School life

主持人：祖瑞 正高級教師，江蘇省特級教師，任教于江蘇省南京市將軍山中學

Reading 1

With the development of science,every part of our life is brand-new,even our school is changing.Some of new inventions and products are very helpful for students and teachers.Which of them will schools use?No one is sure,but here are some possible developments.

There will be robots in the schools of tomorrow.Some people think that these robots will help students with their homework.The robots will have special software from the school.They will know what the students are studying and they can also help them solve problems easily.

Many teachers do not believe there will be traditional classes or classrooms.Each student in a class might study different materials at the same time.Classrooms might be in open areas and use large LCD screens.

Many people believe schools will use less paper and fewer books.In the future,students may only need to bring an e-book to school.In fact,some schools are already doing this.The e-book will store all their school materials and students can write notes and answers on the screen instead of on the books or notebooks.Plus they can search for information on the Internet.Most people think students will be happy to have lighter schoolbags.

Teachers will give students’homework online in the future.This can help parents follow their kid’s progress closely.They can check their kid’s homework and marks through the Internet.The system will also allow students to see teaching videos and notes online.Some people wonder if students will even need to go to schools any more.

Do you believe they will come true?

—Adapted from English Grade 8 of Beijing Normal University Press(Volume II)

Task

Read and complete the chart.

Reading 2

When I was a student,there were endless classes and examinations every day.At that time,I always felt that going to school was too painful.It would be great if I could get out to do social work as soon as possible,so that I could make money and buy what I wanted.

But it wasn’t until I graduated from junior high school and went to work for two months that I realized that the work life was so boring and painful.I did similar work every day.I got up at dawn to go to work,and went home to eat and sleep when it got dark,day after day.

After this work,I found that the time in school was my happiest time.The pressure of study is great,but I am very happy.Every day,I can listen to the teachers’interesting lessons together with my classmates.After class,we will chat and play together.We don’t have to worry about having no money every day,because our daily life is settled by our parents.This kind of school life is really happy.

Writing

In the last paragraph of Reading 2,the writer thinks the school life is really happy.What’s your school life like? How do you like your school life? Please write an article titled“My school life”.

原文呈現

My school life

Hello,everybody!

I am Maria.I’m a 14-year-old girl in the 8th grade.My school is in Nanjing.It’s very beautiful.I like it very much.

自我介紹稍顯冗長。

I have many friends at school.Lily is good.She always helps me and is good at Maths.She tells me many things about the school.

Our school has many activities every year.All the activities are great and can make us happy.I like the sports meeting best.During the period,everybody practises hard.We also win many games and feel excited.Through the activity，we will become much more friendly.If we fail,we’ll not be sad.We will discuss how to be better next time.

有以“my school”偷換“my school life”的嫌疑。建議與前段合并，表達簡潔。

We have a lot of nice lessons to learn.Every teacher is helpful.The teacher will answer your questions patiently if you ask him or her.

表達不夠簡練，且缺少總結性的結尾。對校園生活的分述可以根據認知邏輯，按學習——人際交往——活動的順序調整，同時增加總結性結尾。

升格展示

My school life

Hello,everybody! I am Maria,a 14-year-old girl studying in High School Affiliated to Nanjing Normal University Jiangning Campus.I love my school and I’d like to share my school life with you.

We have many kinds of interesting lessons and the new knowledge opens our eyes.If we have problems,our teachers are always there to help.They are patient enough to answer all the questions.

What’s more,I have my best friend Lily in my school.She is good at Maths and she often helps me with it.She always shares everything with me,so I never feel bored with her.

We also have a lot of school activities every year.I like the sports meeting best.During the period,my classmates and I work and practice together.When we win,we shout and jump excitedly.When we fail,we discuss about how to do better next time.The activities help us know each other better and our friendship becomes stronger.

From the bottom of my heart,I feel quite lucky to study in such a harmonious school and enjoy such a wonderful school life.

（南京師范大學附屬中學江寧分校徐嘉憶；指導教師董蓉蓉）

綜合點評

升格后的作文主題明確，結構清晰。第一段引入主題“my school life”，第二、三、四段從學習及老師、交友、活動等方面有詳有略地具體描寫校園生活。小作者運用合理的連接詞（also）、句（What’s more）自然且有邏輯地串聯起校園生活的幾個方面，并通過“love,interesting,never feel bored,shout and jump excitedly,do better next time,feel quite lucky,harmonious,enjoy,wonderful”等詞語的變化，將自己對校園生活的感受這條“暗線”準確、簡練地呈現在讀者面前。