我的座機情結

趙云舒 馬玉芳

不知道你是否曾有過這樣的經歷：一家人圍在一部電話旁，等待著遠方親人的消息；電話簿中記下班里那個女孩的電話號碼，忐忑撥通后發現接聽的卻不是她；買張電話卡沖進路邊的電話亭，撥下那串背得爛熟的號碼……這些曾是好幾代人的共同回憶。但在幾乎人手一部手機的今天，固定電話似乎成了家中的多余之物。

Weve had the same landline for almost 40 years， since before anyone called it a “landline，” and its hard to give it up. Our phone number would be floating out there in space somewhere， whimpering like a dog that got left behind.2 And we have a cool number. Its got two zeros in it， just like my childhood phone number， only without the stigma3. Nobody liked to dial zeros back in the 1950s， when we all had rotary phones4. It took too much work， and if you were in a hurry your finger might slip out of the little hole before you got it all the way around，5 and then youd have to start over. But by the time we got the landline， all you had to do was push a button.

Still， this phone is annoying. Theres hardly ever anybody on the other end of it anymore that I want to talk to. Instead its someone telling me theres nothing wrong with my credit card. Or someone who wants to know how old my roof is， or if Id like to take a short survey. Its nobody I know.

One of the reasons people say you should keep the landline is that the connection is better， and you might want it for certain conversations. Which just goes to show how much weve forgotten about what a real phone—one with a cord6—should sound like.

They sounded wonderful. When direct long-distance dialing first became available， my mom would call her brother in North Dakota， and theyd spend an exhilarating minute telling each other they sounded as if they were in the next room.7 Then theyd hang up8. And it was true. People did sound as though they were in the next room.

Thats because their voices didnt have to guess where they were going. They got to travel inside honest-to-goodness enclosed wires the whole way， completely out of the weather， and theyd come out all creamy on the receiving end.9 Nowadays your voice has to find its way through the air and bump into mosquitoes and hurricanes and such， and by the time it gets to your friends phone it sounds as though its coming from the bottom of a box of crackers.10

But its considered an improvement because we dont have to be tethered11 to a wall， even though that wouldnt be the worst idea for a lot of us.

Anyway， back then， if you heard a little crackle on your phone， youd call up The Phone Company and theyd send out some guy with his name stitched on his shirt to polish it up for you free of charge.12 The wires were all tucked away inside the house through one neatly caulked hole in the siding.13 Now the landline brings in crunchy noises， like the sound of squirrels chewing.14 You dont report it as long as you can still make out the conversation， because it will cost you a hundred bucks to have some repairman poke a hole inside your house.15 If you can keep him outside， hell haul out a bunch of new wire and staple it in careless loops to the side of your house like bunting.16 But it does sound marginally better than the cellphone， because theres no delay.17

These days， when my landline rings， its usually a complete stranger calling to ask me how I am today， so I try to just let it ring. But its hard. I spent formative18 decades racing to answer the phone because otherwise Id have no idea who was on the other end. I still feel the urge to jump up and answer at the cellular level.19

So its probably no use. Ill have to keep the phone. Its securely fastened to my past，20 and I dont want to lose one more thing.

1. dial up： 撥號；landline： 座機，固話。

2. float： 漂浮；whimper： 抽泣，嗚咽；leave behind： 丟下。

3. stigma： 恥辱，污名。

4. rotary phone： 轉盤電話。

5. slip out： 不知不覺地滑掉； get sth. all the way around： 完全解決，此處指撥完電話號碼。

6. cord： 此處指“電話線”。

7. North Dakota： 北達科他州，美國中北部一州；exhilarating： 令人歡欣的。

8. hang up： 掛斷（電話）。

9. 他們的聲音通過真正的密封線纜進行傳播，完全不受天氣的影響，然后從聽筒中柔和地傳出。honest-to-goodness： 真正的；enclosed： 被包住的；creamy： （聲音）柔和的；receiving end： 接收端。

10. 現在，你的聲音必須在空中傳播，中間會遇見蚊子、颶風等等，等它到達你朋友的手機之時，聽起來像是從餅干盒底部發出來的一樣。bump into： 偶然遇見；mosquito： 蚊子；hurricane： 颶風；cracker： 薄脆餅干。

11. tether： 用繩拴住，束縛。

12. 無論如何，在那個時候，如果你聽到你的電話有一絲雜音，你可以給電話公司打電話，他們會派一個穿著縫有自己名字的T恤的員工過來為你免費維修。crackle： 噼啪聲；stitch： 縫；polish up： 改進；free of charge： 免費。

13. tuck away： 把……放置在隱蔽的地方； neatly： 整齊地；caulked： 填塞的；siding： 壁板，墻板。

14. crunchy： 發出嘎吱嘎吱聲的；squirrel： 松鼠；chew： 咀嚼。

15. make out： 盡力做；buck： 美元；repairman： 修理工人；poke a hole inside sth...： 在某物上捅一個洞。

16. haul out： 拉出；a bunch of： 一束；staple： 用釘釘住或固定；loop：（用線、繩、帶等打成的）環；bunting： （裝飾用）彩旗。

17. marginally： 略微地；delay： 延遲。

18. formative： 形成的，發展的。

19. urge： 沖動；cellular： 移動電話的。

20. securely： 牢固地；fasten： 把……系在。