
I was born in Daquanyan Village, Huaide County, Jinlin Province. My father ran a grain shop in Zhengjiatun where the army commanded by Zhang Zuolin was once stationed. My father and Zhang were fast friends. Zhang became very fond of me, for I was doing my best to become a scholar. He later proposed to my father for a marriage of me and his eldest son, saying that his was a dutiful son and a promising boy who would have a future in the army. Zhang said his son would need a woman like me to help him. My parents declined the proposal, thinking that a big official would always have three wives and four concubines and that their daughter would probably suffer in such a marriage. They explained that they would be willing if I agreed. Zhang Zuolin then asked his son to come to Zhengjiatun and make friends so that we could have a chance to find out if we were fit for each other. Hanqing (Zhang Xueliang’s alternative name. In ancient China, an alternative name was used by compeers in the family and friends of the same generation) was obedient to me and listened to me. I was satisfied with him. One day, he held my hands, saying that he would always obey me and would always love me. I nodded my agreement. So we were engaged.
After we grew up, my mother suggested that the wedding be held in Zhengjiatun on the ground that Zhang Xueliang’s mother had passed away. Zhang Zuolin agreed to the proposal. My father said again and again to my mother, “The Zhangs treasures the ties of friendship between the two families and they respect you and me.” My mother replied, “They are doing this because they treasure our daughter. I feel reassured.” I moved into the Marshal Zhang’s Residence in Shenyang after the wedding.
On his way back from Beiping to Shenyang, Marshal Zhang Zuolin was seriously wounded by a bomb planted and detonated by the Japanese troops. He had been dead when the train reached Shenyang. Grieved and angered by the murder, Hanqing swore to revenge the death of his father.

A war broke out in the central China shortly after China was unified. The havoc destroyed a lot of places and killed more than a million soldiers and civilians. Warlords Yan Xishan and Feng Yuxiang sent an envoy to Shenyang and tried to keep the army in northeast China neutral in the war. The central government also asked the northeast army to help squash the rebellion in the central region. Hanqing said, “The two warlords are damaging the unification of the country and making people suffer. They are in the war in their own interests. We will send the troops to suppress the rebellion and save the nation.” Someone worried that sending the forces to the central region might give the Japanese troops an opportunity in the northeast China. Hanqing weighed the cons and pros and made the decision to crack down the rebellion. The army marched and the two warlords were defeated.
After the rebellion, Zhang became the vice commander of the national military forces. After he was put into charge of administrative affairs in north China, Hanqing became the de facto ruler of the north and northeast of China. He was powerful only second to Chiang Kai-shek. Hanqing said that he felt the weight of the responsibility and he hoped he would have a chance to fight Japanese invaders.

Seeing him rule half of China and enjoy a huge fortune left over by his father, gold-digging women went after Hanqing. Hanqing was always easy with women. I was never concerned with Hanqing on this issue, for I was confident that Hanqing would never betray me.
One of the women was Zhao Yixia. Her father was a high-ranking government official in charge of national economy. She was chasing Hanqing and the media blew up the story sensationally. Her father admonished her but she refused to obey. Her father then announced in the media that she was no longer his daughter. It was headlines in newspapers across the country. Using this as an excuse, she pleaded me to accept her to be my husband’s secretary on a permanent basis and to take care of Hanqing’s daily life. Hanqing let me decide. Seeing the 14-year-old stripped of her family, I decided to take her in. She came to the Residence in Shenyang. As soon as she stepped into the door, she went down on her knees and said to me that she would forever be grateful to me for my great kindness, that she would forever be Hanqing’s secretary, and that she would never seek a position in the family. I bought her a house with my money and asked my accountant to give her a handsome salary to show we were nice to her.
Hanqing resigned from the government position after Tang Yulin, a general under Zhang’s command, led his troops in retreating when Japanese soldiers attacked Rehe Province. Hanqing went abroad on a study tour. He took me and our children to Europe. Chinese diplomats treated us nicely and we were warmly welcomed by state leaders and important politicians in Europe. Hanqing believed China needed a national leader to grow strong again and that he would espouse Chiang Kai-shek to lead China in defeating Japan and retrieving the lost land. He was summoned back to China when Chiang wanted to use Hanqing’s northeast army to annihilate the Communists. Our children stayed in Britain for education and Hanqing and I came back to China.
To stop the fight among Chinese, Hanqing determined to sacrifice himself and launched the Xi’an Incident. The incident led to the national solidarity against Japanese invaders. In order to assure Chiang’s safety, Hanqing accompanied Chiang back to Nanjing and he lost freedom. I was in Britain when this happened. How I regret I was not with him when it happened to Hanqing. I should have been there to stop him from accompanying Chiang back to Nanjing.
In prison, Hanqing was watched and guarded by the military, the police and the gendarmes. Hanqing said he would commit suicide to accuse Chiang of breaking the promise with him. I pointed out to him, “You can explain candidly to the military court that your armed remonstration was designed to be a revolutionary action to save the country and the people, to correct the wrong policy. You should never plead guilty for launching the armed remonstration. Your innocence is corroborated by Chiang’s adoption of your proposal. Since we are not guilty and we are correct, we are wrongfully imprisoned. We should look up to martyrs like Wen Tianxiang. We should hold the faith that history will deliver justice. You are responsible to hundreds of thousands of officers and soldiers of the northeast army, you are responsible to the officers and soldiers of the northwest army, and you are responsible to your children. And your ambition to die as a soldier on the battlefield is yet to be fulfilled and you haven’t seen the time God punish Chiang for his betrayal and ingratitude, how can you think of killing yourself? You need to resort to all means to survive if you want to be fair and nice to all the people concerned.” My reasoning convinced Hanqing. When the War against Japanese Invasion broke out after the July 7 Incident in 1937, Hanqing was excited, saying that the day had come for him to fight. He submitted a request to Mr. Chiang, asking for an opportunity to die on the battlefield. No answer ever came, which was a heave blow to Hanqing. Hanqing really regretted accompanying Chiang back to Nanjing. His wish to fight Japan was totally ignored.
In the spring of 1940 I was diagnosed of breast cancer. Hanqing said, “You should go immediately to Madam Song Meiling (1897-2003) for help and ask her to go to America for treatment. You will recover. Once you are healthy, don’t come back. It’s both because you need to make arrangements for our children and because you need to tell the truth of the Xi’an Incident to the world. Chiang Kai-shek broke his word and he is trying to fabricate the history. Please do your best to help me accomplish my wish.”
Before I left, Hanqing and I spent sleepless nights talking and saying goodbye. Hanqing promised he would never commit suicide. I arrived in America in June, 1945. I recovered well after the surgery. Madam Song and Kong Xiangxi came to see me in New York and asked if they could do anything for me. Kong Xiangxi asked me not to buy home in New York or San Francisco, for the two cities were quite complicated. He said I should settle down in a quiet community in a city other than New York and San Francisco for the future reunion with Hanqing in America.
With a tip from Kong, I bought a house in Hollywood. It was located on a hill, quiet and the community was not so crowded. Kong wanted to give the house to me as a gift, but I bought it with my own money. I invested in the stock markets and bought properties nearby when I made profit. I finally settled down in America and children grew up and had their own families.
Time flied. In 1964, someone used Hanqing’s name and forged a story entitled “My Confession on Xi’an Incident”. It was published in a magazine, which was shut down later. Hanqing and I had expected trouble, but we had not expected the confession. In my opinion, it was designed to deceive people and pass the buck to Hanqing for losing the mainland. Hanqing was not guilty. What is more, he did not have the literary aptitude for such a piece. Miss Zhao was not up to writing such a piece either, for she did not have much schooling.
In 1964, Chiang Kai-shek designed a farce of divorce and wedding in order to fool people as well as himself. The pretext was that the church required its disciples to practise monogamy. Chiang was using this excuse to prevent Hanqing from joining his family in USA and enjoying freedom. A distant relative of the Zhang family suddenly came from Taiwan to visit me in USA. He had not been in contact with us for a long time. He had the nerve to come to say without preambles that he was visiting for my divorce with Hanqing. I asked if the government sent him, if yes, what government agency in Taiwan sent him. He said he was a government employee, but he came not under the instruction of the government but for the safety of Hanqing. I then asked if Hanqing asked him to make this visit. He hesitated, and then said no. he replied that as Hanqing had admitted he was guilty and he was law-abiding and was willing to live with Miss Zhao in Taiwan, so he wanted divorce. The man explained he went to see Hanqing and Zhao and it was what Zhao said.
I phoned Hanqing and he said, “We are forever. I leave it to your decision.”
To protect Hanqing, I signed the divorce document. But I have never accepted and will never accept the illicit divorce and marriage imposed on me. Hanqing’s remark that “we are forever” says enough for me, for both of us never said yes to it. Madam Song Meiling exchanges Christmas cards and New Year cards with me every year. That year, she still addressed me as Mrs. Zhang and has kept using that title.
Years have passed like a river and time is ruthless. My sons have passed away and I have been waiting for Hanqing. I feel a little bit relieved when I see my granddaughters and grandsons. Hanqing asked me to take care of our family. I have done my best.