２００２年９月５日 星期四 晴

September 5th，2002.Thursday Sunny

Dolls， eyes， falling ，empty， smash.

These words emerged in my mind suddenly. What happened? Was it a bad dream. What happened? Was it a bad dream? No， I was still awake. I could see the second hand of the clock work hard. I could hear the melody spreading from a house in the distance. I kept my eyes open like a frightened cat .There was nothing but silence.

I turned off the table lamp， and sat in the darkness with my hair in a mess. The sound of hastily stopping a car penetrated the darkness. Closing my eyes， I imagined the accident spot: arms and legs were broken; almost everything was covered with flesh and blood; the persons in the opened their frightened eyes， glaring the blood on the windshield flowing down slowly. The whole world was in panic.

People looked up at the sky. The sky full of flickering stars disappeared. Instead， it was distorted， and a ferocious face appeared on it .His body showed up gradually. Surprisingly， it was a baby's body. He stretched his young but powerful hands to me. I calmed myself down and gazed into his eyes. I only saw another unknown world hidden behind the dark blue color. Therefore， I was obedient to be pulled by the collar into that unknown world.

A beam of dazzling white light pierced the darkness， and made the room bright. My eyes felt biting.“Why not go to bed yet? What are you doing in the darkness!”“Well， I will.”I stood up with the clippers， brushed my teeth， and then went to bed. The surroundings returned to silence and dark again. I closed my eyes， expecting the blue color to come again.

I knew all these were not dreams.

2002年9月5日 星期四 晴

玩偶、眼神、墜落、空洞、粉碎。

腦海中突然蹦出這幾個連續的詞語。到底為什么？夢嗎？可我還很清醒。我看得清鬧鐘的秒針還在忙碌不停，我聽得清遠處不知誰家在放悠揚的樂曲。我像一只受驚的貓一樣豎起耳朵環顧四周。寂靜……

我關上臺燈，撥亂頭發，和黑暗對峙。遠處響起急促的剎車聲，劃破夜空。我閉上眼，幻想人被撞得腦漿崩裂四肢不全血肉模糊的場景，車里的人大睜著眼，看著眼，看著濺在車窗上的血滴緩緩流下。驚恐……

人們抬起頭，天上不再是朗朗星空，而是天空凹陷，變形，扭擠出一張猙獰的臉。他的身體漸漸在黑暗中顯現，卻是一副嬰兒的軀體。看著他稚嫩卻有力的手向我伸來，我故作鎮定地盯著他的眼睛。我看到的，是海水一樣的藍，藍的背后隱藏著另一個我所不知的世界，但我看見了另一個世界里和我一樣的人們在盡情地狂歡而不加任何掩飾。我喜歡這藍。我順從地由他拎起我的領口把我拖進那個未知的世界。

一道耀眼的白光劃破黑暗，如白晝一樣光明，刺痛了我的眼睛。“怎么還不去睡覺？也不開燈，趴在桌子上干什么呢！”“哦”。我爬起來拖著拖鞋去刷牙，又拖拖拉拉爬到床上。四周又恢復了黑暗和寂寞。我只露出一雙眼睛，期待著那片藍再次降臨。

我知道那不是夢。