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他是個害蟲

2012-04-29 00:00:00
瘋狂英語·口語版 2012年10期

小孩子天性愛玩,甚至愛搗亂。Olivia因為自己4歲多的小外甥Joe經常搗蛋而稱他為pest(害蟲),我們來看看Joe是如何給大人們制造麻煩的。

(door 1)crashes open, sound of a child running in)

Olivia: Joe! Can you stop that please! Can you please come here and sit down!

Magda: Hello there, Olivia. Who’s this?

Olivia: This is Joe—he’s my nephew.

Magda: Nephew?

Olivia: My sister’s son.

Magda: Oh! I see. He’s lovely! I love children... Olivia: Yeah, they’re great until you have to look after them...

Magda: You’re looking after him?

Olivia: Yeah, just for today, fortunately. My sister can’t get a babysitter. But Joe comes to my shop quite often. He loves it there...unfortunately!

Magda: Why’s that “unfortunate”?

Olivia: Because he’s a pest, that’s why...

Magda: What’s a “pest”?

Olivia: Somebody or something which makes you angry...

Magda: No!! I don’t believe it! He’s so sweet! How old is he?

Olivia: Four, nearly five.

(enter Fadi)

Fadi: Whoooaaaa! Slow down there, little man! Who’s this?

Olivia: Fadi, meet Joe.

Magda: He’s Olivia’s nephew. And a sweet little pest!

Fadi: Oh really! I didn’t know you were Aunt Olivia!

Olivia: Thank you very much Fadi. You make me feel old. Listen, have you had a chat with Harry yet?

Fadi: About work?

Olivia: Yeah.

Fadi: No, not yet, but I’m supposed to talk to him today. He said he’d be in here later.

Olivia: Listen, though, it’s not true what Harry was saying...

Fadi: About what?

Olivia: About me being upset if he can’t do the website for my shop...I don’t mind if he can’t do it! He wanted far too much money. I could never have afforded it. Now it’s OK, because he thinks he’s turning me down...I don’t have to offend him by saying “no”! A happy result all round!

Fadi: I see...so I don’t have to 2)bail you out, after all?

Olivia: No!

(crashing noise in background)

Olivia: Joe, can you stop that please? Come over here!

(enter Harry)

Fadi: ...and here he is!

Harry: Alright mate!

All: Hi!

Harry: Alright Olivia, Magda...who’s this young man?

Olivia: My nephew, Joe.

Harry: Hello Joe!

(sound of something breaking)

Olivia: Oh no!

Harry: He’s very...erm...what’s the word... 3)energetic?

(laughter)

Olivia: I just call him “trouble”!

Harry: So, Fadi, you wanted to talk business?

Fadi: Yeah, finally...well, I’ve got the all clear from my uncle, so we’re on.

Harry: Great.

Fadi: But...

Harry: There’s always a “but”!

Fadi: You’re going to have to do us a favour and come down on the price, mate...

Harry: What price did I quote you?

Fadi: Two thousand five hundred.

Harry: Well, seeing as you’re a friend, I could come down to two thousand four hundred, but not less than that.

Fadi: We can offer two thousand. That’s our top limit. We don’t have a bigger budget than that. Harry: Come on! You’re joking!

Fadi: Sorry mate. It’s two thousand, or nothing. Harry: No way. Can’t be done. I’ve got to go now...got to go and see Johnny—he’s offered me a real job...bye all!

All: Bye.

Fadi: Oh no, do you think he’s really upset now?

Olivia: I don’t think “upset” is the word....

Fadi: We can go a bit higher actually...I was just trying to be a tough negotiator.

Magda: A bit too tough, I think.

Olivia: You should never mix work and friendship, anyway.

Magda: And you probably shouldn’t have a business meeting in a café!

Fadi: Oh no. What a mess. I’d better go. Hang on..where’s my...where are my....I can’t find my mobile! Or my keys! Has anyone seen them?

Magda: Let’s look under the seats...they must be here somewhere...

Fadi: I can’t see anything.

Magda: No sign.

Olivia: How strange...hang on a minute, my nephew’s been terribly quiet for the last five minutes...what’s he up to...Joe!!!

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