愛者如奴

培根

It is a poor saying of Epicurus， Satis magnum alter alteri theatrum sumus； as if man， made for the contemplation of heaven， and all noble objects， should do nothing but kneel before a little idol， and make himself a subject， though not of the mouth （as beasts are）， yet of the eye； which was given him for higher purposes.

伊壁鳩魯曾說過一句笨話：“人生不過是一座大戲臺。”似乎本應努力追求高尚事業的人類，卻只像玩偶般地逢場作戲。雖然愛情的奴隸并不同于那般只顧吃喝的禽獸，但畢竟也只是眼目色相的奴隸，而上帝賜人以眼睛本來是有更高尚的用途的。

It is a strange thing， to note the excess of this passion， and how it braves the nature， and value of things， by this； that the speaking in a perpetual hyperbole， is comely in nothing but in love. Neither is it merely in the phrase； for whereas it hath been well said， that the arch-flatterer， with whom all the petty flatterers have intelligence， is a mans self； certainly the lover is more. For there was never proud man thought so absurdly well of himself， as the lover doth of the person loved； and therefore it was well said， that it is impossible to love， and to be wise. Neither doth this weakness appear to others only， and not to the party loved； but to the loved most of all， except the love be reciproque. For it is a true rule， that love is ever rewarded， either with the reciproque， or with an inward and secret contempt.

過度的愛情追求，必然會降低人本身的價值。例如，只有在愛情中，才總是需要那種浮夸諂媚的辭令。而在其他場合，同樣的辭令只能招人恥笑。古人有一句名言： “最大的奉承，人總是留給自己的。”——只有對情人的奉承要算例外。因為甚至最驕傲的人，也甘愿在情人面前自輕自賤。所以古人說得好：“就是神在愛情中也難保持聰明。”愛人的這種弱點不僅在外人眼中是明顯的，就是在被追求者的眼中也會很明顯——除非她（他）也在追求他（她）。所以，愛情的代價就是如此，不能得到回愛，就會得到一種深藏于心的輕蔑，這是一條永真的定律。