2019年6月大學英語四級作文試題評析

賈從永

（一）

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write a news report to your campus newspaper on a visit to a Hope elementary school organized by your Student Union. You should write at least 120 words but no more than180 words.

本次大學英語四級考試的作文試題要求考生為校報寫一篇新聞，內容是一次由學生會組織的參觀希望小學的活動。這是自1987年開始大學英語四、六級考試以來第一次考查英語新聞的寫作，不少考生感到束手無策。其實考生對英語新聞的文體特點都是有所了解的，完全可以依葫蘆畫瓢寫出這篇新聞報道。

一篇英語新聞一般由四個部分構成：標題、署名、導語和主體。新聞標題講究短小精悍、言簡意賅，為此常常省去虛詞。此外，英語新聞的標題一般用現在時表示一個過去的事實，以凸顯新聞的時效性。因此，本題中的新聞標題可以寫Shanghai University Students Visit Hope Primary School。

標題之后是記者的署名，我們不妨假設記者叫李明（Li Ming）。

署名之后是導語。導語是新聞的起始部分。

最后是新聞的主體，按一定順序交代其他新聞事實。

新聞的敘事方式與一般的記敘文有很大不同。從結構上說，英語新聞一般采用倒金字塔結構。這種結構產生于美國獨立戰爭時期，由美聯社記者率先使用。為了在激烈的新聞競爭搶先發稿，記者們在長期的實踐中形成了這種獨特的寫作規范。其特點是新聞的第一段（即導語）用簡練的語言把最有新聞價值的事實表達出來，讓讀者看完這段文字之后就能獲悉新聞的主要內容。因此，新聞的首段一般包含五個W（who， what， where， when， why）和一個H（how）中最重要的因素。接下來，記者按照重要性遞減的順序依次交代其他新聞事實。一般來說，按照倒金字塔結構寫出的英語新聞沒有結尾，止其當所止，即事實交代清楚了，新聞也就自然結束了。這種結構的優點顯而易見：第一，方便記者寫作;第二，方便編輯改稿;第三，方便讀者閱讀。所以它一經產生便風靡西方新聞界，一百多年來一直被奉為新聞寫作的圭臬。

我們寫這篇英語新聞，最好也采用倒金字塔結構，在導語里告訴讀者最重要的新聞事實：上海大學的學生參觀一所希望小學。新聞報道講究具體，因此我們不妨假設這所小學叫紅星希望小學，位于江西省吉安縣的一個貧困地區。在導語之后，依次交代其他新聞事實，譬如這所小學的概況、校長帶領參觀者參觀校園、參觀者向該校學生捐贈書包和文具等。

此外，英語新聞的行文風格也迥然不同于專著文章。為了增加易讀性（readability），英語新聞段落短小精悍，一般一句一段，一段只說一層意思。下面請看參考范文：

Shanghai University Students Visit Hope Primary School

By Li Ming

Fifteen students of Shanghai University visited a Hope elementary school in a poverty-stricken area of Jian County， Jiangxi Province on June 5.

Hongxing Hope Elementary school， which serves 59 students from three villages in the vicinity， is a two-storied building with a floor area of 1073 square meters.

Jiang Lei， headmaster of the school， showed the visitors around the campus and briefed them about the school.

“Most of the pupils here are left-behind children whose parents work in coastal cities far away from home，” Jiang said. “So the majority of them are boarders.”

Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union of Shanghai University who organized the event， donated books， schoolbags and stationery to the pupils on behalf of the visitors.

“Im very grateful to the older brothers and sisters from Shanghai University，” said Jiang Yingying， a two-grader， holding a new schoolbag. “I will study harder in return for their kindness.” （172 words）

語言亮點借鑒：

1. Hongxing Hope Elementary School， which serves 59 students from three villages in the vicinity， is a two-storied building with a floor area of 1073 square meters. 紅星希望小學是一座兩層的建筑，建筑面積1073平方米。該校有59名學生，來自附近的三個村莊。in the vicinity 附近。

2. Jiang Lei， headmaster of the school， showed the visitors around the campus and briefed them about the school. 這所小學的校長姜磊帶領參觀者看了校園并向他們簡要介紹了這所小學。brief sb about sth 向某人介紹某事物。

3. “Most of the pupils here are left-behind children whose parents work in coastal cities far away from home，” Jiang said. “So the majority of them are boarders.” 姜磊說：“這所學校的大部分學生都是留守兒童，他們的父母遠離家鄉在沿海城市打工，所以大部分學生住校。”left-behind children 留守兒童。boarder 住宿生。

4. “Im very grateful to the older brothers and sisters from Shanghai University，” said Jiang Yingying， a two-grader， holding a new schoolbag. 二年級學生姜瑩瑩拿著一個新書包說：“我非常感謝來自上海大學的大哥哥和大姐姐們。”holding a new schoolbag是現在分詞短語做狀語，表示伴隨動作。

（二）

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write a news report to your campus newspaper on a visit to a local farm organized by your Student Union. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

本題要求考生為校報寫一篇新聞，內容是一次由學生會組織的參觀當地農場的活動。就本題而言，由于題中新聞是接近于旅游特寫的軟新聞，我們不妨把導語寫得“軟”一點兒，從描述農場的景色入手，開篇就把讀者帶到綿延起伏、鮮花盛開、綠意蔥蘢、溪水潺潺的農場上。主體部分可以依次介紹大學生參觀農場的各種活動，最后引用新聞當事人的話，以揭示這次參觀的意義。下面請看參考范文：

Shanghai University Students Visit Local Farm

By Li Ming

Rolling pastures， blooming flowers， lush woodlands and gurgling streams came into sight when 25 students of Shanghai University arrived at Hongxing Farm on June 5， which is a three-hour drive from Shanghai.

The students busied themselves picking strawberries， feeding the livestock， milking the cow or collecting eggs as soon as they arrived at the farm.

After a picnic lunch， some canoed on the lake， some pedaled around on loaner bikes， and some lounged in a hammock in the shade.

“What a cool experience it is living close to the natural world，” exclaimed Li Min， a sophomore majoring in mathematics， cuddling a baby goat.

“This is a rare opportunity for college students to see what its really like to work on a farm，” said Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union， who organized the event， adding that its easy to romanticize farm life， but in fact its pretty hard. （167 words）

語言亮點借鑒：

1. Rolling pastures， blooming flowers， lush woodlands and gurgling streams came into sight when 25 students of Shanghai University arrived at Hongxing Farm on June 5， which is a three-hour drive from Shanghai. 6月5日，當25名上海大學的學生來到紅星農場時，起伏的牧場、盛開的鮮花、茂盛的樹林和汩汩流淌的小溪映入眼簾。該農場距離上海三個小時的車程。come into sight 映入眼簾。

2. “What a cool experience it is living close to the natural world，” exclaimed Li Min， a sophomore majoring in mathematics， cuddling a baby goat. 數學專業的大二學生李敏摟著一只小羊羔大聲說：“和大自然一起生活真是太棒了。”majoring in mathematics是現在分詞短語做定語，修飾sophomore。cuddling a baby goat是現在分詞短語做狀語，表示伴隨動作。

3. “This is a rare opportunity for college students to see what its really like to work on a farm，” said Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union， who organized the event， adding that its easy to romanticize farm life， but in fact its pretty hard. 組織這次活動的學生會主席張偉說：“這是一個難得的機會，讓大學生們看看在農場工作的真實情況。”他補充說，人們容易把農場生活浪漫化，但其實農場生活很辛苦。adding that是現在分詞短語做狀語，表示伴隨動作。romanticize把……浪漫化。

（三）

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write a news report to your campus newspaper on a volunteer activity organized by your Student Union to assist elderly people in the neighborhood. You should write at least 120 words but no more than180 words.

本題要求考生為校報寫一篇新聞，報道由學生會組織的一次志愿者活動。就本題而言，我們可以在第一段中交代最重要的新聞事實——15名上海大學的志愿者到紅星養老院做社區服務。接著，交代他們的具體活動：一些人做清潔，一些人教老年人上網或使用智能手機，一些人陪老年人聊天等。最后，引用志愿者、組織者和護士長的話，揭示新聞事實的意義。

英語新聞的一個鮮明特點是大量使用引語。引用分為直接引語（Direction quote）、間接引語（Indirect quote）和部分引語（Partial quote）三種。直接引語是記者原原本本地引用新聞人物的話，并放在引號里面;間接引語是記者轉述新聞人物的話，不放在引號里面;部分引語是記者將新聞人物的原話的一部分放在引號中加以引用，而其余部分由記者轉述。引語，尤其是直接引語，能有效地增加新聞的易讀性。這是因為：第一，引語能增加新聞的現場感和真實感，使讀者如見其人，如聞其聲;第二，引語能巧妙地表達記者的觀點。英語新聞強調客觀、公正、平衡，但其實暗藏玄機。記者在新聞中引用哪個人的話，不引用哪個人的話，以及引用哪句話，都體現了記者的立場。所以，雖然記者不會直接在新聞中發表觀點，但會通過新聞人物之口表達自己的看法。譬如，我們在這篇新聞中可以通過引用志愿者、組織者和護士長等人的話，間接地表達自己對這次志愿者活動的看法。下面請看參考范文：

Shanghai University Students Help Senior Citizens

By Li Ming

Hongxing Nursing Home was a hive of activity on the morning of June 5 as fifteen volunteers from Shanghai University was doing community service.

Some did the cleaning， some taught the elderly to surf the Internet or use the smart phone， and some chatted with the elders.

“Senior citizens made their contribution to the society，” a volunteer surnamed Li said during a short break from scrubbing the floor. “It is our moral duty to give them the respect and love they deserve.”

“It is also in the interest of the younger to help the elderly，” said Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union of Shanghai University who organized this event. “Senior citizens have a lifetime of experience. They always have a thing or two to teach us.”

Liu Yuan， matron at the nursing facility， praised the volunteer work as “most welcome，” adding that the elderly here really appreciate the students company. （171 words）

語言亮點借鑒：

1. Hongxing Nursing Home was a hive of activity on the morning of June 5 as fifteen volunteers from Shanghai University was doing community service. 6月5日早上，紅星養老院里一派繁忙景象。15名來自上海大學的志愿者正在做社區服務。a hive of activity 繁忙的場所。

2. “Senior citizens made their contribution to the society，” a volunteer surnamed Li said during a short break from scrubbing the floor. “It is our moral duty to give them the respect and love they deserve.” 一位姓李的志愿者在擦地板的短暫休息期間說：“老年人為社會做出了貢獻，我們有道義上的責任給予他們愛和尊敬。這是他們應該得到的。”

3. Liu Yuan， matron at the nursing facility， praised the volunteer work as “most welcome，” adding that the elderly here really appreciate the students company. 該養老院的護士長劉媛稱贊這次志愿者工作“非常受歡迎”，她還說這里的老年人真心感謝學生們的陪伴。matron at the nursing facility是名詞短語，做Liu Yuan的同位語。? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?□