書面表達訓練、指導與評判

郝鵬程

目前不少中學生喜歡穿名牌衣服，有些還在同學面前炫耀，對此不同的人有不同的觀點。閱讀下表內容，寫一篇文章介紹這些觀點，并發表自己的看法。

字數：120左右。

指導：這是一篇現象評論文，寫作時應注意下列幾點：

1.正確把握寫作時態

現象評論文是對現階段存在的社會現象所做的評價，因此無論是介紹支持性觀點還是反對性觀點，還是發表自己的觀點，均應用一般現在時。同學們應熟悉這一時態規律，把一般現在時的時態落實到每一個句子的每一個動詞中去，以提高語言的準確性。

2.熟悉常識性語句

現象評論文有不少語言是有規律出現的，如文章開頭過渡下文時可使用Recently our class has held a heated discussion on whether we should…。Different students have different opinions about it。描繪一部分人的不同觀點時可用Some think that…, Some believe that…, Some hold the view that…。描繪不同觀點時可用Some dont think so。描繪自己觀點時可用 I think that…, We can…but we should…。

3.正確使用過渡詞匯

現象評論文過渡詞匯的使用非常有特點。列舉支持性觀點可用besides, whats more；列舉反對性觀點可用whats worse, to make the matter worse, whats worst；介紹自己觀點可用in my opinion, in the opinion of me, in the eyes of me；由支持性觀點向反對性觀點過渡時可用however。無論是列舉支持性觀點、反對性觀點還是自己觀點均可使用at the same time, (in the) meanwhile, also, still等過渡詞匯。

評判：

習作展示：

Now, many students like to wear famous clothes, and some even show off their clothes. Different students have different opinions about it.

Some think every one① likes beauty, so those wear② famous clothes can better show their personal appearance and character. Whats more, famous clothes are usually with③ high quality, and last longer.

However, some think famous clothes are usually expensive, so wearing such a④ clothes can give the parents a heavy burden. Whats worse, wearing such clothes can cause students to compete for better clothes, contributing to the forming of bad social custom⑤.

In my opinion, there are many ways to show our personal character, so we neednt show it by wearing famous clothes. Meanwhile, students dont earn money and shouldnt spend too many ⑥ money on famous clothes. Saving is a good virtue but wearing famous clothes is surely against it.

修改說明：①這里指每一個人，every one應改為everyone。②此處作定語而不作謂語，wear應改為wearing。③此處表示具有，with應改為of，構成be of+抽象名詞句型。④clothes前面不可用不定冠詞修飾，應去掉a。 ⑤custom為可數名詞，此處應用復數形式,custom應改為customs。⑥money為不可數名詞，many應改為much。

精彩提煉：

參考答案：

Now, many students like to wear famous clothes, and some even show off their clothes. Different students have different opinions about it.

Some think everyone likes beauty, so those wearing famous clothes can better show their personal appearance and character. What's more, famous clothes are usually of high quality, and last longer.

However, some think famous clothes are usually expensive, so wearing such clothes can give the parents a heavy burden. What's worse, wearing such clothes can cause students to compete for better clothes, contributing to the forming of bad social customs.

In my opinion, there are many ways to show our personal character, so we needn't show it by wearing famous clothes. Meanwhile, students don't earn money and shouldn't spend too much money on famous clothes. Saving is a good virtue but wearing famous clothes is surely against it.