雅思寫作中的句子基本功（二）：代詞的使用

在雅思作文評分標準中，有一條涉及“銜接和連貫”，即要求作文中的句子之間需要有緊密的聯系，不能上句不接下句。實現句子之間的銜接，手段其實很多，比如使用連詞（and、but、because等），也可以重復前一句中的名詞。今天老雅想和大家分享的是，如何使用代詞來實現句子之間的銜接，更重要的是，老雅將從學生實際作文中提取例句，講解中國學生在使用代詞時經常出現的錯誤，幫助大家避免類似錯誤。

英語和漢語在代詞使用方面存在較大差異。首先，英語使用代詞的頻率明顯高于漢語，而漢語中省略代詞和名詞重復的頻率則遠遠超過英語。漢語主張少用代詞，對待代詞的原則是：為了明白，就名詞重復;為了簡潔，名詞代詞都不用。英語則要求避免同一名詞在相近的語言環境中重復使用。漢英的這一差異，加之英語代詞系統的獨特性，使中國學生在使用英語代詞時容易出現偏誤。以下老雅將通過例句一一分析，各位同學看自己寫作中是否存在相似的問題。

問題1：該用代詞的時候用名詞重復。

如前所述，漢語傾向于重復名詞以使上下文連貫，而英語則傾向于使用代詞。這種差異往往造成中國學生在英語作文中大量重復名詞，而不喜歡用代詞，使作文讀起來既不流暢也不精練。

【例1】 The man is not a young man， but the man is not old. He is about forty-four or forty-five years old. The man is a good-looking man， tall， handsome， rather thin， with dark-brown hair just beginning to go gray. The man is always well-dressed， but quiet in good taste.

【例2】 Turkey had the highest proportion of national consumer expenditure in food， drinks and tobacco， at 32.14%， which was approximately twice as much as that of Italy. Ireland had the second highest proportion of national consumer expenditure in food， drinks， and tobacco. It was 28.91%.

【例3】 Self-confidence is very important for us. With self-confidence we can do whatever we want to; without self-confidence， we can achieve nothing.

例1中，the man被毫無必要地重復了四次，雖然在漢語中這樣重復并無違和感。例2中出現的重復更是極端：在描寫土耳其和愛爾蘭兩個國家在食物、飲料和香煙方面的花銷時，文字上居然完全重復，全然沒有使用代詞的概念。可作如下修改：... Ireland had the second highest proportion in this sector / field / expenditure， at 28.91%. 例3沒有明顯語法錯誤，但讀起來頗似漢語表達：“自信對我們很重要。有了自信我們百事可為;沒有自信則一事無成。” 很明顯，學生受到了來自漢語結構的消極影響。這句可改為： Self-confidence is very important for us. With it we can do whatever we want to， or else we can achieve nothing.

問題2：該用代詞的時候不用代詞。

【例4】 People should not spend too much time on hobbies in order to avoid disturbing normal work and study.

【例5】 Many international meetings on environment protection are held， at which scientists from different countries can exchange ideas and learn from each other.

例4句意是“人們不應該在業余愛好上花太多時間， 以免影響正常工作和學習”，例5句意是“在召開的許多有關環境保護的國際會議上，世界各地的科學家們可以交流思想和互相學習”。漢語中不使用物主代詞不會引起誤解，讀起來也非常自然。然而，在英語中則應該加上物主代詞，所以兩句中斜體部分最好改為：their normal work and study（例4）， exchange their ideas （例5）。

問題3：隨意轉換所使用的代詞，前后不能保持一致。

【例6】 So long as you have the Internet access， anyone can receive distance education.

【例7】 Before leaving for foreign countries， it is necessary for us to know about the local culture and language since this can help you avoid some cultural misunderstanding.

代詞使用時要保持前后一致，一般不隨意轉換，否則就會造成所指不明的錯誤。這種錯誤在中國學生的英語作文中相當普遍，尤其是在不定代詞的使用方面。其根源在于漢語的不定代詞使用是可以隨意轉換的（比如“我們大家都要努力工作，要不然你就會丟工作”），而英語一般情況下需要保持一致（We must work hard， or we will lose our job）。例6中，從句中用you，主句中用anyone，明顯不一致，可將anyone改為you;例7中，前面用us，后面用you，將you改為us即可實現一致性。

問題4：代詞與其照應的內容在性、數、格上不一致。

【例8】 We all know that everyone is forever a child in their parents eyes.

【例9】 If a friend of you asks you to do a wrong thing for him， your best answer is of course “No！”

【例10】 The old have their lifetime knowledge， but many young people regard it as a long-term burden and consider they are of little value to our life.

人稱代詞、反身代詞以及相應的限定代詞必須和它們指代的對象保持性、數、格上的一致。以第三人稱單數為例，若指代對象為陽性名詞，代詞通常用he、him、himself、his;若指代對象為陰性名詞，代詞通常用she、her、herself、hers;若指代對象是表示無生命事物的名詞， 代詞常用it、its、itself。代詞的格分為三種，分別是主格、賓格和所有格，各有其相應的形式，都不能犯錯。例8中，everyone是單數，后面用their來指代就違反了數的一致性，應為his/her;例9中，a friend of you應該是a friend of yours;例10的“many young people regard it ... and consider they ... to our life”中，it明顯指代前文中的knowledge，是不可數名詞，但后面又用了復數形式they，這也違反了數的一致性，可改為it。此外，本句主語是young people，但后面卻用our life來指代，這就是上文說到的“隨意轉換代詞”，改為their life就一致了。

問題5：代詞使用引發流水句。

【例11】 Students are always faced with great pressure from examination， some of them even choose suicide.

【例12】 Students with a part-time job have chances to contact different people， this will make them more experienced to deal with interpersonal relationships in future.

【例13】 Students spend too much time preparing for examination， they always ignore outdoor activities and exercises.

流水句是中國學生最容易犯的句法錯誤之一，代詞使用往往引發這一錯誤，其根源依然是漢語的負遷移：在漢語句子中，代詞引導的句子和主句無縫銜接，直接用逗號相連，但英語中并不允許這種用法。例11中，前句主語為students，后句主語為some of them，這是兩個不同主語引起的句子，無法直接用逗號連接，可在兩個句子中間加連接詞and，或者將第二句變為從屬句，比如將them改為whom;與此相同，例12也可用and連接，或將this改為which;例13可加and或so來連接。

最后，老雅從其創作的雅思真題范文中提取5個含有代詞使用的句子，讀者可以結合以上講解，看老雅如何使用代詞。

1. In modern society， young people prefer to stay apart from their parents and live alone in big cities. Further， they have a tendency of postponing their parenthood until late 30s or even early 40s.

2. We all need news for information and knowledge， and in order for news to be reliable rather than misleading， a journalist must have a willing heart to pursue truth， a fair judgment and most important of all， a strong ability to express his/her mind with words.

3. When a historic structure has become a threat to society， for example， having it removed can actually add more value to the area around it.

4. The second reason is that by doing different jobs or careers， young people can increase their work experience and eventually become more versatile. This may give them a competitive edge， especially in todays job market where an all-round employee is always preferred.

5. A friend of mine got married after having been single and living by himself for many years， only to find that he was always quarreling with his wife because， in his words， she was constantly picking faults with his habits and lifestyle.? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? □

[與老雅繼續交流，請加微信公眾號ieltswriting4u（唐老雅英語寫作工作室）]

1唐偉勝，博士生導師，江西師范大學首席教授，英美文學學者。