2024年12月大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四、六級(jí)作文試題評(píng)析（三）

四級(jí)

Directions： Suppose the business school of your university is conducting a survey to collect students’ opinion on express delivery service industry in China. You are now to write a response about its recent development and its impact on people’s lives. You will have 30 minutes to write the essay. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

這道大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)作文試題要求考生論述中國(guó)快遞業(yè)的最新發(fā)展以及它對(duì)人們生活的影響。一般來(lái)說(shuō)，一篇一百多字的四級(jí)作文只能突出一個(gè)重點(diǎn)，而不能面面俱到。就本文而言，我們不妨把快遞業(yè)對(duì)人們生活的影響確定為寫作重點(diǎn)，而中國(guó)快遞業(yè)的最新發(fā)展只需在文章的開頭段里簡(jiǎn)潔地指出。

這篇作文可以寫三個(gè)段落。

第一段先指出近年來(lái)中國(guó)的快遞業(yè)發(fā)展迅速，然后提供一些生活細(xì)節(jié)和統(tǒng)計(jì)數(shù)據(jù)支撐這一觀點(diǎn)——快遞業(yè)已經(jīng)成為人們?nèi)粘Ｉ钪胁豢扇鄙俚囊徊糠郑袊?guó)公民平均每年收到一百多個(gè)包裹。

第二段闡述快遞業(yè)對(duì)人們生活的影響。俗話說(shuō)，凡事有利必有弊，我們不妨從積極和消極兩個(gè)方面分析快遞業(yè)的影響。首先，快遞業(yè)的迅速發(fā)展正在改變?nèi)藗兊馁?gòu)物習(xí)慣，比如耗時(shí)費(fèi)力去實(shí)體店購(gòu)物正逐漸被網(wǎng)購(gòu)所取代，年輕人尤其喜歡待在舒適的家中瀏覽網(wǎng)店下單。有了快遞，從地方小吃到衣服，一切都可以送到家門口——這給人們的生活帶來(lái)了極大的便利，尤其是生活在農(nóng)村地區(qū)的人。然后，再分析這一行業(yè)造成的問(wèn)題。快遞業(yè)的迅速發(fā)展造成包裝垃圾大量增加，從而對(duì)環(huán)境構(gòu)成嚴(yán)重威脅。

本文可以用建議法結(jié)尾。第三段先承認(rèn)快遞業(yè)給人們的生活帶來(lái)了便利，接著指出它對(duì)環(huán)境造成的負(fù)面影響也不容忽視，最后建議快遞業(yè)投資于新技術(shù)以減少對(duì)環(huán)境的影響。

下面請(qǐng)看參考范文：

In recent years China’s express delivery sector has developed rapidly， so much so that express delivery has become an integral part of everyday life， with the average Chinese citizen receiving over 100 parcels annually.

The rapid growth of express delivery service is reshaping people’s shopping habits. For instance， time-consuming trips to physical stores are gradually giving way to shopping online. Young people in particular love browsing online stores and placing orders in the comfort of their home. With express delivery service， everything from local delicacies to apparel can be delivered to the doorstep. This offers unparalleled convenience to people， especially those living in rural areas. Of course， it is not without problems. The industry has brought about a huge increase in packaging waste， posing a serious threat to the environment.

Admittedly， express delivery industry in China has made things convenient for people， but its negative effect on the environment cannot be overlooked. Now is the time for the sector to invest more in new technology to reduce its environmental impact. （170 words）

語(yǔ)言亮點(diǎn)借鑒：

1. In recent years China’s express delivery sector has developed rapidly， so much so that it has become an integral part of everyday life， with the average Chinese citizen receiving over 100 parcels annually. 近年來(lái)中國(guó)的快遞業(yè)發(fā)展迅速，已成為人們?nèi)粘Ｉ钪胁豢扇鄙俚囊徊糠郑袊?guó)公民平均每年收到一百多個(gè)包裹。so much so that 以至于。with the average… annually是一個(gè)with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)，在句中做狀語(yǔ)，表示伴隨狀況。

2. Young people in particular love browsing online stores and placing orders in the comfort of their home. 年輕人尤其喜歡在舒適的家里瀏覽網(wǎng)店并下單。in particular尤其。in the comfort of their home在他們舒適的家里。

3. Admittedly， express delivery industry in China has made things convenient for people， but its negative effect on the environment cannot be overlooked. 誠(chéng)然，中國(guó)的快遞業(yè)讓人們生活便利，但是它對(duì)環(huán)境的負(fù)面影響也不容忽視。admittedly 誠(chéng)然；這個(gè)詞常用在句首表示讓步，后面一般有but與之相呼應(yīng)。make things convenient for people讓人們生活便利。

4. Now is the time for the sector to invest more in new technology to reduce its environmental impact. 現(xiàn)在是這個(gè)行業(yè)投資于新技術(shù)以減少對(duì)環(huán)境影響的時(shí)候了。Now is the time for sb to do sth 現(xiàn)在是某人做某事的時(shí)候了；這是提建議的常用句型。

六級(jí)

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write an essay that begins with the sentence “To increase the likelihood of success， one should set realistic goals and work persistently towards them.” You can make comments， cite examples or use your personal experiences to develop your essay. You should write at least 150 words but no more than 200 words.

這道大學(xué)英語(yǔ)六級(jí)作文試題要求考生論述設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)并為之不懈努力對(duì)取得成功的重要性。題目中的觀點(diǎn)涉及兩個(gè)方面：設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)和為之不懈努力。這兩個(gè)方面同等重要，所以考生在論述中必須做到兼顧兩者，否則就偏題了。

這篇作文可以寫三個(gè)段落。

第一段先提出觀點(diǎn)：為了增加成功的可能性，人們應(yīng)當(dāng)設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)并為之不懈努力。然后，可以援引一項(xiàng)對(duì)上海1000名企業(yè)家所做的研究來(lái)支持這一觀點(diǎn)。此為破題。

第二段闡述設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)并為之不懈努力的重要性。可以先論述設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)的重要性：當(dāng)一個(gè)目標(biāo)是現(xiàn)實(shí)的，達(dá)到每個(gè)階段都會(huì)讓你有成就感，這會(huì)增加你的自信并激勵(lì)你進(jìn)一步努力；然后再?gòu)姆疵嬲撟C一下，如果設(shè)定的目標(biāo)不現(xiàn)實(shí)，會(huì)導(dǎo)致沮喪、自卑和挫敗感（這種論證方法叫正反論證，可以有效增強(qiáng)論證的說(shuō)服力）。接著再論述不懈努力的重要性：眾所周知，通往成功的道路罕有坦途，往往充滿挑戰(zhàn)、挫折和心碎，只有堅(jiān)持不懈朝著目標(biāo)努力的人才有可能品嘗到成功的甘甜。需要注意的是，由于設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)和為之不懈努力同等重要，所以我們對(duì)兩者的論述在篇幅上也要大致相等。

第三段先總結(jié)全文，重述觀點(diǎn)：在任何領(lǐng)域要取得成功，設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)和為之不懈努力都至關(guān)重要。最后建議大學(xué)生在設(shè)定目標(biāo)時(shí)要從實(shí)際出發(fā)，并為之不懈努力。

下面請(qǐng)看參考范文：

To increase the likelihood of success， one should set realistic goals and work persistently towards them. A recent study polled 1，000 entrepreneurs in Shanghai and found that 84.2% of them rate an attainable goal and persistent work as the most important factors in achieving success.

When a goal is achievable， you will feel a sense of accomplishment as you reach each milestone. This helps build confidence and encourages further efforts. So setting realistic objectives is a great confidence booster. Conversely， if you set an unrealistic goal for yourself， it will lead to frustration， feelings of inadequacy and a sense of defeat. Equally important is persistence. As we know， the journey towards success is rarely an easy road. Rather， it is filled with challenges， setbacks and heartbreaks. Only those who work persistently towards their goals stand a chance of smelling the sweet smell of success.

In summary， setting realistic goals and working doggedly are key to achieving success in any area of life. So it is advised that college students be realistic when setting objectives and be persistent when working at them. （181 words）

語(yǔ)言亮點(diǎn)借鑒：

1. A recent study polled 1，000 entrepreneurs in Shanghai and found that 84.2% of them rate an attainable goal and persistent work as the most important factors in achieving success. 最近有項(xiàng)研究在上海調(diào)查了1000位企業(yè)家，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)其中84.2%認(rèn)為現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)和持之以恒的工作是取得成功最重要的因素。rate… as… 認(rèn)為……是……。

2. So setting realistic objectives is a great confidence booster. 所以，設(shè)定現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)可以極大地增強(qiáng)信心。在英語(yǔ)中，常用名詞表達(dá)漢語(yǔ)中用動(dòng)詞所表達(dá)的意思。

3. Conversely， if you set an unrealistic goal for yourself， it will lead to frustration， feelings of inadequacy and a sense of defeat. 相反，如果為自己設(shè)定一個(gè)不現(xiàn)實(shí)的目標(biāo)，會(huì)導(dǎo)致沮喪、自卑和挫敗感。conversely 相反，反過(guò)來(lái)；這是做正反論證時(shí)常用的過(guò)渡語(yǔ)。inadequacy 能力不足。

4. Rather， it is filled with challenges， setbacks and heartbreaks. 相反，它充滿挑戰(zhàn)、挫折和心碎。rather 相反；常用在句首，表示提出不同或相反的觀點(diǎn)。

5. Only those who work persistently towards their goals stand a chance of smelling the sweet smell of success. 只有那些朝著目標(biāo)不懈努力的人才有機(jī)會(huì)品嘗到成功的甘甜。stand a chance of doing sth 有機(jī)會(huì)做某事。smell the sweet smell of success 品嘗到成功的滋味。

* 上海外國(guó)語(yǔ)大學(xué)國(guó)際新聞碩士，講師，專注大學(xué)英語(yǔ)寫作教學(xué)十余年。