本期點評名師

【欄目要求】

1. 將學生習作根據中考分值給出成績； 2. 在應該修改的地方劃線并標注序號；

3. 根據所標序號進行修改并說明修改的理由； 4. 給學生習作點評<優點與不足>；

5. 請點評名師提供簡歷一份，包括：學校、職務、 職稱、榮譽、教研教學成果、照片一張。

來稿請寄： 430079 華中師范大學外國語學院《中學生英語》 雜志社 初中部 收

教師簡介

陳傳光 男，32歲，中學一級教師，現任教于江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學，從事教育教學工作9年。江蘇省教育學會會員，連云港市優秀教育園丁，贛榆縣優秀班主任。有多篇論文在各雜志期刊上發表并獲獎。曾獲全國中學生新課程英語語言能力競賽優秀輔導教師一等獎。

My Happy Family

I live in a warm family. There are four people in my family： my grandmother， my parents and I.

My grandmother is 65 years old， but she is in good healthy①. She does morning exercises in the park and buys fresh vegetables in the market every morning.

My father is a② engineer. He works very hard and always travels on business. But he often takes us to some interesting places to travel when he is free. We often enjoy ourselves.

My mother is a teacher in a university. She is very kind but strict with me. She is such③ busy with her work that she always gets home late. After she comes back， I often share funny stories which happened at school with her to make her relaxing④.

I am a middle school student and I love reading. For me， study is a happy but challenging job.

East or west， home is best. I love my happy family.

江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學七（5）班 張恒

1. 優點：

家，是溫柔的港灣。在本文中，張恒同學一一向我們介紹了奶奶、爸爸、媽媽和自己的職業及生活習慣。小作者最后通過一句諺語收尾，升華了主題。透過小作者的文字，我們也仿佛感受到了這個小家庭的溫暖。文章文字流暢、結構清晰，是一篇優秀的學生習作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

① healthy改為health。health是名詞，意為“健康”，形容詞good修飾名詞health。

② a改為an。engineer首字母發元音。

③ such改為so。通常情況下such后接名詞，so后接形容詞或副詞。

④ relaxing改為relaxed。relaxing形容物，意為“使人放松的”， relaxed形容人，意為“放松的”。

3. 評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標準，本文修改前可得17分。