美國人的待客之道American Hospitality

An American friend has invited you to visit his family. You’ve never been to an American’s home before， and you’re not sure what to do. Should you take a gift？ How should you dress？ What time should you arrive？ What should you do when you get there？ Glad you asked. When you’re the guest， you should just make yourself at home. That’s what hospitality is aall about： making people feel at home when they’re not.

一位美國朋友邀請你去他家。你以前從未去過美國人的家，你不確定該怎么做。該帶上一份禮物嗎？怎么穿？幾點到？到了那里該做些什么？很高興你發問。你若是客人，只要使自己感到自在就好了。待客之道就是這樣：雖然不是在家里，卻讓客人有賓至如歸的感覺。

The question of whether or not to bring a gift often makes guests squirm. Giving your host a gift is not just a social nicety in some cultures—it’s expected. But in American culture， a guest is not obligated to bring a present. Of course， some people do bring a small token of appreciation to their host. Appropriate gifts for general occasions might be flowers， candy or—if the family has small children—toys. If you choose not to bring a gift， don’t worry. No one will even notice.

是否帶禮物的問題常使客人不安。在某些文化中，送主人禮物不只是社交禮節——還是必要的。但是在美國文化中，客人并不一定要帶禮物。當然，有些人的確會帶個表示感謝的小禮物給他們的主人。一般來說，花和糖果都是適宜的禮物，如果這家人有小孩，還可以送玩具。如果你不打算帶禮物，別擔心，甚至沒有人會注意到你是空手而來的。

American hospitality begins at home—especially when it involves food. Most Americans agree that good home cooking beats restaurant food any day. When invited for a meal， you might ask， “Can I bring anything？” Unless it’s a potluck， where everyone brings a dish， the host will probably respond， “No， just yourself.” For most informal dinners， you should wear comfortable， casual clothes. Plan to arrive on time， or else call to inform your hosts of the delay. During the dinner conversation， it’s customary to compliment the hostess on the wonderful meal. Of course， the biggest compliment is to eat lots of food！

美國人的殷勤好客是始于家中的——尤其是和食物有關時。大多數美國人都同意，無論何時，可口的家常菜都勝過餐館的菜。受邀吃飯時，你或許會問：“需要我帶些什么嗎？”除非是每人帶一道菜的聚餐，否則主人很可能會回答：“不用，你來就可以了。”大多數非正式的聚餐，你應該穿舒適、休閑的衣服。設法準時到，如果你會晚點到，打電話告訴主人。用餐時，習慣上人們會稱贊女主人烹調的美食。當然，最大的贊美是多吃！

When you’ve had plenty， you might offer to clear the table or wash the dishes. But since you’re the guest， your hosts may not let you. Instead， they may invite everyone to move to the living room for dessert with tea or coffee. After an hour or so of general chitchat， it’s probably time to head for the door. You don’t want to wear out your welcome. And above all， don’t go snooping around the house. It’s more polite to wait for the host to offer you a guided tour. But except for housewarmings， guests often don’t get past the living room.

當你吃得差不多時，可以主動表示幫忙清理桌子或洗碗盤，但由于你是客人，主人可能不會讓你這樣做。他們或許會邀請大家到客廳吃點心、喝茶或咖啡。聊個大約一小時就該離去了，你不想變得不受歡迎吧。最重要的是，不要在屋子里四處窺探。待主人邀請你后再參觀才比較禮貌。除了慶祝喬遷的喜宴外，客人通常都只待在客廳里。

Most Americans consider themselves hospitable people. Folks in the southern United States， in particular， take pride in entertaining guests. In fact， “southern hospitality” has become legendary. But in all parts of America， people welcome their guests with open arms. So don’t be surprised to find the welcome mat out for you. Just don’t forget to wipe your feet.

大多數美國人都認為自己是好客之人。尤其是美國的南方人更因款待客人而自豪。事實上，“南方的好客”是人們津津樂道的。不過在美國各地，人們都會張開雙臂歡迎他們的客人，所以當你發現為你準備的印有“WELCOME”字樣的門墊時，別驚訝，別忘了在墊子上把你的鞋蹭干凈就是了。

Americans usually like to have advance notice when people come to see them. Only very close friends drop by unannounced. This is especially true if the guests want to stay for a few days. Here’s a good rule of thumb for house guests： Short stays are best. As one 19th century French writer put it， “The first day a man is a guest， the second a burden， the third a pest.” Even relatives don’t usually stay for several weeks at a time. While you’re staying with an American family， try to keep your living area neat and tidy. Your host family will appreciate your consideration. And they may even invite you back！

美國人通常喜歡訪客事先通知他們，只有非常親密的朋友才可以不請自來，尤其當訪客要待好幾天時更是如此。最好不要久留——這是給訪客的經驗之談。如同十九世紀一位法國作家所寫的：“第一天是客人，第二天是負擔，第三天就是討厭鬼了。”即使是親戚通常也不會一次待上幾個星期。當你住在美國人家里時，盡力使你住的地方保持整潔。主人一家將會感謝你的體貼，他們甚至會再次邀請你！