孩童如小狗,少年似小貓

I just realized that while children are dogs…loyal and affectionate…teenagers are cats.

It’s so easy to be a dog owner. You feed them， train them， boss them around. They put their heads on your knee and gaze at you， as if you were a Rembrandt painting. They bounce right back indoors with enthusiasm when you call them.

Then around age 13， those adorable little puppies turn into big old cats. When you tell them to come inside， they look bewildered， as if wondering who died and made you an emperor. Instead of dogging your doorstep， they disappear. You won’t see them again until they get hungry. Then they pause on their sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn their noses up at whatever you’re serving. When you reach out to ruffle their heads， in that old affectionate gesture， they twist away from you then give you a blank stare， as if trying to remember where they have seen you before.

Not realizing that your dogs are now cats， you think something must have gone terribly wrong. They seem so antisocial， so distant， sort of depressed. They won’t go on family outings. Since you’re the one who raised them， taught them to fetch， stay and sit on command， you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear， you redouble your efforts to make your pets behave.

Only now you’re dealing with cats， and everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call them and they run away. Tell them to sit and they jump on the counter. The more you go toward them， wringing your hands， the more they move away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner， you should learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door and let them come to you. But remember that cats need your help and affection， too. Sit still and they will come， seeking that warm， comforting lap they have not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for them.

One day your grown-up children will walk into the kitchen， give you a big kiss and say， “You’ve been on your feet all day. Let us get those dishes for you.”

Then you’ll realize your cats are dogs again.

我最近意識到，如果說小孩如小狗一樣忠誠和親切，那么十幾歲的少年就像小貓。

狗的主人并不難當。你給他們東西吃，訓練他們，對他們發(fā)號施令。他們把頭放在你的膝蓋上望著你，好像你是一幅倫勃朗的作品似的。你在外面喚他們，他們會在房子里興奮地跳上跳下。

然而，在大約十三歲的時候，你那討人喜愛的小狗就變成了冷酷的老貓。你叫他們回屋子里，他們會很驚訝，就像聽到某人死了讓你去繼承王位一樣。他們不像往常那樣在門前臺階纏著你，反而轉眼間就不見了蹤影，直到餓了才會再次出現(xiàn)在你面前。他們快速地沖到廚房，遠遠就停下來，輕蔑地打量你準備的食物。這時你伸出手去，想如往常那樣親切地撫摸他們的腦袋，他們卻馬上閃開，然后丟給你一個白眼，好像在試圖回憶在哪里見過你。

你還未意識到從前的小狗現(xiàn)在成了小貓，覺得一定是出了什么大問題。他們似乎與周圍的事物格格不入，難以親近，還帶著幾分壓抑。他們不愿參加家庭的外出活動。想到是你一手把他們養(yǎng)大，負責教他們抓東西、立定、坐下，你便認為是自己做錯了什么事才會造成這樣的結果。你滿懷罪惡感和恐懼感，更加努力，想讓你的寵物們變得守規(guī)矩。

只不過現(xiàn)在你面對的是小貓，以前奏效的方法現(xiàn)在都適得其反。你越叫他們，他們越跑；要他們坐下，他們偏偏跳上柜臺；你心急如焚地絞緊雙手，越想接近他們，他們卻離你越遠。

這時，你應該開始學著做貓的主人，而不是狗的主人。把一盤食物放在門口，讓他們自己走過來。不過要記住，小貓也需要你的幫助和關心。如果你靜靜地坐著，他們就會走過來，尋找那個他們還沒有完全忘記的溫暖、舒適的大腿。在那兒為他們敞開大門吧。

當某一天，你那長大成人的孩子走進廚房，給你一個溫暖的擁吻，然后說：“您都站了一整天了，讓我們幫您把那些餐具拿過來吧。”

這時你會發(fā)現(xiàn)，你的小貓又成了昔日的小狗了。