September 10th, 2002.Tuesday Sunny
I don't know what the thinking in my mind is . It hits me on the heart continuously; sometime it's clear but sometime blur. It seems that they have once belonged to me in a certain period. But it also seems that they could only be touched after hard struggling in the future.
Without any stop, I am looking for, feeling and exploring what I have been longing for at the bottom of my heart. Maybe, I think I may need some fresh air.
I open the windows. The Dusty air mixed up with the fuel vapor stirs my dry and withered hair, which make me so fidgety that my fury may break out if something disturbed me.
Oh, I need to calm down.
Suffering from enteritis, I have an opportunity to stay at home alone in the afternoon . I listen to Enya's grand music. She has a voice of the fairy from the heaven.
Listening to the music, I went to another world. It seems that I had gotten a pair of white wings. I flicked my wings. Several feathers fell .Flicking the dust away ,I flew out of the window toward the blue sky directly.
At that moment ,I know that the unforgettable ideal at the bottom of my heart is to fly.
The wind blew my forehead hair. The wings helped by the wind glided in the air. My body floats in the universe. Yes flying is what I want.
The hawk has a hawk's heart. He has once had the sky. So the small room made of wire netting cannot satisfy him.
No matter in the henhouse or in the duck shed, the hawk flies by instinct.
2002年9月10日 星期二 晴
一直都不知道每天在心中翻騰洶涌的思緒到底是什么。它不停地撞擊著我的心房,若隱若現,似乎在某年某月某日十分確定地擁有過它,又好像只有在未來某個空間,經過我的奮力爭取后才能輕觸到它的指尖。
我不停地尋找,不停地感觸,不停地探索那深藏內心深處的渴望究竟是什么。或許我需要一些新鮮空氣。
打開窗,混合著汽油味以及塵埃雜質的空氣吹拂著我干燥枯黃的頭發。這讓我變得煩躁不安,任何的觸碰都是一條導火索,隨時引爆我的憤怒。
這樣不對,冷靜一點。
得了腸炎,有機會在家里獨自呆一下午。恩雅的音樂氣勢磅礴地圍繞著我,有如天籟般圣女的嗓音降臨凡間。
我仿佛又重新長出了翅膀,隨著潔白的羽翼的扇動,幾根零散的羽毛飄落在地上。拂去眼前的灰尖,腳漸漸離開支面,沖破玻璃窗的約束,直飛向湛藍色的天空!
剎那間,我明白了,那一直令我魂牽夢縈的,就是飛翔的感覺!
疾風吹著額前的頭發,雙翼借助風力滑翔在萬物之上,身體漂浮在廣袤的宇宙間。這就是我想要的。
鷹有著鷹的靈魂。既然已經擁有過整個藍天,對那鐵絲圍成的狹小空間還會有留戀嗎?
鷹,不管是生長在雞舍還是鴨棚,飛翔,永遠是它的本能。