Dad's pickle jar

浙江 胡君祥

The pickle jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor in my parents'bedroom.When he got ready for bed,Dad would empty his pockets and throw his coins into the jar.

As a small boy I was always fascinated by the sounds the coins made as they were dropped into the jar.They landed with a merry jingle when the jar was almost empty.Then,the fuller the jar,the duller the sound.

Taking the coins to the bank was always a big job.Each time we drove to the bank,Dad would look at me hopefully,saying,“Those coins are going to keep you out of the small town.”

Also,each time he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier,he would shout proudly,“These are for my son's college fund.He'll never work at the mill（工廠） all his life like me.”

When we got home,we would start filling the jar again.He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar.We smiled at each other as they made a brief,happy jingle.“You'll get to college on pennies,”he said.

No matter how rough things got at home,Dad continued to drop his coins into the jar.Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the mill,not a single coin was taken from the jar.

The years passed,and I finished college and took a job in another town.Once,while visiting my parents,I used the phone in their bedroom,and noticed that the pickle jar was gone.It had served its purpose and had been removed.A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where the jar had always stood.My dad was a man of few words,and never lectured me on the values of determination,perseverance（堅持不懈）,and faith.The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues.

Ⅰ.Difficult phrase in sentence

Even the summer when Dadgot laid offfrom the mill,not a single coin was taken from the jar.

語境：即使在夏天爸爸被工廠解雇的時候，爸爸也沒花罐子里的一分錢。

分析：本句中，get laid off意為“被解雇”。

Ⅱ.Useful sentence patterns

1.Then,the fuller the jar,the duller the sound.

語境：然后,罐子越滿,聲音變得越沉悶。

分析：本句為“the+比較級,the+比較級”固定句型結構，表示“越……越……”。

2.Also,each time he slid the box of rolled coins across the counter at the bank toward the cashier,he would shout proudly,“These are for my son's college fund.He'll never work at the mill all his life like me.”

語境：而且，每次他把裝著硬幣的盒子從柜臺那邊遞給銀行出納員的時候，他都會驕傲地大喊：“這是給我兒子上大學的基金。他不可能像我一樣，一輩子在工廠里工作。”

分析：本句中，each time是連詞短語，意為“每次……”。

閱讀上面的文章，根據所給情節進行續寫，使之構成一個完整的故事。

注意：

1.所續寫短文的詞數應為150左右；

2.續寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:

When I married,I told my wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my life as a boy.__________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

She handed the daughter back to my father and led me into my parents'bedroom.____________

寫作導引

一、語篇研讀

要想續寫內容與所給短文之間邏輯連貫、銜接緊密，必須充分理解所給材料的大意，掌握作者想要傳達的意思。本文是一篇記敘文，文章分析如下：

二、提問構思

基于原文本和續寫段落首句提供的信息并結合以上閱讀分析，采用圍繞中心提問相關問題的方法，構思要續寫的兩段故事情節，一般分為三步。

第一步，根據續寫第二段所給出的段首句倒推續寫第一段應包括什么內容。

根據第二段的段首句“她把女兒還給了父親，把我領進了父母的臥室”可知，續寫第一段要寫“作者妻子和女兒之間的事”，這樣才能確保續寫的兩段是相銜接的。

第二步，圍繞續寫第一段所給出的段首句以及上面的分析進行提問構思。

（1） Why did the author tell his wife of the pickle jar?

（2） What did the author's wife see in his parents'bedroom?

（3） Why did the author's wife lead him to his parents'bedroom?

第三步，圍繞續寫第二段所給出的段首句進行提問構思。

（1） What did the author see in his parents'bedroom?

（2） How did the author feel when he saw his father's pickle jar again?

（3） What would the author do when he saw his father's pickle jar again?

三、潤色成篇

在續寫的過程中要注意情節連貫，各部分內容相銜接，即：

1.兩段的續寫與所給短文的銜接；

2.每段的續寫與續寫段首句之間的銜接；

3.續寫的兩段之間的銜接。

同時要注意語言風格的一致和語法、句型以及所用詞語的準確性。比如，刻畫人物形象時運用恰當的形容詞使其栩栩如生；描寫人物心理活動時使用一些動詞或副詞使其細微深入。