我今天吼你了

by Pat Tomlinson Joyce 譯

我今天吼你了

I Yelled at You Today

by Pat Tomlinson Joyce 譯

yelled at you today. I had gone to the kitchen to start dinner. And you called out,“Where are you, where are you?”

“I’m right in the kitchen,” I answered angrily. “Oh,” you replied with a sigh of relief.

I yelled at you today. This time I was in the bathroom.

“Where’d ya go? Pat? Pat?”

You called my name over and over.

“I’m in the bathroom,” I shouted at the top of my voice, knowing full well you couldn’t hear me, certain the neighbors could.

我今天吼你了。我明明在廚房準備晚餐。你卻大聲叫喚，“你在哪里，你在哪里？”

“我就在廚房里。”我生氣地回答。“哦。”你輕聲嘆息，如釋重負地答道。

我今天吼你了。這次我在浴室里。

“你在哪里？帕特？帕特？”

你一遍又一遍地呼喊我。

“我在浴室里。”深知你聽力衰退，會聽不清我的回答，我用盡全力高聲喊道，鄰居們一定聽得很清楚。

我今天吼你了。你把蘋果汁倒在了意大利面上。天，真是一團糟。

I yelled at you today. You poured apple juice on top of your pasta. God, what a mess.

I yelled at you today. You spit out yourmedicine. You’d never done that before.

我今天吼你了。你把藥吐了出來。你以前從不會這樣做。

照顧阿爾茨海默病患者不是一件簡單的事，患者家屬必然會承受許多痛苦，有時甚至感到絕望。但無論如何，他們都會盡自己最大的努力，照顧那個被疾病折磨得面目全非的人，因為那是他們的家人，因為他們愛他/她。

I yelled at you today. You could see our car from the living room window and kept1)hinting for a ride. When I tried to explain that we had already been out, you looked at me as if I were trying to trick you. I hate it when you think I’m lying to you. Even though I know you can’t help it, I hate it.

I yelled at you today. I had just fnished dressing you for day care and left to answer the phone. When I got back, you had your nightgown back on and were wearing my oversized walking shoes. If that wasn’t enough, when we were fnally ready, as I zipped up your coat, you announced, “I have to pee.”

At last, we were almost out the door. I put your favorite red hat on you. As I pulled it down over your ears, you smiled. “Thank you, Mama,” you said and then instantly realized your mistake. You covered your mouth with your hand, your eyes wide with surprise. “That’s what’s happening, isn’t it?” you asked.

“Yes,” I answered. “And it’s okay, it’s okay,” I repeated, trying to2)reassure us both.

But if it’s okay, why can’t I simply take the time to tell you I’m leaving the room and I’ll be right back? Why yell when you make a mess at mealtime? I have to clean it up anyway. There are times when I can hardly get my own vitamins down; why do I always expect you to be able to swallow yours?

我今天吼你了。你從客廳的窗戶可以看到我們停在外面的車，并一直暗示想要坐車去兜風。我努力向你解釋我們已經出去過了，但你卻用那種眼神看著我，好像我在哄騙你似的。我討厭你覺得我在騙你。即便我知道你是身不由己，我還是討厭。

我今天吼你了。我才剛給你穿好去日間護理院的衣服，轉身接個電話，回來時就發現你又把睡衣穿上了，腳上還穿著我那雙過大的休閑鞋。更糟的是，當我們終于準備妥當，我正幫你拉上外套的拉鏈時，你宣布：“我想尿尿。”

終于，我們快要出門了。我幫你戴上你最愛的那頂紅色帽子。當我幫你把帽子拉到耳邊時，你笑著對我說：“謝謝你，媽媽。……