My Happy Family

My Happy Family

I live in a warm family.There are four people in my family:my grandmother,my parents and I.

My grandmother is 65 years old.She is in good healthy①.She does morning exercises in the park and buys fresh vegetables in the market every morning.

My father is a②engineer.He works very hard and always travel on business.But he often takes us to some interesting places to travel when he is free.We often enjoy ourselves.

My mother is a teacher in a university.She is very kind but strict with me.She is such③busy with her work that she always gets home late.After she comes back,I often share funny things in school with her to make her relaxing④.

I am a middle school student and I love reading.For me,study is a happy but challenging job.

East or west,home is best.I love my happy family.

江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學七（5）班張恒

【欄目要求】

1.將學生習作根據中考分值給出成績; 2.在應該修改的地方劃線并標注序號;

3.根據所標序號進行修改并說明修改的理由; 4.給學生習作點評〈優點與不足〉;

5.請點評名師提供簡歷一份，包括：學校、職務、職稱、榮譽、教研教學成果、照片一張。

投稿郵箱：zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com

來稿請寄：430079華中師范大學外國語學院《中學生英語》雜志社 收

本期點評名師

陳傳光男，中學一級教師、江蘇省教育學會會員、連云港市優秀教育園丁、贛榆縣優秀班主任；任教于江蘇省贛榆縣羅陽中學，從事教育教學工作已逾12年；有多篇論文在各雜志期刊上發表并獲獎；曾獲全國中學生新課程英語語言能力競賽優秀輔導教師一等獎。

1.優點：

在本文中，張恒同學向我們一一介紹了奶奶、爸爸、媽媽和自己的職業及生活習慣。小作者最后通過一句諺語收尾，升華了主題。透過小作者的文字，我們也仿佛感受到了這個家庭的溫暖。文章語言流暢、結構清晰，是一篇優秀的學生習作。

2.需要修改的地方：

①healthy改為health。health是名詞，意為“健康”，形容詞good修飾名詞health。

②a改為an。engineer首字母發元音/e/。

③such改為so。通常情況下such后接名詞，so后接形容詞或副詞。

④relaxing改為relaxed。relaxing形容物，意為“使人放松的”，relaxed形容人，意為“放松的”。

3.評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標準，本文修改前可得17分。