場景描寫在讀后續寫中的運用

【摘要】繼《浙江省深化高校考試招生制度綜合改革試點方案》正式出臺后，2016年10月迎來了首次新高考。其試題與往屆最大區別在于出現了新的寫作題型——讀后續寫。寫作，不再是純粹的寫，而是需要把讀和寫結合，要求學生在讀后理解的基礎上再進行構思表達，使故事完整;不再是簡單地翻譯題目要求，使用若干銜接詞，運用高級詞匯句式，而是更注重語篇的連貫性，情節的合理性及語言的豐富性。其中，場景描寫是故事續寫的重點之一。如何達到這樣的要求是一線英語教師們正在努力和積極探索的。而本篇文章以首次新高考寫作試題為載體，旨在指導學生運用場景描寫來提高寫作表達能力。

【關鍵詞】場景描寫;讀后續寫;高考試題;動態場景;靜態場景

【作者簡介】金琳，浙江省寧波市鄞州高級中學。

一、了解場景描寫常見類型

1.動態場景和靜態場景。動態場景有描寫聲音的（例1），也有描寫動作的（例2）。

例1：Somewhere， a branch snapped， an owl hooted. The wind， soft and cold， clicked through tree branches， from below， the faint sound of water tumbling through the valley.

例2：I climbed the fence and jumped onto the muddy field a few feet away from my house and started running towards the bus stop at top speed.

而靜態場景多以描寫靜物為主，如客觀物件，自然景觀，靜態環境（例3）。

例3：The house was very old and shabby， and its owner was hardly ever seen to come out.

2.社會場景和自然場景。社會場景包括生活、工作、家庭、活動等各種非自然場景。如：At least two dozen kites already hung in the sky， like paper sharks roaming for prey. Within an hour， the number doubled， the red， blue， and yellow kites glided and spun in the sky.

而所謂的自然場景就是對自然環境的描寫。如：By three oclock， the rain had stopped and the sky was a curdled gray burdened with lumps of clouds. A cool breeze blew through the park.

二、2016年十月高考試題原材料場景描寫分析

One weekend in July， Jane and her husband， Tom， had driven three hours to camp overnight by a lake in the forest. Unfortunately， on the way an unpleasant subject came up and they started to quarrel. By the time they reached the lake， Jane was so angry that she said to Tom. “Im going to find a better spot for us to camp” and walked away. （動作場景：驅車、吵架、生氣。）

With no path to follow， Jane just walked on for quite a long time. After she had climbed to a high place， she turned around， hoping to see the lake. To her surprise， she saw nothing but forest and， far beyond， a snowcapped mountain top. She suddenly realized that she was lost. （自然場景：無路可走，一片森林，遠處的雪山;動作場景：爬上高地，回頭，看。）

Jane rose at the break of day， hungry and thirsty. She could hear water trickling （滴落） somewhere at a distance. Quickly she followed the sound to a stream. To her great joy， she also saw some berry bushes. She drank and ate a few berries. Never in her life had she tasted anything better. Feeling stronger now， Jane began to walk along the stream and hope it would lead her to the lake. （社會場景：起床，又餓又渴;動態場景：水聲，跟隨，看到，喝，吃，繼續走。）

所給段首：

Paragraph 1： But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again.

Paragraph 2： It was day break when Jane woke up.

三、場景描寫的作用

通過閱讀原材料及對原材料場景描寫的分析，我們可以發現，在故事敘述中添加場景描寫不僅能有助于鎖定故事發生的地點，了解該地點現場情況，還能渲染故事氛圍，增添畫面感，產生呼應并烘托人物心理活動的積極作用。

我們可以對比下面兩份學生習作來更好地感受一下：

學生習作1：Jane felt hungry. She kept walking in the woods and couldnt find the lake or the stream. “Tom， help！” Jane shouted though she knew it is helpless.

學生習作2：Deep in the woods， Jane could only hear the sound of wind. Everywhere are high trees over 20 meters. No light. No Tom. Feeling hopeless and uneasy， she sat down on the edge of a huge rock and cried.

診斷：兩段文字均描寫了Jane在森林里的情況，但習作2相比較1而言，加入了許多引人入勝的場景描述。這些語句形象地描述了當時森林漆黑一片的場景，烘托出Jane極其孤單、害怕無助的心理，增添了故事的真實性，讓讀者有強烈的畫面感，仿佛親臨其境。

四、如何開展場景描寫

1.一正一反兩相宜。寫作中，無論大家想描述什么樣的場景，我們都可以從正反兩個角度去構思，正面直接描寫，反面對比襯托。我們來看第一組正面直接描寫的例子：

例4：Deep in the woods， Jane could only hear the sound of wind. Everywhere are high trees over 20 meters. No light. No Tom. Feeling hopeless and uneasy， she sat down on the edge of a huge rock and cried.

例4中 “Deep in the woods， everywhere are high trees. No light， no Tom.”（樹林深處，叢林密布，沒有燈光，沒有Tom）這樣對自然環境直接的描述有效烘托了Jane非常hopeless， uneasy的心理。

反面對比襯托我們來看第二組例子：

例5：My kids and I were excitedly heading into the supermarket over the weekend. On the way， we spotted a man holding a piece of paper that said， “Lost my job. Family to feed.”

例5中對比“My kids and I were excitedly heading into the market”和某人“Lost my job. Family to feed”兩種完全相反的處境，形象襯托出了 “The man is in great need of help”的情況，為下文主人公和孩子們伸出援助之手做了很好的鋪墊。

2. 突出細節活劇情。借助正反兩種方法的同時，我們在進行場景渲染時，還可以適當突出一些細節來使情節更加活潑生動。請大家看下面這個場景：

Dario和媽媽很喜歡他們的新公寓。客廳足夠大容下他們的鋼琴。那一晚他們倆彈了一曲來慶祝搬了新家。

比較下面兩種描寫：

①Dario and his mother loved their new apartment. The living room was large enough for their piano. That night， they played a song to celebrate their new home.

②Dario and his mother loved their new apartment. The living room was large enough for their piano. That night， the two of them sat side by side at the piano. They played jazz music to celebrate their new home. The beautiful music filled the room and made them feel very happy.

很明顯，第二個描寫加入了許多引人入勝的細節，這些細節的添加使故事內容更加飽滿，故事環境容易使讀者產生共鳴，同時，也使故事角色更加真實形象。

3. 修飾性詞語巧妙用。從上一點，我們可以看到許多細節的加入使故事情節變得更加活潑生動。其實，除此之外，我們還可以靈活使用一些簡單的形容詞、副詞，使描寫的對象形象化，發生的動作清晰化。這也是實際寫作時許多同學忽略的好辦法。請看10月高考試題學生寫的例子：With the time going by， Jane woke up.

想象一下當時的場景，我們可以加入一些簡單的形容詞副詞，突出人物當時的所處的環境和心理。再看修改后的這個例子：With time going by， Jane woke up， hungry and thirsty.

五、結語

場景描寫是故事敘述中非常重要的手段。合適的場景描寫，有利于鋪墊出合理的續寫情節，既能豐富文章的語言和內容，深化故事的脈絡，又能喚起讀者的共鳴，使閱讀者有身臨其境的感覺。場景描寫的方法很多，不論是借助正反角度，關注故事各種細節，還是靈活運用修飾性詞語，在讀后續寫中都具有很強的操作性。

參考文獻：

[1]Pickering M J & Garrod S.Toward a mechanistic psychology of dialogue[J].Behavioral and Brain Sciences，2004（27）：169-226.

[2]姜琳，陳錦.讀后續寫對英語寫作語言準確性、復雜性和流利性發展的影響[J].現代外語，2015（3）：366-375.