叢林歷險(xiǎn)

廣東 袁丹純

湯姆和托德一起去叢林中度假，正當(dāng)他們午休時(shí)，火災(zāi)發(fā)生了。他們該如何安全逃生呢？

July was the hottest time of the year in southern California. Tom and his best friend,Tod,had planned a camping trip in the Great National Forest for their summer vacation.

Two big boys packed clothes and supplies into a bag,and set out for their great adven?ture with the dog Paul early in the morning.Upon arrival,Tom pulled over to the side of the road along the bank of the river.“A perfect place for fishing,”Tom exclaimed in delight.Tod nodded in agreement.Then,they spent a wonderful morning fishing by the river.

At noon, the scorching（酷熱的）sun made everything so quiet.With a good harvest of fish, the boys marched into the depth of the forest, followed by Paul. After searching for some time, they finally found an ideal place for the campsite (野營地). The camp was set up immediately as Tom knew all the tricks of an experienced wilderness camper. After that,the two boys enjoyed their special treat—an afternoon nap.However,they were woken up by the shocking and fierce barks of Paul. Outside, heavy smoke filled the air and wind?blown flame was skipping from the top of one tree to another.The long dry summer made the forest a tinderbox（易燃物）.In no time,Tom and Tod hurried inside their tent packing their belongings.

“Let's go!We can make it back to the river!”Tom shouted.They headed down against the fire?wind in the direction of the river.But Paul barked a sharp warning.Ahead of them lay a thick wall of smoke across the track. They would never make it through that. Tom was uneasy,for it was hard to find a safe way to escape in the heavy smoke.

Paul lifted his head and sniffed the smoke?laden wind. Soon, the dog bounded away and disappeared down a sharp slope. The boys shouted at him, but he didn't come back.

Tom couldn't blame Paul for panicking. He himself wanted to run even though he didn't have a clue which way to choose.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1:Tom and Tod hadn't gone far when there was a familiar bark.

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Paragraph 2:

Paul pulled again,in spite of the boys'disbelief,urgently.

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Step 1 語篇研讀

文本梳理

在一個(gè)酷熱的夏日，湯姆和好朋友托德一起帶上小狗保羅去叢林中度假。漫長而又干燥的夏天讓森林成為一個(gè)易燃物，當(dāng)他們正在午休的時(shí)候，森林起火了。他們該如何逃出突如其來的火災(zāi)呢？

人物分析

Characters Personalities 1.and brave Tom&Tod Clues●Two big boys set out for their great adventure.●The boys marched into the depth of the forest with Paul following them.●Tom couldn't blame Paul for panicking. He himself wanted to run even though he didn't have a clue which way to choose.●They were 3.by the shocking and fierce barks 2.Paul of Paul.●Paul barked a sharp 4..●Paul lifted his head and sniffed the smoke?laden 5..Soon,Alert and capable of saving people the dog bounded away and disappeared down a sharp 6..

Step 2 情節(jié)構(gòu)思

續(xù)寫步驟

一、根據(jù)故事最后一段的情節(jié)，小狗保羅跑向斜坡，男孩們不知所措，我們可以預(yù)測小狗會找到逃離的路，帶領(lǐng)他們走到安全地帶。推薦表達(dá)有survive from the heavy smoke、escape from、make it back to the river。

二、根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段的段首句，我們可設(shè)置以下問題鏈并推測：

1.Did Paul find a safe way out?

2.How did Tom and Tod feel when Paul was trying to lead the way?

3.How would Tom and Tod behave?

三、根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的段首句，我們可設(shè)置以下問題鏈并推測續(xù)寫第一段的結(jié)尾：

1.Why did Paul pull Tom and Tod?

2.How did Tom and Tod feel when Paul tried to guide them out of danger?

四、根據(jù)續(xù)寫第二段的段首句，我們可設(shè)置以下問題鏈并推測續(xù)寫第二段的情節(jié)：

1.Did Tom and Tod finally believe in Paul and why?

2.What did Paul do to help Tom and Tod out of the heavy smoke?3.Did Tom and Tod reach the safe place with the help of Paul?

4.How would Tom and Tod feel toward Paul in the end?

Step 3 語言打磨

原文語言分析

一、語言特色

1.使用with結(jié)構(gòu)，表達(dá)生動(dòng)、活潑、靈活

With a good harvest of fish, the boys marched into the depth of the forest, followed by Paul.(Para.3)

2.使用暗喻的修辭，表達(dá)簡潔，內(nèi)涵豐富

The long dry summer made the forest a tinderbox.(Para.3)

3.“地點(diǎn)狀語+謂語+主語”，強(qiáng)調(diào)地點(diǎn)，使得重點(diǎn)突出

Ahead of them lay a thick wall of smoke across the track.(Para.4)

二、精彩詞塊

set out 出發(fā)；啟程

pull over 停靠路邊

in delight 高興地

the depth of the forest 森林的深處

make it back to someplace 成功回到某地

a thick wall of smoke 濃厚的煙

續(xù)寫語言提升

以下是續(xù)寫時(shí)可使用的語言表達(dá)：

一、行為描寫

bound away 跳躍著離開

bark at sb 朝某人吠叫

grab one's jeans 抓緊某人的牛仔褲

push and pull 推和拉

sniff the wind 嗅著風(fēng)

rush out of breath 跑得上氣不接下氣

二、使用暗喻

They heard the most melodious music—the sound of rushing water.他們聽到了最美妙的音樂——流水的聲音。

Their faces blossomed.他們的臉笑成了一朵朵花。