Primary Education in China ： the Confession of a Mother（Based on the interview of Jing Y.）

裴若然

Abstract：An interesting interview introduces the competitive situation of primary education in China from a housewife's perspecitve.

Key words：primary education； China；parents；children

中圖分類號：G629.2 文獻標識碼：A 文章編號：1005-5312（2017）35-0247-02

It was an ordinary sunny weekend in the middle of November 2014. In a city called Canton， somewhere in the south of China， Jing got up early as usual at 7：00am. After cooking breakfast， Jing inserted a CD of classical music into the player then woke up her 7-year-old daughter， Kitty. Kitty had a concentrated study schedule to make up her Sunday – Writing class from 8：00am to 10：00am， painting class from 10：40am to 12：10am， music theory class from 1：30pm to 3：30pm， with an additional English class from 7：00pm to 9：00pm.

Kitty is a well-behaved kid who gets along quite well with the other children in her primary school. Now shes spending her spare time taking some extra classes after school such as math， English， painting， dancing， and writing. In addition to those courses， Kitty is going to learn piano next spring. The first thing Kitty does everyday after school is her homework. During the holidays， Jing will take Kitty out for some sightseeing. But if Kitty does not finish her homework in time， Jing will cancel all the reservations. Jing said， “For a student， you should realize studying is the most important thing to your daily schedule； its your responsibility to be hard-working. And its good for children to explore their interests and potential by studying. Once you decide to take part in the extra learning class， you must stick with it. Quitting is never allowed in my family.”

Kitty spends over 5 hours every weekday in her school. She loves Thursday because it is the “homework-free” day， a treat set by the headmaster. Jing didn't arrange any of Kittys extra classes on Thursday in order to create a care-free day for her daughter. When Thursday came， Kitty always had tons of fun with her friends， playing hide-and-seek around her apartment or doing some co-ed play at home. Jing cooks dinner for her family everyday and after that she checks Kittys homework. If something needs correction， Jing would point it out to Kitty then let her do the revision by herself. Before going to bed， Kitty listens to some children songs or short stories in English， which were downloaded by Jing.

On Wednesday night， Kitty has Chinese calligraphy class； she also has ballet training class on Thursday night and Chinese speaking class on Friday night. “If theres going to be some great events out there during the weekends， I have to ask for the permission to take a day off for my daughter and take her to enjoy them. Courses are able to be rearranged but the event only exists once. There are a lot of kids in Kittys school who are learning even more than her. I wont give her too much pressure， I wont push her to be the straight-A-student in her classes， but I do wish she could discover her potential through these extra courses. After all， shes just on her second year of school； she still has so much time. What happens when shes an upperclass student？ She might get more courses and spend more time studying at school instead of taking other extra classes like now， or maybe she could at least take one. Living in China where people evaluate a students diligence and talent only by the grade-ranking-system， we have no idea of making a change but only trying to fit ourselves in as well as making a self-improvement.”endprint

Jing is with her daughter all the time. Parents are allowed to stay with their children for some evening classes such as math and English， and Jing has never been absent once. She said， “Its not that easy to make a good choice for my daughter sometimes due to too many extra education agencies here. Id always take Kitty to different agencies with a good reputation and then make a list to compare them one by one in order to pick up the best for her.”

Growing up in a traditional Chinese family seems so cruel by putting so much pressure on a primary school student like Kitty. But in fact， from Jings point of view， being a parent is more stressful. I asked Jing about her job since she spent so much time taking care of her daughter. After a short silence， Jing answered， “I don't have one. Many Chinese parents who have a full-time job would leave the kids to their parents. Its so common that children were raised up by their grandparents nowadays. But I didn't do that. Id be so worried if I couldn't accompany my own child. Thats why I chose to be a housewife. To children， I think the best time for parents to be with them is before their 10th birthday. My family is my life. Its great to earn money but if I ever miss the time accompanying Kitty， its impossible to buy that precious time back with money. When Kitty goes to junior high， maybe Id consider to restart working. Its worth making a self-sacrifice for my child now because no one can replace the companion of parents.” Jing also told me that almost half of Kittys classmates mothers were housewives as well.

“Do you only have one child？” I started to feel curious about the structure of Jings family. “Yes. Unless both of the couples are the ‘single-child in their own original families， they can have a chance to get a second kid. Im not， my husband neither. Besides， he works for a state-owned company， which means he cant have more than one child according to the policy. If he ever breaks the rule， he will lose his job. Since my husband is the only economic source of my family， I can't imagine if hes unemployed. Our situation would be better if he was a businessman.”

“Sounds like theres a big expense in your family is spending on your daughter？” I asked. “Well， you could say so. For a year， it takes more than 1，200 USD for music theory class and writing class separately， for English class its like 2，200 USD， 2，300 USD for dance class and 1，000 USD for math.” Later I found some lastest data while I was reading the newspaper named Daily Canton， the average of personal monthly income in Canton is below 1，000 USD after tax.endprint

Many friends of Jings who have immigrated to other countries told Jing that it was more relaxing for children to grow up outside China. But Jing insists that for Chinese people， the best time to receive Chinese culture awareness education should be at primary school. “As a Chinese， you would never be able to escape from your own culture which was connected to your entire life since the moment you came to this world. Even if you no longer live in China someday， youre still Chinese. If you don't have a clear understanding of Chinese culture， you probably will suffer a confusing life — you have neither a deep communication with the Chinese culture nor an acceptance by the western mainstream culture. Theres a friend of mine who has immigrated to Canada and she has two daughters. The elder one， A， already started working while the younger one， B， is still in primary school. When they immigrated to Canada， A just celebrated her 9th birthday and since then A came back China to visit relatives once a year. After A got a job， she traveled even less. Every time A came back to China， she felt she knew nothing about whats going on there， and even worse， she thought shes not a real Canadian at the same time. Feeling regretful， A suggested to her mother to she send her sister B back to China to receive her primary education. My friend agreed with A and she went back China with her younger daughter， which seemed very insightful，” Jing added， “We cant forget who we are. Before Kitty goes to senior high， I still want her to receive education in China.”

Jing often keeps in touch with other parents， and attends the meetings and lectures held by some education experts. All the Chinese parents are so strict to their children with a very high expectation. But deep inside their hearts， they always think that their kids are the best. Many of them behave like a totally different person when theyre talking about their own children to the others （without their childrens presence， of course）. Every part of the soul inside them is filled with pride and joy.

“No one will love you like your parents.” This is what Ive learned from Jing. But will little Kitty really understand？endprint