Signs of Character1性格特征

Wellington2 is said to have chosen his officers by their noses and chins. The standard for them in noses must have been rather high， to judge by the portraits of the Duke， but no doubt he made allowances. Anyhow， by this method he got the men he wanted. Some people， however， may think that he would have done better to have let the mouth be the deciding test. The lines of one’s nose are more or less arranged for one at birth. A baby， born with a snub nose， would feel it hard that the decision that he would be no use to Wellington should be come to so early. And even if he arrived in the world with a Roman nose， he might smash it up in childhood， and with it his chances of military fame. This， I think you will agree with me， would be unfair.

據說威靈頓公爵依據人們鼻子和下巴的形狀選拔軍官。單以公爵的畫像而論，他為候選者的鼻子制定的標準想必很高，不過他無疑有所變通。不管怎樣，他畢竟以這種方式找到了所需之人。然而，有些人可能認為，倘若他把嘴巴當作主要的檢驗依據，收效當會更佳。一個人的鼻子輪廓，或多或少在他出生之際便已注定。一個天生鼻塌的幼童，會覺得命運實在殘酷，這么早就注定他將對威靈頓毫無用處。即便他帶著一個羅馬鼻來到世間，也沒準會在兒時把它跌個粉碎，他揚名軍界的希望亦隨之破滅。這很不公平，你也許和我有此同感。

Now the mouth is much more likely to be a true index of character. A man may clench his teeth firmly or smile disdainfully or sneer， or do a hundred things which will be reflected in his mouth rather than in his nose or chin. It is through the mouth and eyes that all emotions are expressed， and in the mouth and eyes therefore that one would expect the marks of such emotions to be left. I did read once of a man whose nose quivered with rage， but it is not usual; I never heard of anyone whose chin did anything. It would be absurd to expect it to.

嘴巴遠比鼻子更有可能是真正的性格表征。一個人可以咬緊牙關，或笑容輕蔑，或是冷嘲，抑或做出一百種表情，這都反映在嘴巴上，而不是鼻子或下巴上。所有的情緒都是通過眼睛和嘴巴加以體現，于是我們指望他的眼睛和嘴巴留下這些情緒的痕跡。我確曾讀到某人氣得鼻子顫抖，但這并非常見；我從未聽說誰的下巴頦兒流露任何情緒特點。期待下巴做到這一點是滑稽可笑的。

But there arises now the objection that a man may conceal his mouth， and by that his character， with a moustache. There arises， too， the objection that a person whom you thought was a fool， because he always went about with his mouth open， may only have had a bad cold in the head. In fact the difficulties of telling anyone’s character by his face seem more insuperable3 every moment. How， then， are we to tell whether we may safely trust a man with our daughter， or our favourite golf club， or whatever we hold most dear？

但是如今有人提出異議，聲稱一個人借助一部胡須即可遮蔽他的嘴巴，并進而掩蓋其性格。同時出現了另一種不同的看法，認為你瞧見某人走到哪里都是張著嘴巴，覺得他傻乎乎的，其實他大概只是頭痛傷風而已。的確，看臉識人之難，于今似乎日甚一日。那么，我們怎樣才能判斷一個人是否值得我們放心地將女兒，或心愛的高爾夫球桿，抑或我們最珍視的任何事物托付于他呢？

Fortunately a benefactor has stepped in at the right moment with an article on the cigar-manner. Our gentleman has made the discovery that you can tell a man’s nature by the way he handles his cigar， and he gives a dozen illustrations to explain his theory. True， this leaves out of account4 the men who don’t smoke cigars; although， of course， you might sum them all up， with a certain amount of justification， as foolish. But you do get， I am assured， a very important index to the characters of smokers—which is as much as to say of the people who really count.

幸好一位救星及時出現，獻上一篇有關吸雪茄姿勢的文章。我們這位先生發現，你可以憑借一個人手執雪茄的姿勢說出他的本性，并且提供了十余幅插圖為自己的觀點佐證。是的，他沒把不抽雪茄的人考慮在內；誠然，你可以憑一定的理由將它們統統歸為無稽之談。但我確信，你無疑獲得了一份非常重要的吸煙者性格指南，也就是那些大人物們的性格指南。

I am not going to reveal all the clues to you now; partly because I might be infringing the copyright of another， partly because I have forgotten them. But the idea roughly is that if a man holds his cigar between his finger and thumb， he is courageous and kind to animals （or whatever it may be）， and if he holds it between his first and second fingers he is impulsive but yet considerate to old ladies， and if he holds it upside down he is （besides being an ass） jealous and self-assertive， and if he sticks a knife into the stump so as to smoke it to the very end he is—yes， you have guessed this one—he is mean. You see what a useful thing a cigar may be.

我眼下無意向你透露所有的線索；半是因為這有侵犯他人版權之嫌，半是因為具體內容我已忘卻。但文章的大意是，如果某人用食指和拇指捏住雪茄，那他天性勇敢且善待動物（或無論什么東西）；如果雪茄給他夾在食指和中指之間，那他行事沖動，卻能體貼年長女士；如果他頭尾顛倒地拿著雪茄，那他（愚蠢而外）嫉妒成性，慣于孤行專斷；如果他用小刀插進煙頭，以便拿著一直吸到最后一點，那他——對嘍，這個你已經猜出來了——為人吝嗇。你瞧雪茄這東西可真管用。

I think now I am sorry that this theory has been given to the world. Yes; I blame myself for giving it further publicity. In the old days when we bought—or better， had presented to us—a cigar， a doubt as to whether it was a good one was all that troubled us. We bit one end and lit the other， and， the doubt having been solved， proceeded tranquilly to enjoy ourselves. But all this will be changed now. We shall be horribly self-conscious. When we take our cigars from our mouths we shall feel our neighbours’ eyes rooted upon our hands， the while we try to remember which of all the possible manipulations is the one which represents virtue at its highest power. Speaking for myself， I hold my cigar in a dozen different ways during an evening （though never， of course， on the end of a knife）， and I tremble to think of the diabolically5 composite6 nature which the modern Wellingtons of the table must attribute to me. In future I see that I must concentrate on one method. If only I could remember the one which shows me at my best！

我此刻覺得我為這種觀點播行于世而遺憾。是的；我為進一步張揚這種觀點而自責。很久以前，每當我們買一根——或者有幸，承蒙人家敬我們一根雪茄時，僅僅琢磨它味道可好，并無其他疑惑。我們將雪茄的一端銜在口中，點燃另一端，疑惑即可消除，便開始氣定神閑地品味起來。但如今這一切都將改變。我們將自我反思到可怕的地步。我們從口中取出雪茄時，會覺得身邊人的眼睛直勾勾盯著我們的雙手，這一刻我們竭力回想，在所有可以故意做作的姿態中，哪一種能充分體現最高尚的品德。以我而論，我一晚上用了十來種方式手執雪茄（雖說，當然，從來沒有把它插在刀尖上），戰栗不安地想著晚餐桌上的當代威靈頓們會認定我具有怎樣歹毒而復雜的人格。我看將來我得留神認準一種姿勢。但愿我能記住展現我最好一面的那種！

But the tobacco test is not the only one. We may be told by the way we close our hands; the tilt of a walking-stick may unmask us. It is useless to model ourselves now on the strong， silent man of the novel whose face is a shutter to hide his emotions. This is a pity; yes， I am convinced now that it is a pity. If my secret fault is cheque-forging I do not want it to be revealed to the world by the angle of my hat; still less do I wish to discover it in a friend whom I like or whom I can beat at billiards.

但檢驗手段又何止看煙識人一種。合攏雙手的姿勢可能泄露我們的秉性；一根手杖的傾斜角度也可能讓我們原形畢露。如今我們再去效仿小說中那號堅強、沉默的人物，面無表情地掩蓋內心的情緒也是枉然。這是一樁憾事；沒錯，現在我確信這是一樁憾事。如果我的隱秘的過失是偽造支票，我可不愿僅因自個兒頭上帽子的斜度，就令其為人所知；我更不樂意從一個我喜歡的朋友，或臺球桌上敗于我手的朋友身上看出這一點。

How dull the world would be if we knew every acquaintance inside out as soon as we had offered him our cigar-case. Suppose—I put an extreme case to you—suppose a pleasant young bachelor who admired our bowling showed himself by his shoe laces to be a secret wife-beater. What could we do？ Cut7 so unique a friend？ Ah no. Let us pray to remain in ignorance of the faults of those we like. Let us pray it as sincerely as we pray that they shall remain in ignorance of ours.

倘若我們剛向每一個熟人遞出雪茄盒之際，便已徹底看透他的為人，這世界該是何等無聊啊。假如——且容我舉一個極端的例子——假如一個討人喜歡的年輕單身漢，盛贊我們的保齡球技，偏偏因為鞋帶的系法而暴露其毆打妻子的私密惡行，我們又該怎么辦呢？與如此難得的朋友絕交嗎？哦不。但愿我們對那些自己喜歡的人們的過失全然無知。讓我們為此誠心祈禱，亦如但愿他們對我們的過失絕不知情。

（譯者單位：揚州大學）

1選自英國作家艾倫·亞歷山大·米爾恩（1882—1956）的散文集《無關緊要》（Not That It Matters）。" 2威靈頓公爵（1769—1852），英國陸軍元帥、首相，以在滑鐵盧戰役中指揮英、普聯軍擊敗拿破侖而聞名。

3 insuperable不能克服的。

4 out of account未加考慮。

5 diabolically惡毒地。" 6 composite復合的，綜合的。

7 cut與……斷絕關系。