明確寫作要求 避免離體離題

讀寫任務已考查多年，在備考的過程中，大家都已有比較成熟的經驗和技巧去從容應對，包括如何概括，如何寫出優美的句式來贏得評卷老師的好印象等。但是在筆者教學實踐中發現，有些文筆功底很好的學生，卻不一定能夠拿到高分。問題不是出自語言，而是源于審題不嚴謹，造成了理解誤差，導致寫出來的文章不符合出題者的要求，出現“高能低分現象”。

一、實例分析

閱讀下面短文，然后按要求寫一篇150詞左右的英語短文。

Dear Editor，

Recently I feel a little frustrated， so I am writing to you for advice. I have a very close friend who I have trust in. He is a very nice student who has really given others the impression of an honest guy and many times he was honored as an excellent student in our school， so in my eyes， he is so great.

But last week， when we were taking the mid-term English exam， I suddenly found that in his hand was his cell phone， he was copying something from it secretly！ But the teacher didn’t find this at all. When the result was announced， he was praised for getting a very good grade.

I feel shamed for him， my best friend， and for what he had done in the exam， but the teacher still believes that he is diligent and does well in English. Should I tell the teacher about his cheating in the exam？ If I do so， maybe he would not understand me and would no longer regard me as a friend， and then I may lose a close friend forever. If I don’t tell the truth to the teacher， he will cheat again in the next exam. What should I do？

Yours，

Jesse

要求一 [寫作內容]

1. 以約30個詞概括這封信的主要內容。

2. 以約120個詞就“友情和誠實”發表你的看法，內容包括：

（1） 如果你是Jesse，你當時會如何處理此事；

（2） 你覺得友情和誠實哪個更重要；

（3） 生活中你是怎樣維護真正的友情的。

要求二 [寫作內容]

假設你是編輯，請你回信

1. 以約30個詞概括這封信的主要內容。

2. 以約120個詞就“友情和誠實”發表你的看法，內容包括：

（1）如果你是Jesse，你現在會如何處理此事；

（2）你覺得友情和誠實哪個更重要；

（3）結合你自己的一次經歷，說說怎樣維護真正的友情。

筆者曾經試過將此文章，在同一個班級分成兩組分別用要求一和要求二讓學生寫作，也試過了在一個班級全體學生先寫要求一，待批改后再寫要求二。結果發現，在同一個班級分為兩組寫的情況下，部分同學在不同要求下寫出的竟然是同樣的文章，而在不同時間寫要求不同文章的學生在批改后也出現了這樣的錯誤，只是詞句上有所改觀，問題和基本內容包括文體沒有改變。如果同學們沒有認真地地分析以上兩個要求，也容易出現把二者混為一談。

其實上“要求一”和“要求二”有很大區別。分析如下：

要求一：

關于概括，我們應該以第三人稱，讀者的身份來進行概括。此時應該把這封信當作一個普通的文章來閱讀，就是在閱讀一個故事。那文章概括的主要內容就是作者現在感覺沮喪，因為被老師認為優秀的好朋友在英語考試中作弊了，老師非但沒有發現而且表揚他了，作者在是否舉報和隱瞞的困境中猶豫。

在正文部分，針對“（1） 如果你是Jesse，你當時會如何處理此事”。其實此處對寫作提出了時態要求，因為整個文章講述的是過去的事情，此時應該使用與過去事實相反的虛擬語氣，即用“If I were Jesse ， I would have done ...”這種句式來寫。

對于“（3） 生活中你是怎樣維護真正的友情的”，此時文章實際要求我們聯系生活實際來舉例說明，用記敘文、夾敘夾議或議論文文體都可以。

要求二：

關于概括，此時我們應該使用書信體回信，使用第一人稱，以參與者的身份與當事人對話來概括，這是概括最特殊的一個類型了，相類似的文章包括了電子郵件、書信、便條等等，通常以“From your letter， I know...” “In your letter/email， you mentioned...”等開頭。那我們寫的就是書信，則概括的內容就是“我得知你深感沮喪，因為你被老師認為優秀的朋友在英語考試中作弊，你現在深陷困境了”。

在正文部分“（1） 如果你是Jesse，你現在會如何處理此事”。此處也對文章寫作時態提出了要求，盡管同樣是要用虛擬語氣，但它要求指向現在或未來，要求使用“If I were Jesse ， I would...”來寫，討論的是我現在的打算，也可以用將來時態去寫。

對于“（3） 結合你自己的一次經歷，說說怎樣維護真正的友情”。因為此處的“經歷”就是要求我們寫一個自己參與了的故事，應該使用記敘文而且是用過去時態來寫。同時也要用議論文來寫如何維護友情。

試比較兩個要求的作文的不同之處。

參考范文一：

The writer of the letter found his best friend cheating in the English exam， but he is frustrated by this as he did not know whether he should tell the teacher about the truth.（第三人稱）

If I were Jesse， I would have told the teacher what had happened even though it could have made my friend very upset. But in fact， that could be the only good way in my eyes to help my friend and let him be aware of his own mistake so that he would never cheat again. That would be good for real friendship between him and me. （與過去事實相反的虛擬語氣）

Friendship and honesty are both important in life， but in my opinion， as a student， to be honest is most important of all. Honesty can make us win respect and trust from people around. So when I can’t eat the cake and have it， I would choose honesty first.

In my life， if my friend makes a mistake， I will try my best to help him. If possible， I will have a heart-to-heart talk with him or her， or I will ask the teachers or parents to give him a hand. Any way， a true friend is like a mirror of myself. （議論文體）

參考范文二：

From your letter， I know you are frustrated by your best friend cheating in the English exam and you wonder whether you should tell the teacher about the truth. （第一人稱，身份不同）

If I were Jesse now， I would tell the teacher the truth or persuade him to admit his mistake to the teacher even though he is my best friend， which， I think， is a good way to help my friend and let him be aware of his mistake so that he will never cheat again. That is good for real friendship. （與現在事實相反的虛擬語氣）

Friendship and honesty are both important in life， but in my opinion， as a student， to be honest is most important of all. Honesty can make us win respect and trust from people around. So when I can’t eat the cake and have it， I would choose honesty first.

Once in my life， one of my friends did the same thing as your friend had done when I was in my junior high school. I had a heart-to-heart talk with him after school. Finally， my friend admitted his mistake and turned a really excellent student. As a result， our friendship became much deeper. （講述經歷，記敘文體） From this I realize， if you really care about your friend and help him or her correct his or her mistakes， he will value your sincere friendship and your friendship will be long-lasting. （講道理，議論）

二、應對策略

在實際的寫作過程當中，同學們一定要認真地閱讀寫作要求，認真審題，在搞清楚了寫作要求之后，尤其要注意文章要求考生到底是用什么身份來概括。對于要點部分，一定要逐字推敲中文，想清楚文體、時態，然后再動筆，萬萬不可提筆就寫，導致離體離題，得不償失。

特別是要區分好“請舉例說明”，“敘述一個真實或者虛構的故事”“聯系自己的實際發表你的看法”“簡述如何才能……”，“你對……的看法”“就……現象進行議論”“假如你是……你現在會……/你當時會……”“請列舉……的行為和現象”等等，其實就高中生的中文能力是能夠輕而易舉地搞清楚題目的要求的，主要是沒有認真審題，導致失誤。

（作者單位：深圳市新安中學）

責任編校 蔣小青