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認清材料特征 搞掂提綱作文

2010-12-31 00:00:00車應森
中學生百科·大語文 2010年9期

假設你是正在上高中的李華,你的加拿大網友Jim在給你的來信中想了解中國高中生和大學生是怎樣安排暑期的,請你以 “The Ways in Which Students Spend Summer Vacation”為題寫一篇短文,將最近某英文報紙上刊登的下列信息告訴他,并簡要談談你對此的看法。

注意:1. 根據思路圖適當展開,以使行文連貫;2. 詞數:120左右。

分析整合

(1) 寫作思路

①全文圍繞標題 “The Ways in Which Students Spend Summer Vacation”展開,根據英語提綱信息可知,高中生和大學生過暑假的方式存在較大差異,故應寫出一個能有效覆蓋此差異的主旨句,以體現語篇中段落的發展方向。② 在高中生和大學生如何度過暑假方面,信息中僅列舉了相應的事實細節,故應根據已知信息抽象出各自段落的主題句。③ 最后一段談自己就此問題的看法。

(2)信息要點

① 標題:The Ways in Which Students Spend Summer Vacation

② 語篇組織 (斜體部分為擴展信息):

段落1:

全文主旨段:There are great differences between how high school students and college students spend summer vacation.

段落2:(高中生過暑假的方式)根據信息 “stay at home”和“go to school”可知,高中生暑假主要是在室內度過,故該段主題句可以是:High school students spend most of their summer vacation indoors. 本段拓展句建立在短語“stay at home”和“go to school”上,可拓展為:The reason why some choose to stay at home is largely due to their parents, who are expecting their kids to devote as much time as possible to their school work. Despite the pressures of school assignments,they feel free and relaxed at home, chatting with their family,watching TV or visiting relatives. Others go back to school as usual for further improvement in study skills.

段落3:(大學生過暑假的方式)根據信息 “go travelling ”和“gain work experience”可知,大學生的暑假過得豐富多彩,所以該段的主題句可寫為:College students enjoy a more interesting and meaningful summer vacation than do high school students. 本段拓展句建立在短語“go travelling”和“gain work experience”上,可拓展為:Some prefer to travel to places of interest sightseeing across the country,which offers them a high quality environment and an attractive place to stay,far from the problems of the big cities. More and more college students prefer to use their spare time to gain work experience in the places such as companies. This experience may help them to get better jobs after graduation.

段落4:根據文中提到的現象,表述清楚自己就此問題的看法。可以是:In my opinion though,as young teenagers,both high school students and college students should spend their summer vacation in a colorful way. They should not only continue their school work and enjoy themselves,but they should also make good preparations for the future.

(3)語篇整理

考生如果只是簡單地羅列出上述要點,在遣詞、句式和表達上不僅單調,而且也無法高質量完成寫作任務。因此,有必要在上述基礎上對每一個要點進行恰當的擴展,擴展部分在意義和邏輯上應與前后文一致。除此以外,英語段落有較強的段落特征,即一個段落往往是圍繞一個特定話題展開,要有主題句以及支撐主題句發展的具體信息,必要時在段尾還有總結句。

The Ways in Which Students Spend Summer Vacation

There are great differences between how high school students and college students spend summer vacation①.

High school students spend most of their summer vacation indoors②. The reason why some choose to stay at home is largely due to their parents, who are expecting their kids to devote as much time as possible to their school work③. Despite the pressures of school assignments,they feel free and relaxed at home,chatting with their family,watching TV or visiting relatives④. Others go back to school as usual for further improvement in study skills.

However,college students enjoy a more interesting and meaningful summer vacation than do high school students⑤. Some prefer to travel to places of interest sightseeing across the country,which offers them a high quality environment and an attractive place to stay,far from the problems of the big cities⑥. More and more college students prefer to use their spare time to gain work experience in the places such as companies⑦. This experience may help them to get better jobs after graduation.

In my opinion though,as young teenagers,both high school students and college students should spend their summer vacation in a colorful way. They should not only continue their school work and enjoy themselves,but they should also make good preparations for the future⑧.

(4)技巧點撥

(1)全文語篇結構明晰,圍繞話題 “The Ways in Which Students Spend Summer Vacation”展開,段落組織符合英語短文特點;句①為全文的主旨段,體現語篇的發展方向;句②及⑤為第二段和第三段的主題句,體現相應段落的發展順序。

(2)全文遣詞準確、句式豐富、表達連貫。例:以下詞語的運用使得表達更為準確:due to, devote to,as much as possible,further improvement,a high quality environment, prefer, such as, in my opinion though(adv.),make good preparations for,etc. 句④使用despite引出的介詞短語代替讓步狀語從句,句子顯得更簡潔,使用了現在分詞短語“chatting with the family, watching TV or visiting relatives”作伴隨狀語,增強了句子表達的多樣性;句⑤than后使用倒裝,句子顯得平衡;句③、句⑥運用了關系副詞why和關系代詞who以及關系代詞which引出定語從句,豐富了表達效果;句⑦中使用比較級結構,起到承上啟下作用;句⑧使用“not only…but also…”,不僅語意連貫清楚,同時句子顯得更緊湊。

鞏固運用

假設你是李華,你的英國朋友Peter來信向你詢問如何才能學好中文。請你根據下列要點寫封回信。

要點:

1. 參加中文學習班;2. 看中文書刊、電視;3. 學唱中文歌曲; 4. 交中國朋友。

注意:1. 詞數100左右;2. 可適當增加細節,以使行文連貫;3. 開頭語已為你寫好。

Dear Peter,

I’m glad to receive your letter asking for my advice on how to learn Chinese well.

Best wishes!

信息整合

(1)“點”、“句”組織及拓展

參加中文學習班:take a Chinese course →

It is important to take a Chinese course, as you’ll be able to learn from the teacher and practice with your fellow classmates.

看中文書刊、電視:

watch TV and read books,newspapers and magazines in Chinese →

It helps to watch TV and read books,newspapers and magazines in Chinese whenever possible.

學唱中文歌曲:learn and sing Chinese songs →

It should be a good idea to learn and sing Chinese songs,because you’ll learn and remember Chinese words more easily by doing so.

交中國朋友:make Chinese friends →

You can also make more Chinese friends,who will tell you a lot about China and help you learn Chinese.

(2)語篇組織

Dear Peter,

I’m glad to receive your letter asking for my advice on how to learn Chinese well.

Here are a few suggestions. First,it is important to take a Chinese course,as you’ll be able to learn from the teacher and practice with your fellow classmates. Then,it also helps to watch TV and read books, newspapers and magazines in Chinese whenever possible.

Besides,it should be a good idea to learn and sing Chinese songs, because you’ll learn and remember Chinese words more easily by doing so. You can also make more Chinese friends,who will tell you a lot about China and help you learn Chinese.

Try and write me in Chinese next time.

Best wishes!Li Hua

編輯/梁宇清

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