1. Become aware of your needs
The first step is to accept yourself. Remember, the unconscious part of your brain really knows you. When you force yourself to act differently, it will show. If your life is unduly boring — or if you feel put upon or neglected — admit it and do something about it, rather than just saying, “This is the pits.”
2. Let your needs be known
Assert yourself and clearly present your feelings without attacking others. This will avoid allowing negative feelings to build up and get expressed in some negative way either internally (stress) or externally (inappropriate behavior).
3. Demonstrate behavior that reflects high self-esteem
This can be accomplished via body language and attitude. If you look alert and interested, and follow with a cheerful smile — others will recognize the good feelings you have about yourself.
4. Work to improve yourself
Learning — by reading; enrolling in academic or self-improvement classes; or working with others.
Challenges — do something new every few months that you have not done before that seem interesting or like fun.
Physical health appearance — improve your nutrition; get adequate rest; engage in regular exercise
Spirit — spend time with optimistic people; follow a spiritual program; work on projecting a positive attitude
5. Stop negative value judgments about yourself and others
Become aware of how much energy goes into “judging” others versus finding “unique strengths” in others to admire and relate to.
6. Allow and plan for successes
Emphasize what you do well. Build on the strengths you have and value that part of you. Remember that all successful people have regular failures but do not allow themselves to be defeated by them.
7. Think positively
Think about your good qualities. Give yourself credit. Keep a “What I Like About Myself” journal.
8. Learn to escape when appropriate
It is good to meet problems head on, but occasional side-stepping may be desirable at times. People often set unrealistically high standards, and become frustrated when they are not achieved. Learn to add variety to your life by planning some interesting (not especially expensive) activities. Don’t wait for someone else to make your life interesting.
9. Find ways to help others
Refocus your attention on the needs of others. Identify ways you can give to others (i.e., volunteering for a community project, finding a person in need of companionship, etc.). Above all, show interest in others during normal conversations.
10. Be willing to seek help when required
When you have problems, find people with whom you can share them. If problems seem overwhelming, it is appropriate to seek professional help. Professional help is particularly indicated if the intensity of the feelings does not go away after sharing with friends or family, or if feelings of worthlessness or low self-esteem persist.
1、了解你自己的需求
首先要認可自己。 記住, 只有你大腦的下意識才真正了解你。當你強迫自己做出不同的行為時,這一點就會得到證明。如果你的生活非常枯燥乏味——或是你感到被人打擾或忽視—— 那就承認這一點并采取一些措施,而不要只是說:“這簡直是糟糕透頂。”
2、讓別人了解你的需要
表明你的看法與情感而不要攻擊他人。這會避免消極情緒的蓄積及內部(緊張)或外部(不適當行為)的消極表現方式
3、表現出有高度自尊的行為
這可以通過肢體語言和態度得以實現。如果你顯得反應機敏,充滿興趣并繼之以開朗的微笑——別人會看出你具有的良好精神狀態。
4、通過下述事項努力完善自己
學習——讀書; 去學校或自修班上課;或與人合作。
挑戰——每隔幾個月做點從未做過的有趣事情。
身體健康與外表——加強營養;充分休息;定期參加體育鍛煉。
精神——常和樂觀之人在一起;從事精神活動;努力培養積極的人生態度
5、不要對自己及他人做出否定的價值判斷
注意花在評判別人上的精力有多少,同時注意用于發現別人身上值得欽佩與學習的“特長”又有多少。
6、為成功做籌劃
重視你能做好的事情。增強你已有的長處并加以珍惜。記住,一切成功人士都會時常遭遇失敗,卻沒有被失敗擊垮。
7、積極地思維
常想自己的優點,肯定自己,寫“自我優勢評判”日記。
8、必要時學會逃避
迎難而進固然可嘉,但有時不妨繞過問題。人們往往不切實際地制定出高標準,沒有實現時就會垂頭喪氣。學會通過籌劃一些有趣(代價又不太高)的活動充實自己的生活。不要指望別人來調劑你的生活。
9、尋求助人的方法
重新關注他人的需求,尋求助人的方法(例如:自愿參加社區活動,找一個孤獨需要陪伴的人等)。更重要的是,在平常談話時要表現出對他人的關注。
10、必要時愿意求助
遇到難題時,找到可與你分擔困難的人。如果問題太難,就該尋求專業人士幫助。如果與朋友或家人商討后仍無法消除內心的不安,或者內心的虛無感或自卑感依然存在,這說明尤其需要尋求專業人士幫助。