一條裙子

雷起風

I will be the first to say that I am not materialistic1）. My friends label me as a goody-goody2）； my parents say I am conservative and modest when it comes to clothes. I dont wear bikinis， and none of my skirts or shorts end above my knees. That is my choice.

So why， why did I feel so tempted？ My family and I were in Target3）， and there it was， waiting. A skirt， specifically designed not to cover anything. It was tan and looked like something one of those anime4） schoolgirls would wear.

I checked my purse. The skirt cost $10. I had the money. I could buy it. I imagined walking into school and my pals jaws dropping. Guys would ask me out， and I would be happy. I could buy it—no， I should buy it.

I showed my mother. She was surprised but said it was my decision. My sister looked on5） enviously.

I went into the dressing room to try it on. So sure was I that this skirt would change me， somehow make me not what I am but what I wished to be. I slid my jeans off and put it on. Now for the decisive moment. I looked in the mirror. There I was—a geeky6） girl in a Superman T-shirt and sneakers. My glasses fogged up as I started to cry.

The skirt did not change me. Though it fit well and might make me look good in the eyes of todays world， it was not me. I am not a girl who flirts7） or wears cool clothes to fit in.

I took the thing off and slid back into the comfort of modesty. My mom knocked on the door. "Emily， are you okay？"

I wiped away my tears. "Im fine." I looked in the mirror again and saw a blond skinny girl with dorky8） glasses and a ponytail. I saw myself.

我將是第一個說我自己不是物質主義者的人。我的朋友們給我貼上了假正經的標簽，我父母說我在穿衣方面比較保守和樸實。我不穿比基尼，也沒有一件裙子和短褲是高過膝蓋的。這是我的選擇。

那么為什么，為什么我感覺如此動心？我和我的家人在塔吉特百貨商場，而它就在那兒，靜靜地等待著。那是一條裙子，其設計獨特之處在于它什么也遮不住。它是棕褐色的，看上去像是日本動漫里的某個女學生穿的那種裙子。

我看了一下我的錢包。這條裙子售價十美元。我有這么多錢。我可以買下它。我想象穿著這條裙子走進學校，而我的小伙伴們驚得下巴都要掉下來的樣子。男生會約我出去，我會很開心。我可以買這條裙子——不，我應該買下它。

我拿給媽媽看。她很意外，但她說讓我自己決定。妹妹在一旁羨慕地看著。

我走進試衣間試穿裙子。我很肯定，這條裙子將改變我，會以某種方式讓我不再是現在的樣子，而是我希望成為的樣子。我脫下牛仔褲，穿上裙子。現在是做決定的時候了。我看著鏡子，那里面就是我——一個穿著超人T恤和運動鞋的土里土氣的女孩。我的眼鏡蒙上了一層霧氣，因為我哭了起來。

這條裙子并沒有改變我。雖然它很合身，還可能讓我在當今世人眼中看起來不錯，但這不是我。我不是那種為了跟別人合得來就賣俏或穿酷衣服的女孩。

我脫下裙子，重新穿上我那條樸實卻舒服的牛仔褲。媽媽敲了敲門：“埃米莉，你還好吧？”

我擦掉眼淚。“我很好。”我再一次看向鏡子，我看見了一個一頭金發的精瘦女孩，戴著過時的眼鏡，扎著一個馬尾辮。我看見了自己。