YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS?SHE’S GOT ANSWERS(BUT YOU PROBABLY WON’T LIKE THEM)

I’m so fed up with 2020! Any suggestions for coping?

New Graduate George

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! As a 過來人 (guòláirén,experienced person) who is used to 大風大浪 (dàfēng dàlàng, “strong wind and big waves,” serious challenges),this year has been child’s play. What sort of crisis did you experience anyway? You still 衣來伸手，飯來張口 (yī lái shēn shǒu, fàn lái zhāng kǒu, have clothes and food handed to you)! All you did was stay at home and browse TikTok,not much different from a 假期 (jiàqī, vacation). Your classes were cancelled? I couldn’t go to university, period,because they were all closed when I was young! 我吃過的鹽比你吃過的飯還多 (Wǒ chīguo de yán bǐ nǐ chīguo de fàn hái duō, “I’ve eaten more salt than you’ve eaten rice,”experienced more hardship than you know)! Well, mostly because I hoarded too much salt during the SARS outbreak.Remember, 兵來將擋，水來土掩 (bīng lái jiàng dǎng, shuǐ lái tǔ yǎn, “fight soldiers with arms, fight water with earth,”adopt flexible solutions to different problems). Life will only get worse if you keep on whining!

Everybody seems to be getting Botox nowadays, or even pIastic surgery. It’s not cheap, but shouId I try? I think it wiII make me feeI more confident.

Amandababy

You know what they say: 沒有丑女人，只有懶女人(méiyǒu chǒu nǚrén, zhǐyǒu lǎn nǚrén, there are no ugly women, just lazy ones), or maybe 窮女人(qióng nǚrén,poor women). With what little money you make, you are not getting anywhere, so why not spend it on your looks as a 投資 (tóuzī, investment) for getting a rich guy? Or that high-paying job that requires applicants to be 形象好氣質佳 (xíngxiàng hǎo qìzhì jiā, good looking and elegant). They also say, spend money on your appearance when you are young, because when you are old and rich, no one will look at you…I’ve heard all the bullshit! The truth is, 有錢人的快樂，你根本想象不到 (Yǒuqiánrén de kuàilè, nǐ gēnběn xiǎngxiàng búdào, You have no idea how happy rich people can be)! Use your head. Who cares about what others think when you have your own money?

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