After the Dance

趙婷婷

瓊經常回憶著同約翰尼跳舞的情景，渴望自己……

The first thing Jean discovered after the dance was that once a boy singles a girl out of a crowd for the first time， her life is never quite the same again. Jean began to half wish that when school started the boy would recognize her， seek her out， and say something to let her know he had not minded those few minutes spent with her. She wouldn't even expect him to ask her for a date. She would just like to know that a good-looking boy felt friendly toward her and would pay her a little attention beyond saying， “Hi， ?in the halls. That was the trouble with her and Elaine and a lot of other girls—nobody paid any attention to them. Jean and Elaine had both had a left-out feeling since they had transferred from junior to senior high school. Northgate High School， the only high school in the city， seemed so big， so full of strange faces， that they felt lost in the crowds that swarmed the corridors. “The only thing wrong with us，” said Elaine， summing up the situation， “is that we are a couple of late bloomers”.

And so， on the day school started after Christmas vacation， Jean， with her bangs cut short and without her glasses， got off the bus with Elaine， walked up the blurry steps， and entered a fuzzy school building.

“Come on， let's go upstairs，” whispered Elaine. “If he's a senior， his locker is up there， and if we walk along sort of casually we might see him.”

Jean hung back. “Oh， Elaine，” she protested， without much conviction.“If I did see him I think I would die.”

“No， you wouldn't，” said Elaine， taking Jean by the arm. “Come on. We don't have much time.”

Jean allowed herself to be led up the steps to the crowded corridor on the second floor. “Now， act as if we were really going someplace，” directed Elaine， “and pretend you aren't looking for anyone.”

Jean laughed nervously， “I don't have to pretend. I can't see very far.”

Timidly the two girls patrolled the length of the corridor.

“Come on， let's go back，” said Elaine， when they had reached the end. “He must be up here someplace.”

Jean knew it was useless to protest in the face of Elaine's determination. And she did not really want to protest， because she wanted to see that boy again. Halfway down the length of the hall， not far from the trophy case， Elaine suddenly clutched her arm. “There he is！” she whispered.

Jean's nearsighted eyes swept the faces around her. “Where？” she asked.

“Pretend you aren't looking，” advised Elaine.

“I'm not，” said Jean. “I can't.”

“Over there against the lockers，” whispered Elaine. “In the green plaid shirt.”

The plaid shirt emerged from the blur and above it a face， a good-looking face which Jean had seen before and which she now felt too timid to look at for more than an instant. Blushing， she quickly looked away.

Elaine， still clutching Jean's arm， giggled nervously， and the two girls hurried to the stairs， where they ran down the steps to the first floor.

Jean put on her glasses and found it a relief to be once more in a world with clear-cut edges. “Do you think he saw me？” she asked anxiously.

“I don't know. I think so，” said Elaine， with her nervous giggle. Then she sighed， “He's so good-looking in that plaid shirt.”

“I don't care，” said Jean. “I'm going to pretend I never saw him before in my life. If he did see me and remember me， he didn't bother to speak. I am just going to forget the whole thing.

Jean did not forget， however， and she found that with careful timing she could make her path cross that of the boy several times a day. Each time she snatched off her glasses just before they met， looked straight ahead， and wished she could control the blush that rushed to her cheeks. She wished... she wished a lot of things. She wished that she were the kind of girl people noticed， that she had lots of pretty clothes， that she were three inches taller， two years older， and did not wear glasses.

Elaine did not forget either， and the two girls became tireless collectors of information about the boy. Every afternoon， as they rode home from school on the bus or， if it was not raining， walked so Jean could save her carfare， they compared notes and added to what they had jokingly begun to call his dossier， as if they were characters in a spy movie.

And with each shred of information that Jean stored away she found it more and more difficult to forget the boy—Johnny. Jean squeezed her memory hard， and brought back the remembered scent of soap and clean wool and， with it， the memory that Jean clung to. It was the only memory concerning a boy that she had to cling to.

Notes： single out 選出 a left-out feeling 被人遺忘的感覺 late bloomers 成熟晚的人 bangs n. 劉海 conviction n. 確信patrol v. 巡邏 protest v. 抗議 emerge from 從……出現 blush vi. 臉紅 giggle vi. 咯咯笑 dossier n. （關于個人經歷的）總檔案材料

【背景簡介】

《舞會之后》選自Beverly Cleary所著的《瓊與約翰尼》。瓊是一個相貌平平、毫不起眼的高一女生。在一次舞會上，一個英俊的高年級男生邀請她跳了一段舞。打那以后，瓊的生活完全被打亂。她渴望這個男生能夠再注意到她，對她產生好感。圣誕節后開學的那天，瓊聽從其密友伊萊恩的建議剪短劉海，摘掉眼鏡，同伊萊恩一起上樓到高年級學生的衣帽柜附近轉悠，實際是想再次見到那名男生。此后的日子里，瓊和伊萊恩想方設法地搜集有關那個男生的情況，瓊也越發感到難以忘掉那個后來得知叫約翰尼的男生。瓊經常回憶同約翰尼跳舞的情景，渴望自己是那種引人注目的女孩，擁有漂亮的衣服、高挑的身材，不戴近視眼鏡……作者把純情少女青春萌動、渴望博得異性青睞的心態描寫得絲絲入扣，淋漓盡致。