The Core Beliefs of Confidence自信的核心信念

Why do people universally crave confidence， arguably even more than they desire money， mates， and material success？ Because， confidence is one of perhaps just two experiences in life （love being the second） that change all the other things in life for the better. People with greater confidence are rated as more attractive， adventurous and outgoing， and physically and emotionally healthier. They enjoy more and higher-quality relationships. Confidence even makes people more resilient to stress. The more intriguing question is why everyone doesn’t already have more confidence. You’re probably underachieving your confidence potential not because of a lack of support or external success but because of accidental ways you’ve learned and been taught to think. If that explanation strikes you as too simple to be true， consider the following：

為什么人們普遍渴望自信，甚至超過(guò)了對(duì)金錢、伴侶和物質(zhì)成功的渴求？這是因?yàn)?，自信或許是人生中僅有的兩種（另一種是愛）會(huì)令生活處處向好的體驗(yàn)之一。較為自信的人往往被認(rèn)為更具魅力、更勇于冒險(xiǎn)、更外向開朗，身心也更健康。他們擁有更多高質(zhì)量的社交關(guān)系。自信甚至能讓人在面對(duì)壓力時(shí)更具韌性。比較耐人尋味的問(wèn)題是，為何并非人人都自然而然擁有充足的自信？你之所以未能充分發(fā)揮自信潛能，或許并非因?yàn)槿狈χС只蛲庠诔删?，而是由于你無(wú)意中習(xí)得并被灌輸?shù)乃季S方式。如果你覺(jué)得這個(gè)解釋過(guò)于簡(jiǎn)單，讓人難以置信，不妨思考以下幾點(diǎn)：

· Self-limiting beliefs can make a rich person feel poor;

·自我設(shè)限的信念能讓富人感到貧窮；

· A strong person feel weak;

·讓強(qiáng)者感到脆弱；

· A beloved person feel lonely.

·讓被愛者感到孤獨(dú)。

It turns out—left unrecognized and unaddressed—the same types of self-limiting belief patterns can also confine a potentially confident and self-actualized person to a lifetime of insecurity.

事實(shí)證明，如果這種自我設(shè)限的信念模式未被察覺(jué)并妥善解決，那么一個(gè)本可以自信滿滿、實(shí)現(xiàn)自我價(jià)值的人很可能終生都困于不安之中。

Why confidence is so elusive.

自信為何如此難以企及。

If confidence were a metaphorical wise man living atop a Himalayan mountain， we could say that most people lack confidence because they have been given bad directions. Even the most precious and sought-after treasure will likely elude us without an accurate map. What are the common “directions” we are given to climb the confidence mountain？ We are taught that confidence comes from a） having successful experiences; b） achieving degrees， promotions， and related milestones; c） from obtaining experience at the thing about which we want to be confident; and from d） support and encouragement from others.

倘若將自信比作一位住在喜馬拉雅之巔的智者，那么我們可以說(shuō)，大多數(shù)人缺乏自信是因?yàn)槁犘帕隋e(cuò)誤的指引。即便是最珍貴、最令人向往的寶藏，如果沒(méi)有精準(zhǔn)的地圖，我們也終將與其失之交臂。我們攀登自信之峰的常見“指引”是什么？我們被教導(dǎo)，自信來(lái)自于以下幾個(gè)方面：a）擁有成功的經(jīng)歷；b）獲得學(xué)位、晉升和與之相關(guān)的里程碑式成就；c）在我們想要獲得自信的領(lǐng)域積累經(jīng)驗(yàn)；d）來(lái)自他人的支持與鼓勵(lì)。

None of these are required for you to become more confident. Yet these pervasive confidence myths are told to us so many times by so many authority figures that they appear unassailable. Worse， these myths also convince us that there must be something fundamentally wrong with ourselves because even when we “win”， earn credentials and awards， invest months or years of work， and receive positive feedback from others， it rarely translates into confidence. Despite ticking all the confidence boxes， we too often instead manage to still feel like a fraud， whose disguise simply hasn’t yet been revealed. If you’ve followed the confidence formula and haven’t obtained the result， perhaps the problem is with the formula， not with you.

以上這些都不是建立自信的必要條件，但這些廣為流傳的自信迷思由權(quán)威人士反復(fù)向我們講述，顯得不容置疑。更糟糕的是，這些迷思讓我們深陷自我懷疑，因?yàn)榧词刮覀儭叭佟?、獲得了證書和獎(jiǎng)項(xiàng)、付出了數(shù)月甚至數(shù)年努力、得到了他人積極反饋，卻很少能轉(zhuǎn)化為自信。即便具備了所有自信條件，我們?nèi)猿３ＳX(jué)得自己像個(gè)騙子，只是尚未被揭穿罷了。如果遵循自信公式而未得到預(yù)期結(jié)果，那么問(wèn)題或許在于公式本身，而非你。

This phenomenon—people lacking confidence despite an abundance of external indicators of skill， success， and support—is so common that it has a name： Imposter syndrome. It affects perhaps 50 percent of students in medical school and doctoral programs and shows us that the conventional thinking about confidence is not only flawed when it comes to improving confidence， it may even lead to lower confidence in a vicious cycle of achievement striving to mask growing insecurity. If everything you’ve probably been taught about confidence is untrue， what really works？

盡管技能、成就和他人支持等多項(xiàng)外在指標(biāo)表現(xiàn)出色，人們?nèi)匀鄙僮孕?。這一現(xiàn)象太過(guò)普遍，以至于有了一個(gè)專屬名稱：冒充者綜合征。約一半的醫(yī)學(xué)生和博士生受其困擾。這表明，傳統(tǒng)自信觀不僅存在缺陷，甚至可能形成追逐成就掩飾不安的惡性循環(huán)，導(dǎo)致更不自信。如果你之前所學(xué)的關(guān)于自信的一切都是錯(cuò)誤的，那么到底什么方法才是真正有效的呢？

What is confidence and how do you get it？

什么是自信，我們又該如何獲得？

The path to confidence comes with good news： you don’t have to be wealthy， brilliant， successful， or even experienced to get there. You can be confident right from the start， while still lacking any credentials， trophies， or fanfare1. You just have to change how you think. By this， I don’t mean changing how you think on the superficial， conscious level. Confidence won’t come from affirmations2， gratitude journals， or even meditation. The process of building confidence instead results from changing your thinking at the level of your core beliefs. By comparison， if you wanted to produce a lasting change in your behavior， it is critical to align your new behavior with your core values and goals. Without this connection to core values， behavior change lasts only as long as your willpower. The same is true for confidence.

通往自信之路上的好消息是：你無(wú)須變得富有、才華橫溢、功成名就，甚至無(wú)須經(jīng)驗(yàn)豐富，就能擁有自信。即使沒(méi)有任何證書、獎(jiǎng)杯或贊譽(yù)，你也能從一開始就充滿自信。你只需要改變思維方式。我所說(shuō)的改變，并不是表層的意識(shí)改變。自信不會(huì)來(lái)源于自我肯定、感恩日志，更不靠冥想。建立自信的過(guò)程實(shí)際上是在核心信念層面上改變思維方式。打個(gè)比方，如果想要實(shí)現(xiàn)行為上的持久改變，就一定要讓新行為與你的核心價(jià)值觀和目標(biāo)保持一致。脫離核心價(jià)值觀的支撐，行為的改變就只會(huì)持續(xù)到你的意志力耗盡。自信的培養(yǎng)亦是如此。

Confident people possess distinct core beliefs that differ from the beliefs possessed by people who struggle with confidence. And these core beliefs of confidence are more often the cause—not the result—of both the external successes and internal satisfaction that confident people achieve. It is important to highlight that even people lacking confidence can succeed. In fact， they often do. For them， however， that outer success doesn’t come with the internal positive emotional experiences enjoyed by the high-confidence person. Instead of satisfaction and a sense of achievement， the person who succeeds without confidence usually just experiences relief （that they didn’t mess it up）. If the latter sounds familiar， take heart： This cycle can be broken and replaced with a new way of living and feeling.

自信者擁有的鮮明核心信念有別于自信不足的人。這樣的核心信念正是自信者取得外在成功和內(nèi)心滿足的原因，而非其結(jié)果。需要強(qiáng)調(diào)的是，缺乏自信也能取得成功——事實(shí)上，他們往往確實(shí)如此。只不過(guò)，這種外在成就并未伴隨高度自信者那種內(nèi)在的積極情感體驗(yàn)。缺乏自信的成功者獲得的不是滿足感和成就感，而是“幸好沒(méi)搞砸”的如釋重負(fù)。如果后者聽起來(lái)很耳熟，別灰心：這種循環(huán)是可以打破的，可以用全新的生活方式和感受取而代之。

（譯者單位：揚(yáng)州大學(xué)）

1 fanfare鼓吹，夸耀。" 2 affirmation肯定，確認(rèn)。

The Core Beliefs of Confidence

1. They know that outcomes can’t be controlled. What matters is their effort， their persistence， their preparation， and their goals.

2. They see success as an ongoing process and appreciate that hardships and setbacks are a necessary part of the journey.

3. They believe that success is inevitable if they stick with it and adapt.

4. They see failure as temporary， a source of feedback， and as learning opportunities.

5. They see anxiety， fear， doubts as a healthy sign that they are testing themselves rather than a sign of impending failure.

6. They don’t take rejection or failures personally.

If your goal is to experience the many inner and outer rewards of confidence， the above list of common core beliefs is an excellent place to start.