向iPad妥協，還是教會孩子如何獨處？

李殊 安然

I recently watched my sister perform an act of magic.

We were sitting in a restaurant， trying to have a conversation， but her children， four-year-old Willow and seven-year-old Luca， would not stop fighting. The arguments—over a fork， or who had more water in a glass—were unrelenting2.

Like a magician quieting a group of children by pulling a rabbit out of a hat， my sister reached into her purse and produced two shiny Apple iPads， handing one to each child. Suddenly， the two were quiet. Eerily3 so. They sat playing games and watching videos， and we continued with our conversation.

After our meal， as we stuffed4 the iPads back into their magic storage bag， my sister felt slightly guilty.

“I dont want to give them the iPads at the dinner table， but if it keeps them occupied5 for an hour so we can eat in peace， and more importantly not disturb other people in the restaurant， I often just hand it over，” she told me. Then she asked： “Do you think its bad for them？ I do worry that it is setting them up to think its OK to use electronics at the dinner table in the future.”

I did not have an answer， and although some people might have opinions， no one has a true scientific understanding of what the future might hold for a generation raised on portable screens.6

“We really dont know the full neurological effects of these technologies yet，” said Dr. Gary Small， director of the Longevity Center at the University of California， Los Angeles， and author of iBrain： Surviving the Technological Alteration of the Modern Mind.7 “Children， like adults， vary quite a lot， and some are more sensitive than others to an abundance of8 screen time.”

But Dr. Small says we do know that the brain is highly sensitive to stimuli， like iPads and smartphone screens， and if people spend too much time with one technology， and less time interacting with people like parents at the dinner table， that could hinder the development of certain communications skills.9

So will a child who plays with crayons10 at dinner rather than a coloring application on an iPad be a more socialized person？

Ozlem Ayduk， an associate professor in the Relationships and Social Cognition Lab at the University of California，11 Berkeley， said children sitting at the dinner table with a print book or crayons were not as engaged with the people around them， either. “There are value-based lessons for children to talk to the people during a meal，” she said. “Its not so much about the iPad versus12 nonelectronics.”

Parents who have little choice but to hand over their iPad can at least control what a child does on those devices.

A report published last week by the Millennium Cohort Study， a long-term study group in Britain that has been following 19，000 children born in 2000 and 2001， found that those who watched more than three hours of television， videos or DVDs a day had a higher chance of conduct problems， emotional symptoms and relationship problems by the time they were seven than children who did not.13 The study， of a sample of 11，000 children， found that children who played video games—often age-appropriate games—for the same amount of time did not show any signs of negative behavioral changes by the same age.

Which brings us back to the dinner table with my niece and nephew？14 While they sat happily staring into those shiny screens， they were not engaged in any type of conversation， or staring off into space thinking， as my sister and I did as children when our parents were talking. And that is where the risks are apparent.

“Conversations with each other are the way children learn to have conversations with themselves， and learn how to be alone，” said Sherry Turkle， a professor of science， technology and society at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology15， and author of the book Alone Together： Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other. “Learning about solitude and being alone is the bedrock of early development， and you dont want your kids to miss out on that because youre pacifying them with a device.”16

Ms. Turkle has interviewed parents， teenagers and children about the use of gadgets during early development， and says she fears that children who do not learn real interactions， which often have flaws and imperfections， will come to know a world where perfect， shiny screens give them a false sense of intimacy without risk.17

And they need to be able to think independently of a device. “They need to be able to explore their imagination. To be able to gather themselves and know who they are. So someday they can form a relationship with another person without a panic of being alone，” she said. “If you dont teach your children to be alone， theyll only know how to be lonely.”

讓孩子們變得安靜是如此容易，我的姐姐從她包里拿出兩個又小又薄的iPad遞給她的兩個孩子，就像一個魔術師對著驚訝的小觀眾從帽子里掏出了小兔子。于是，我的兩個吵鬧不停的外甥都瞬間安靜下來。他們玩起游戲或看起視頻，而我們則得以繼續聊天。那么問題來了：這樣做對嗎？

1. tablet： 平板電腦。

2. unrelenting： 持續的，不停歇的。

3. eerily： 可怕地，怪異地。

4. stuff： 把……塞進。

5. occupied： 忙碌的。

6. 我并不知道答案。并且盡管一些人有著自己的看法，但是對于那些伴著移動設備成長起來的孩子們來說，他們的未來會如何，沒人能有一個準確而科學的認識。portable： 可移動的，便攜式的。

7. neurological： 神經系統的，神經學的；longevity： 長壽；alteration： 改變。

8. an abundance of： 豐富的，大量的。

9. stimuli： 刺激物，促進因素（stimulus的復數形式）； hinder： 阻止，妨礙。

10. crayon： 蠟筆。

11. associate professor： 副教授；social cognition： 社會認知。

12. versus： 與……相對。

13. millennium： 千禧年； cohort study： 世代研究，定群研究；conduct： n. 行為，舉止；symptom： 病癥，癥狀。

14. niece： 侄女，外甥女； nephew： 侄子，外甥。

15. Massachusetts Institute of Technology： 麻省理工大學，簡稱MIT。

16. solitude： 孤獨；bedrock： 基礎；miss out on： 錯失……的機會；pacify： 安撫，使平靜。

17. 特爾克女士采訪了許多父母、青少年和小孩子，詢問他們在早期發展時期對電子設備的使用，并且說她很擔心這些沒有學會真正交流的孩子——真正的交流通常是有缺陷和不完美的——他們開始了解到的是一個由完美的、屏幕閃閃發光的電子設備所創造的世界，這讓他們產生一種沒有任何風險的親密感假象。gadget： 小玩意兒；flaw： 缺陷；imperfection： 不完美，瑕疵。