A Day to Remember

本期點評名師

張超 男，河北省衡水市阜城縣第四中學高級英語教師、縣骨干教師、市優秀英語教師，從事英語教育教學工作30 多年；多年來，在省級以上報刊發表文章數百篇，并有多篇文章獲獎；曾參與多本教輔資料的編寫工作；曾榮獲“中央教育科學研究所全國基礎教育科研先進個人”榮譽稱號；曾多次輔導多名學生在市、省和國家級英語競賽中獲獎。

A Day to Remember

On october淤11th， 2023， it was cloudy. It was an unforgettable day for me. Onthe way to school， my friend did rude something于to me. I felt very sad. And Ididn’t past the test of my favorite subject. It was really a bad day.

After school， I went home unhappily. There was no one in the house. Everyroom was dark. What was wrong？ I just wanted to make a call when the lights wereon. I was surprised saw盂many people and a big cake. They were singing“Happybirthday”. It was my birthday. I forgot. I was so excited and happy. I knew that myfamily and friends always made me happy. I’ll never forget that day.

河北省阜城縣第四中學 馬海生

優點：

本文是一篇記敘文，格式正確，信息內容完整，符合寫作要求。小作者采用一般過去時，用第一或第三人稱來敘述故事內容，整篇文章有一氣呵成之感。在描述“我”那天的經歷和感受時，內容全面、條理清晰。此外，小作者使用了連詞連接并列成分，使文章前后連貫，邏輯嚴密。

需要修改的地方：

①october 改為October。月份的首字母應大寫。

②rude something 改為something rude。形容詞修飾不定代詞應后置。

③saw 改為to see。be surprised to do sth.意為“對做某事感到驚訝”。

評分：

按中考英語作文滿分20分的評分標準，本文修改前可得17分。