【欄目要求】
1. 將學生習作根據中考分值給出成績; 2. 在應該修改的地方劃線并標注序號;
3. 根據所標序號進行修改并說明修改的理由; 4. 給學生習作點評<優點與不足>;
5. 請點評名師提供簡歷一份,包括:學校、職務、 職稱、榮譽、教研教學成果、照片一張。
來稿請寄: 430079 華中師范大學外國語學院《中學生英語》 雜志社 初中部 收
教師簡介
陳傳光 男,32歲,中學一級教師,現任教于江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學,從事教育教學工作9年。江蘇省教育學會會員,連云港市優秀教育園丁,贛榆縣優秀班主任。有多篇論文在各雜志期刊上發表并獲獎。曾獲全國中學生新課程英語語言能力競賽優秀輔導教師一等獎。
My Happy Family
I live in a warm family. There are four people in my family: my grandmother, my parents and I.
My grandmother is 65 years old, but she is in good healthy①. She does morning exercises in the park and buys fresh vegetables in the market every morning.
My father is a② engineer. He works very hard and always travels on business. But he often takes us to some interesting places to travel when he is free. We often enjoy ourselves.
My mother is a teacher in a university. She is very kind but strict with me. She is such③ busy with her work that she always gets home late. After she comes back, I often share funny stories which happened at school with her to make her relaxing④.
I am a middle school student and I love reading. For me, study is a happy but challenging job.
East or west, home is best. I love my happy family.
江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學七(5)班 張恒
1. 優點:
家,是溫柔的港灣。在本文中,張恒同學一一向我們介紹了奶奶、爸爸、媽媽和自己的職業及生活習慣。小作者最后通過一句諺語收尾,升華了主題。透過小作者的文字,我們也仿佛感受到了這個小家庭的溫暖。文章文字流暢、結構清晰,是一篇優秀的學生習作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① healthy改為health。health是名詞,意為“健康”,形容詞good修飾名詞health。
② a改為an。engineer首字母發元音。
③ such改為so。通常情況下such后接名詞,so后接形容詞或副詞。
④ relaxing改為relaxed。relaxing形容物,意為“使人放松的”, relaxed形容人,意為“放松的”。
3. 評分:
按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標準,本文修改前可得17分。