你的友誼是否失衡

文/Daniel Hoffman 譯/大黃de 繪/ 修介

你的友誼是否失衡

文/Daniel Hoffman 譯/大黃de 繪/ 修介

Do You GivE Too MucH iN FRiENDSHiP

友誼應該是雙向的，但有時其中一方只有付出。下面的問題會幫助你正視自己的友誼。（記得每個問題都給自己和朋友打分。）

How often do you

1.Invite her over for a sleepover，an event，or just to hang out：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend： Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

約她去你家過夜、搞活動，或只是一起出去玩玩？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

友誼應該是雙向的，但有時其中一方只有付出。下面的問題會幫助你正視自己的友誼。（記得每個問題都給自己和朋友打分。）

How often do you

1.Invite her over for a sleepover，an event，or just to hang out：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend： Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

約她去你家過夜、搞活動，或只是一起出去玩玩？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

2、Support her by attending her big event， like a volleyball game or dance competition：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

去給她打氣，只要她有重要活動，比如排球賽或舞蹈比賽？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

3.Stand for her when people aren't being nice.

1. never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

2、Support her by attending her big event， like a volleyball game or dance competition：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

去給她打氣，只要她有重要活動，比如排球賽或舞蹈比賽？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

3.Stand for her when people aren't being nice.

1. never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

在別人對她不友好時挺她？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是4.Help her through a tough time by listening and offering reassurance：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

l do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

在她有難處的時候幫助她安慰她？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

在別人對她不友好時挺她？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是4.Help her through a tough time by listening and offering reassurance：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

l do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

在她有難處的時候幫助她安慰她？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

5.Give her a meaningful present，whether it's her birthday or just for fun：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

送她表心意的禮物，不論是她的生日或者只是圖個開心？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

6.C o m p l i m e n t h e r n e w outfit，her intelligence，her haircut...anything：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

什么都夸她。新衣服啦，聰明啦，發型啦什么的？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

7.Keep your promises to her by not cancelling plans or bailing on her at the last minute：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

守信用。不會取消計劃或者臨時爽約？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

8.Guard her secrets as carefully as you guard your own.You're like a lockbox！

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

5.Give her a meaningful present，whether it's her birthday or just for fun：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

送她表心意的禮物，不論是她的生日或者只是圖個開心？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

6.C o m p l i m e n t h e r n e w outfit，her intelligence，her haircut...anything：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

什么都夸她。新衣服啦，聰明啦，發型啦什么的？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

7.Keep your promises to her by not cancelling plans or bailing on her at the last minute：

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

守信用。不會取消計劃或者臨時爽約？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

8.Guard her secrets as carefully as you guard your own.You're like a lockbox！

1.never 2.sometimes

3.often 4.always

I do this for my friend：Score：

My friend does this for me：Score：

像保守自己的秘密一樣保守她的秘密。像個加密保險箱？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

Add them up！算算總分吧！

Now subtract your friend's score from your score：（it could be a negative number！）

Total：

現在用你的得分減去朋友的得分（可能是負數哦！）：

總分：

Between+24 and+15 Points

Every friendship should be a two-way street，but this one is one way only-hers！ It's time to expect more from your friend. Have a heart-to-heart to let her know you're feeling neglected.

+24到+15之間

每份友誼都應該是雙向的，不過你們的關系的確是單向的——偏向她的！你應該從她那兒得到更多才對。和她坦誠地談談，讓她知道你覺得受到忽視。

Between+14 and+5 Points

You're letting your friend call most of the shots even though she might not deserve to. Tell her you need more—whether it's calls， encouragement or invites，whatever-so that you don't always end up disappointed.

+14到+5之間

你大多時候都在圍著朋友轉，即使她不一定值得你這么做。告訴她你有更多的需求，不管是電話、鼓勵、邀請，隨便什么都行，這樣你才不會總是落得失望。

Between+4 and-4 Points

You have the two-way street thing down！ You are both caring

像保守自己的秘密一樣保守她的秘密。像個加密保險箱？

1.從不 2.有時 3.經常 4.總是

Add them up！算算總分吧！

Now subtract your friend's score from your score：（it could be a negative number！）

Total：

現在用你的得分減去朋友的得分（可能是負數哦！）：

總分：

Between+24 and+15 Points

Every friendship should be a two-way street，but this one is one way only-hers！ It's time to expect more from your friend. Have a heart-to-heart to let her know you're feeling neglected.

+24到+15之間

每份友誼都應該是雙向的，不過你們的關系的確是單向的——偏向她的！你應該從她那兒得到更多才對。和她坦誠地談談，讓她知道你覺得受到忽視。

Between+14 and+5 Points

You're letting your friend call most of the shots even though she might not deserve to. Tell her you need more—whether it's calls， encouragement or invites，whatever-so that you don't always end up disappointed.

+14到+5之間

你大多時候都在圍著朋友轉，即使她不一定值得你這么做。告訴她你有更多的需求，不管是電話、鼓勵、邀請，隨便什么都行，這樣你才不會總是落得失望。

Between+4 and-4 Points

You have the two-way street thing down！ You are both caring

and cared for in this friendship，which is exactly how it should be. A balanced friendship like this is truly special.so keep working hard on this relationship， and it'll be one you'll treasure forever.

+4到-4之間

你們的友誼是雙向的哦！你們相互關心，這才是健康的友誼。像這樣和諧的友誼難能可貴，那就努力維持吧，你會永遠珍惜這份友情的。

Between-5 and-14 Points

Whether you mean to or not，you're letting your friend do more of the work in this friendship. Time to star t appreciating "her a bit more and making her feel treasured， too.

-5到-14之間

不管你是有意還是無意，你任憑朋友在友誼中付出更多。你得開始給她更多的關注了，讓她也覺得有人珍惜自己。

Between-15and-24 Points

Wake up call girlfriend：Your friend is doing most of the giving here！Just because she doesn't complain doesn't mean she hasn't noticed！ If you want this friendship to last， tell her you're going to make it up to her一 and then follow through.You can fix this friendship！

-15到-24之間

該醒醒了，美女，大多時候都是你的朋友在付出！她沒有抱怨并不代表她沒有意識到！如果還想維持這份友誼，告訴她你要補償她，只要持之以恒地去做，你會修復你們的友誼的！

and cared for in this friendship，which is exactly how it should be. A balanced friendship like this is truly special.so keep working hard on this relationship， and it'll be one you'll treasure forever.

+4到-4之間

你們的友誼是雙向的哦！你們相互關心，這才是健康的友誼。像這樣和諧的友誼難能可貴，那就努力維持吧，你會永遠珍惜這份友情的。

Between-5 and-14 Points

Whether you mean to or not，you're letting your friend do more of the work in this friendship. Time to star t appreciating "her a bit more and making her feel treasured， too.

-5到-14之間

不管你是有意還是無意，你任憑朋友在友誼中付出更多。你得開始給她更多的關注了，讓她也覺得有人珍惜自己。

Between-15and-24 Points

Wake up call girlfriend：Your friend is doing most of the giving here！Just because she doesn't complain doesn't mean she hasn't noticed！ If you want this friendship to last， tell her you're going to make it up to her一 and then follow through.You can fix this friendship！

-15到-24之間

該醒醒了，美女，大多時候都是你的朋友在付出！她沒有抱怨并不代表她沒有意識到！如果還想維持這份友誼，告訴她你要補償她，只要持之以恒地去做，你會修復你們的友誼的！