雙語笑話（一）

心不在焉的老師

An Absent Minded Professor

A notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement．

A pupil meeting him said，“Good evening，professor．How are you？”

“Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me．I've been limping for the last half hour．”

有一天，人們看見一個有名的心不在焉的老師在路上走，他的一只腳一直踏在街溝里，另一只腳踩在人行道上。

一個碰見他的學生說，“晚安，老師。您怎么了？”

“啊，”這位老師回答說，“我想我離開家的時候還挺好的，可是現在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已經一瘸一拐走了半個小時了?！?/p>

林肯過生日

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher:Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

老師：1809年發生了什么重大事件？

小威利：亞伯拉罕·林肯誕生。

老師：正確。那么1812年發生了什么重要事件呢？

小威利:亞伯拉罕·林肯過他的三周歲生日。

三只烏龜

Three Turtles

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe， it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one，“Gohome and get the umbrella.”

The little turtle replied，“I will， if you don't drink my offee.”

“We won't，” the other two promised.

Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle，“Well， I guess he isn’t coming back， so we might as well drink his coffee.”

Just then a voice called from outside the door，“If you do， I won't go.”

三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。于是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“回家去取傘吧?！?/p>

最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去?！?/p>

“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說。

兩年后，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜它肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了?！?/p>

正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去了?！?/p>