English Jokes 英語笑話

[美]Marshall’s Talent Education, LLC. 龔珍妮 編譯

1. Can’t

不會(huì)

An English teacher isgiving a lessontohis students. He asks his students a question, “What isthe most commonwordused bystudents in a classroom?”

Thewhole classis silent. Itseemsthat none of them can answer such a difficult question.Suddenlya boy student stands up and says, “Can’t, Sir!”

“Smart! You are right. Please sit down,” says the teacher.

一位英語老師正在給他的學(xué)生上課。他問學(xué)生一個(gè)問題：“學(xué)生在教室里最常用的詞是什么？”

全班學(xué)生都安靜了下來。看來，他們誰也回答不了這么難的一個(gè)問題。突然，一個(gè)男生站了起來，說道：“不會(huì)，先生！”

“聰明！你回答正確。請(qǐng)坐下。”老師說。

Notes:

give a lesson to 給……上課

the most common 最常見的

commonadj. 常見的

used by … 被……使用

wholeadj.全部的；整個(gè)的

whole class 全班

seemv.似乎；看上去

suddenlyadv.突然

2. Take the “s” out from it

把" s "從里面取出來！

A maths teacher is giving a lesson to her students. She asks, “How can you make the number seven to an even number?”

Wood stands up and says loudly, “Just take the ‘s’ out from it!”

At this, all the others laugh and laugh.

一位數(shù)學(xué)老師正在給她的學(xué)生上課。她問：“你怎么才能把數(shù)字‘7’變成一個(gè)偶數(shù)呢？”

伍德站起來，大聲說道：“從‘7’里面取出‘s’！”

聽到這里，其他人都哈哈大笑。

Notes:

英語中的“奇數(shù)”叫作“odd number”，“偶數(shù)”則叫作“even number”。數(shù)字“7”是一個(gè)奇數(shù)，其單詞拼寫是“seven”。而英語中的“偶數(shù)”的單詞拼寫則是“even”。因此，把“seven”中的字母“s”取出來，單詞“seven”就變成了“even”（偶數(shù)）了。

3. Will Bill and Mike study?

比爾和邁克將會(huì)學(xué)習(xí)嗎？

Bill and Mike are brothers.Neither ofthem like studying. They like playing.

One Saturday afternoon, Bill asks Mike, “What will we do this afternoon, Mike?”

Mike says, “I have no idea. But we canflipacoin.”

Bill doesn’t understand Mike. Then he asks, “Flip a coin? What do you mean?”

Mike says, “Oh, it’s so easy. If it comesheads, we willgo for movies. If it comestails, we willplay cards. If it stands on itsedge,we will study!”

Bill laughs andcries, “Good idea!”

比爾和邁克是兄弟。他們兩個(gè)都不喜歡學(xué)習(xí)。他們喜歡玩。

一個(gè)星期六的下午，比爾問邁克：“邁克，今天下午我們做什么？”

邁克說：“我不知道。但我們可拋硬幣。”

比爾不理解邁克。然后,他問道：“拋硬幣？什么意思？”

邁克說：“哦，太簡單了。如果硬幣是正面朝上，我們就去看電影。如果硬幣是反面朝上，我們就玩撲克牌。如果它站立在它的邊緣上，我們就學(xué)習(xí)！”

比爾笑著大叫道：“好主意！”

Notes:

neitherpron.兩者中一個(gè)都不

neither of …兩者中任意一個(gè)都不

flipv.投擲

coinn.硬幣

headn.硬幣的正面

go for movies 去看電影

tailn. 硬幣的背面

play cards玩撲克

edgen. 邊緣

cryv. 大聲喊叫

4. It’s a so easy question!

這是一個(gè)很簡單的問題！

John and Sam are twin brothers. Johndoes well inthesubjectHistory. Samisnotgood atthe subject History, but he is notsilly.

In a History class, the teacher asks his students to tell theimportanceof the year 1809.

John stands up and says, “Abraham Lincoln was born.”

The teacher is happy. He says, “Yes. You’re right. Please sit down.”

Then the teacheragainasks the students to tell the importance of another year 1819.

Sam suddenly says, “It’s a soeasyquestion!”Hearingthis, the teacher asks Sam to stand up and asks, “You know the answer?”

Sam says, “Yes. So easy.”

The teacher asks, “What is your answer, then?”

Sam answers loudly, “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old!”

At this, the teacher and all the other students laugh and laugh.

約翰和薩姆是孿生兄弟。約翰在歷史這門學(xué)科上學(xué)得很好，而薩姆不擅長歷史學(xué)科，但他并不傻。

在一節(jié)歷史課上，老師讓他的學(xué)生講述1809 年的重要性。

“亞伯拉罕·林肯出生了。”約翰說。

老師很高興。他說：“是的。你說得對(duì)。請(qǐng)坐下。”

然后，老師再次要求學(xué)生們講述另一年——1819 年的重要性。

薩姆突然說：“這是一個(gè)很簡單的問題！”聽到這里，老師叫薩姆站起來，問道：“你知道答案嗎？”

薩姆說：“是的。太簡單了。”

老師問：“那你的答案是什么？”

薩姆大聲回答道：“亞伯拉罕·林肯十歲了！”

聽到這話，老師和其他同學(xué)都笑個(gè)不停。

Notes:

do well in在……方面很好

subjectn. 學(xué)科

be good at擅長……

sillyadj.傻乎乎的

importancen. 重要性

againadv. 再一次；又

easyadj.容易的

hearv. 聽見；聽到

5. My name

我的名字

Almostall thevillagersin that village think that Jack is a very smart boy, as he can answer any question you ask. However, David does not believe so, and he wants tomake sure whetherJack is really smart or not.

One day, David meets Jack on a bridge over a small river in the village. David says to Jack, “Jack, people say that you’re very smart,because you can answer all the questions. Is thattrue?”

Jack looks at David fora whileand says, “Of course, it’s true.Don’t you believe me?”

David says, “No, I don’t think you can answer all the questions asked by others.”

Jack smiles and says, “Well, you can ask me ahardquestion now.”

David thinks fora moment. Then he asks Jack, “Jack, what isowned byyou but mostlyused byothers?”

Jack answersimmediately,“My name!”

那個(gè)村子里幾乎所有的村民都認(rèn)為杰克是個(gè)非常聰明的男孩，因?yàn)樗芑卮鹉銌柕娜魏螁栴}。然而，大衛(wèi)并不這么認(rèn)為，他想確定杰克是否真的聰明。

一天，大衛(wèi)在村子里小河上的一座橋上遇到了杰克。大衛(wèi)對(duì)杰克說：“杰克，人們說你很聰明，因?yàn)槟隳芑卮鹚械膯栴}。是真的嗎？”

杰克看著大衛(wèi)好一會(huì)兒，說：“當(dāng)然，這是真的。你不相信我嗎？”

大衛(wèi)說：“是的，我認(rèn)為你不能回答別人所有的問題。”

杰克微笑著說：“好吧，你現(xiàn)在可以問我一個(gè)難題了。”

大衛(wèi)想了一會(huì)兒。然后，他問杰克：“杰克，什么東西是你所擁有的，卻是別人用得多？”

杰克立刻回答道：“我的名字！”

Notes:

almostadv.幾乎

villagern.村民

make sure確信

whetherconj.是否

trueadj.真實(shí)的

a while一會(huì)兒

hardadj. 難的

a moment 片刻

owned by …為……所擁有

used by … 為……所用

immediatelyadv. 立刻；馬上