悟空，首先要心里明白什么是“妖”，你才能火眼金睛，快速辨別。一篇改錯(cuò)，通常是“1增1刪8修改”共10個(gè)，組團(tuán)來襲的“妖魔鬼怪”，其本來面目無外乎三種：詞法、句法、行文邏輯等。且各路“妖孽”自有名頭，譬如：動(dòng)詞形式錯(cuò)誤（如時(shí)態(tài)前后不一致、并列不一致、時(shí)態(tài)與時(shí)間狀語的不一致、主謂不一致、非謂語動(dòng)詞的形式錯(cuò)誤），名詞的單復(fù)數(shù)，形容詞或副詞的句法功能錯(cuò)誤，冠詞和介詞的多用、少用或誤用，代詞和連詞的多用、少用和誤用，以及不定式符號(hào)to的多用或少用，比較等級(jí)，行文邏輯，語義重復(fù)等。

其次，身處妖境時(shí)，悟空要口中念念有詞：“動(dòng)詞形式名詞數(shù)，句法功能形和副，to和冠介需關(guān)注，代詞連詞細(xì)領(lǐng)悟，行文邏輯意重復(fù)。”口訣威力如咒語，令魑魅魍魎聞風(fēng)喪膽，魂飛魄散。

再次，欲鎮(zhèn)妖降魔，悟空不能赤手空拳，還須持有三件法器：照妖鏡、金箍棒和探照燈。通過眼觀六路，明察秋毫，那些明顯的一眼假的小妖即可浮出水面、現(xiàn)出原形，將其悉數(shù)剿盡（__）;如遇真容難辨、迷惑性強(qiáng)的假悟空、假行者、假大圣，以棒（＼）喝之！而對個(gè)別隱身藏匿玩失蹤（臥底或潛伏）者，探照燈（∧）伺候，或掘地三尺，或引妖出洞，使其無處遁形！

最后，讓我們以2019年全國卷中的短文改錯(cuò)為例，跟著悟空去捉妖，感受此法的奇妙之處。

全國Ⅰ卷

I became interesting① in playing football thanks to a small accident. One afternoon where② I was in primary school， I was walking by the school playground. Suddenly ∧③football fell just in front of me but④ almost hit me. I stopped the ball and kicked it hardly⑤ back to the playground. To everyones surprising⑥， the ball went into the net. All the football player⑦ on the playground cheered loudly， say⑧that I had a talent for football. From now⑨on， I started to play my⑩football with classmates after school. I am a good player now.

悟空按落云頭，逐句研讀，只見：

①“情感動(dòng)詞”在作祟。由其變來的形容詞指人，作表語時(shí)，用-ed式。

②李代桃僵。此處用關(guān)系副詞when引導(dǎo)定語從句，在從句中作時(shí)間狀語，相當(dāng)于in the afternoon。

③單數(shù)可數(shù)名詞football活像一個(gè)禿子， 孑然而立，莫非其帽冠a被妖風(fēng)刮走了？

④連接混亂。天外來球“飛落于我眼前”與“差點(diǎn)砸中我”之間為順承關(guān)系，何來轉(zhuǎn)折？

⑤驢唇不對馬嘴。hardly與hard， 兩者詞意、用法截然不同，相去甚遠(yuǎn)。

⑥固定搭配。To ones + 抽象名詞。

⑦孤軍作戰(zhàn)。綠茵場角逐喝彩，非一己之力所能及，更何況有All修飾！

⑧動(dòng)詞形式。表示主動(dòng)關(guān)系的saying為cheered的伴隨狀語。

⑨行文邏輯。此一時(shí)非彼一時(shí)。

⑩畫蛇添足。動(dòng)詞play后的冠詞或物主代詞，恰似一套西服，“打”球“玩”游戲，不穿西裝，亦不用冠詞或物主代詞。而“演奏”樂器時(shí)，則西裝革履，穿之用之。擾亂綱常，吃我一棒！

全國卷Ⅱ卷

Since I was a kid， Ive considered different job①I would like to do. First， I wanted to be a fireman， whose uniform looked so coolly②. Then， when I was in the five③ grade， I wanted to be a teacher because I liked my English teacher too④ much. When I studied chemistry ∧⑤high school， I reconsidered my goal or⑥ decided to be a doctor. They⑦ were two reasons for the decision. One was that I was amazing⑧ at the fact that a sick person could feel much more⑨ better after seeing a doctor. And the other is⑩ that I wanted to help people in need.

經(jīng)孫行者實(shí)地觀察，發(fā)現(xiàn)：

①消極怠“工”。既然是different的“工種”，后面的名詞須用復(fù)數(shù);

②固定句式。“主系表”結(jié)構(gòu)，副詞怎能做表語？

③張冠李戴。此處用序數(shù)詞fifth表示順序。

④言過其實(shí)。“喜歡老師”，用so/very即可。

⑤介詞缺失。玩燈下黑，致使“學(xué)習(xí)地點(diǎn)”無法鎖定。

⑥連接別扭。前后兩項(xiàng)為并列而非選擇關(guān)系。

⑦固定句式。“There be”句型。

⑧搖身一變。與卷I①同出一轍。

⑨重復(fù)比較。皆因much與more爭寵邀功所致。

⑩動(dòng)詞時(shí)態(tài)。應(yīng)與上文的was呼應(yīng)，才前后一致。

全國Ⅲ卷

Ive had many dreams since I was a child. Now my dream is to opens① a cafe. Though it may appear simple， it required② a lot of ideas and efforts. What I want is not just an ordinarily③ cafe but a very special one. I want my cafe ∧④have a special theme such as like⑤“Tang Dynasty”. In the cafe， customers will enjoy yourselves⑥ in the historical environment what⑦ is created for them. If I succeed in manage⑧ one， I will open more. I wish to have a chain of cafes in many different city⑨. Each of my cafes will have a different theme and an⑩unique style.

卻說大圣來到一處陰森恐怖的無名地，不禁警覺起來，但見：

①畸形怪獸。不定式短語to open a cafe在句中作表語。

②時(shí)態(tài)有誤。應(yīng)與前文的時(shí)間狀語Now相吻合。

③越俎代庖。對形容詞和副詞的句法作用含混不清，做定語要用形容詞。

④固定搭配。“want sth/sb to do”固定搭配，不定式作賓補(bǔ)。

⑤詞義重疊。such as 和like均可表示“比如，像”“諸如”之意，此謂“障眼法”。

⑥指代錯(cuò)誤。泛指“顧客們開心”，用第三人稱復(fù)數(shù)反身代詞themselves。

⑦李代桃僵。此處關(guān)系代詞which/that在定語從句中作主語，指代environment。

⑧動(dòng)詞形式。 succeed （in） 后接 -ing式，介詞賓語。

⑨冤家路窄。與卷Ⅱ①類似，（many） different后名詞用復(fù)數(shù)形式;

⑩低級(jí)錯(cuò)誤。不定冠詞an只用于讀音以元音音素打頭的名詞或形容詞前， 輔音音素前宜用a。好大圣，痛捉眾妖，即駕云遠(yuǎn)去……

綜觀全局，高考短文改錯(cuò)并非奧妙無窮、深不可測的“黑洞”。只要我們勤于思考，改錯(cuò)得法，練就一身火眼金睛的真功夫，巧用此招，就會(huì)屢試不爽。

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青