通往快樂的鋼琴鍵

By+Mehar+Soni

掃碼聽音頻

Exams never made me break out in a nervous sweat with tears threatening to ruin my already-trembling fa?ade1）—but this one did. Even booking my piano exam reduced2） me to ablubbering3） mess of anxiety.

I feel permanently scarred4） inside churches—no longer admiring their beauty because， over the years， I have received such terrible marks from examiners hiding behind thestained-glass5） partitions6）. Despite being 15—too old， too cool to be frightened—I remember trembling inside the bathroom stalls7） before my tests. I wished I never had to play in front of others.

But this time， after booking my Level 8 Royal Conservatory of Music piano exam， I went back to my normal routine. A little practice here， a little practice there.

And then it happened.

My trusty， 10-year-old electric piano gave out8）. Middle C started to sound like an F-sharp and all other keys sounded like they were a fourth above their natural tone. Thankfully， my precious， boredom-saving buttons still worked. I could still change my piano's settings from "piano" to "harpsichord9）." I admit， it was a lot of fun banging on my wacky10） keys. Each note boinged11） like the sound on children's TV shows when a character repeatedly runs into a wall.

Goofiness12） aside， I had to get my act together13）. I hated practising but I really wanted a good mark. When I told my father what had happened to my piano， he only glared at me with disappointment， "When I was your age， I learned to be resourceful14）."

Hmm. I had a broken piano， an exam coming up in a few months and a father who refused to buy me a new piano because he wanted to teach me a "life lesson". I finally came upon a decision： I'd practise at school.

Going to a private school had to have its benefits， so I looked for a place to play. The school had many pianos but only a few in tune. Within a few days of searching， my piano books， my artistic best friend and I headed off to15） a music room at every available opportunity. I loved finding new pianos in hidden corners of the school and I laughed at the dusty old historic pianos. They really had character.

I spent hours in those music rooms while my friend honed16） her art skills in sketching and drawing. She suffered through my annoying， repetitive scales17） while I looked over my shoulder once in a while and admired18） her work. Not only did I become a better musician， but I also managed to gain a few subpar19） skills as an art critic.endprint

As my exam drew close， all the music teachers knew to look for me in the piano rooms during recess， after school and late on Fridays. In anticipation of my assessment， one of my music teachers let me perform for her as a mini practice exam. To my surprise， she was greatly impressed.

Within a few months I went from not caring about my playing to feeling actually， maybe， kind of proud of my work.

And over countless hours spent in my favourite， soundproof music room， I discovered that behind the piano， I could become anyone. Talking to other people never came easy to me， but I was able to express myself through music. I became overjoyed. It was like I had developed a sixth sense， one that only musicians could understand.

When I played， my worries about what others thought of me and how I viewed myself merged to reveal who I really am. All my adolescent musings20） made me feel like I was in a cage， but music gave me the key. Sitting behind a piano and creating music combined the movement of my body and the inner workings of my heart.

Music had never been the love of my life but that was changing. I loved the idea of being on a stage and creating something for others to enjoy and remember. Actually， it wasn't a something， but rather a feeling that the audience would carry outside into a world where music wasn't the only thing that people cared for.

When the time came to play in front of an examiner， instead of fearing my judge， I feared nothing but being unable to represent all my hard work. All the anxiety I had about going up on stage dimmed， and when the lights went on， all I could think about was the marvellous journey I'd had to get here. Trilling21） the keys reminded me of when I'd spent nearly two hours alone in a music room， more content than I had been anywhere else. Playing the melody reminded me of the bittersweet music experiences of past years.

Many days later， I received my mark. Not only did I earn a rarely mentioned "well done" and an 82， I had rewritten what music meant to me.

Now whenever I get caught up in the daily struggle， I remember the hard work that it took to reach my goal. Whenever I feel discouraged， I never forget to look at the gleaming keys of my new upright piano. As my father always says， some lessons are just learned the hard way.

有些恐懼，需要刻苦練習才能打敗。有些收獲，需要辛苦付出才能得到?？嚯y是一筆財富，努力的過程又何嘗不是？

考試從未令我突然陷入這樣的緊張境地：汗水和淚水齊流，試圖摧毀我早已搖搖欲墜的虛假表象。但這場考試做到了。甚至連報名鋼琴考試這件事都讓我焦慮得想號啕大哭。endprint

我在教堂里的經歷給我留下了永久的精神創傷，我不再仰慕教堂的美麗，因為多年以來，我從躲在彩繪玻璃隔板后面的那些考官那里得來的分數實在太糟糕。盡管我現在已經15歲了，長大了也變酷了，不會被他們嚇到了，可我卻仍舊記得過去在考試前藏到衛生間隔間里瑟瑟發抖的情形。我希望自己永遠不用被迫在別人面前彈琴。

但是這次，在報完皇家音樂學院鋼琴8級考試以后，我又回歸了正常的練琴節奏。練練這段，練練那段。

然后出事了。

我那忠實可靠、已有十歲高齡的電子琴出問題了。中央C音開始聽起來像升F調，其他琴鍵都聽起來比原調高1/4度。謝天謝地，我那些幫我解悶的寶貝按鈕還能正常使用。我仍舊能把我的鋼琴模式從“鋼琴”調成“大鍵琴”。我承認，敲著我那些聽起來滑稽可笑的琴鍵真是太有趣了。每個音符都波嚶波嚶地響著，聽起來就像少兒電視節目里的主人公不斷撞墻的聲音。

撇開這些蠢事，我還是得按部就班地練琴。我討厭練習，但是我真的想得一個好分數。當我告訴爸爸鋼琴出了毛病時，他只是失望地瞪著我：“我像你這么大時，就學著靈活處理問題了。”

嗯，我有一架壞了的鋼琴，一場幾個月后即將到來的考試，還有一個因為想教會我某種“人生道理”而拒絕給我買新鋼琴的老爹。最后我做出了一個決定：我要在學校練琴。

上一所私立學?？偟糜衅浜锰?，所以我就去尋找練琴的地方。這所學校有很多鋼琴，但是只有幾架是音調準確的。在幾天的尋找過程中，我帶著鋼琴書，和我最好的藝術伙伴一起抓住每個能抓到的機會前往音樂教室。我喜歡在學校的隱蔽角落里發現新鋼琴的那種感覺，我笑對那些布滿灰塵的、陳舊的、充滿歷史感的鋼琴。它們真的很有個性。

我在那些音樂教室里練上幾個小時，而我的朋友則在一旁精進她的素描和繪畫技巧。她忍受著我重復不停的擾人音階，而我則會偶爾扭過頭去，欣賞她的作品。我不僅彈鋼琴的水平有所長進，而且還設法學到了那么點不太夠格的藝術評論技巧。

隨著我的考試日益臨近，所有的音樂老師都知道在課間休息時、放學后或周五晚些時候能在琴房找到我。為了準備考試，我的一位音樂老師讓我給她彈奏一曲，就當是小型模考。令我驚訝的是，她被我的演奏深深地打動了。

在幾個月的時間里，我從對演奏漠不關心，變得真的（或許是真的吧）有點兒為自己的演奏感到驕傲了。

通過在我最喜歡的隔音音樂教室里度過的那些數不清的時間，我發現了坐在鋼琴后面，我可以變成任何人。和別人聊天對我來說從來不是一件容易的事，但是我能夠通過音樂表達自己。我變得喜出望外。這就好像我已經練出了第六感，一種只有音樂家才能懂的感覺。

當我演奏的時候，我對他人如何看我以及我如何看待自己的那些焦慮交織在一起，讓我看到真實的自己。我所有青春期的沉思讓我感覺自己身困牢籠之中，但是音樂給了我打開那牢籠的鑰匙。坐在一架鋼琴后面創造音樂這件事將我身體的動作和內心的活動融合在了一起。

以前音樂從來不是我生命中的摯愛，但這一點正在轉變。我喜歡這樣想：坐在舞臺上并為別人創造出某種可以享受和銘記的東西。事實上，我創造出的不是某種東西，而是一種感覺，聽眾們會帶著這種感覺走出去，進入一個世界，在那里，音樂并不是人們唯一關心的事。

當在考官面前彈奏的時刻終于到來時，我不再害怕評委，只害怕自己無法展示過往的所有努力。我以前有過的所有對上臺演奏的焦慮都變得模糊暗淡了，當燈光亮起時，我滿腦子想的都是這一路走來的奇妙旅程。琴鍵觸發的顫音讓我想起我曾經獨自在一個音樂教室里度過了近兩個小時，我在那里比待在其他任何地方都要心滿意足。而彈奏旋律也讓我想起過去幾年中苦樂參半的音樂經歷。

好幾天以后，我收到了自己的成績單。我不僅得到了一個少有的“很棒”以及一個82分的成績，還重寫了音樂對我的意義。

現在，每當陷入日常困擾，我就會記起自己為達到那個目標所做過的努力。每當感到灰心氣餒，我總會記得看看我嶄新的立式鋼琴那熠熠生輝的琴鍵。正如爸爸常說的，有些人生道理得來真的不易。

1. fa?ade [f??sɑ?d] n. （虛假的）外觀，外表；假象

2. reduce [r??dju?s] vt. 使淪為，使陷入（不好的境地）

3. blubber [?bl?b?（r）] vi. 哭鬧；號啕大哭

4. scar [skɑ?（r）] vt. 給……留下精神創傷

5. stained-glass： （多指教堂所用的）彩繪玻璃

6. partition [pɑ??t??n] n. 隔墻；隔板

7. stall [st??l] n. （淋浴間等房間里的）小隔間

8. give out： 壞掉；失靈；垮掉

9. harpsichord [?hɑ?ps?k??d] n. 撥弦古鋼琴；大鍵琴

10. wacky [?w?ki] adj. 古怪的；乖僻的；滑稽可笑的

11. boing [?b????] vt. 發出波嚶聲

12. goofiness [?ɡu?fin?s] n. 蠢事

13. get one's act together： 使條理起來

14. resourceful [r??s??sfl] adj. 足智多謀的

15. head off to： 前往

16. hone [h??n] vt. 磨煉（技能）

17. scale [ske?l] n. 音階

18. admire [?d?ma??（r）] vt. 欣賞；觀賞

19. subpar [?s?b?pɑ?（r）] adj. 低于平均標準的

Beautiful English

美麗英文

20. muse [mju?z] vi. 沉思，默想，冥想

21. trill [tr?l] vt. 使發出顫音

1. inexplicably [??n?k?spl?k?bli] adv. 無法說明地；難以言表地

2. intertwine [??nt??twa?n] vt. 使纏繞在一起

3. new-mown： 剛剛割過草的

4. clothespin [?kl???zp?n] n. 晾衣用的衣夾

5. tansy ['t?nz?] n. 【植】艾菊

6. seep [si?p] vi. 滲透；漸漸消失

7. banter [?b?nt?（r）] n. （善意的）取笑；玩笑

8. sentimental [?sent??mentl] adj. 多情的；感傷的endprint