圣誕夜：吵吵鬧鬧又一年

平靜、安詳的圣誕夜，有人家里卻是熱鬧非凡。圣誕的意義也許早已超出了節日本身，而在于與最親近的家人歡聚一堂，談天說地。即使用詞錯誤百出，即使互相揶揄拆臺，在吵鬧聲中也能感知：無論時光如何變遷，記憶如何消逝，這世上有些東西是恒久不變的。有些事依然如舊，有些人依然如故……

Pivoting1） from a life less loud into all the talk at my family’s Christmas gathering is like stepping off a plane from the wintry north into the heat of the tropics. I’m shocked for a second or two. Disoriented for several more. Then warmed and thrilled. Those are the feelings that last.

My brother Mark is talking， his thunderous voice scaled2） to be heard above the din3）. My brother Harry is talking， with even more force， to be heard above Mark. My sister， Adelle， and I can’t precisely match their volume and don’t care to try， but we have patience， determination. We wait for some slack between syllables—for little cracks in the great wall of talk—and shimmy4） in. We’ve got plenty to say ourselves.

Everyone does， my father and my siblings-in-law and my 11 nieces and nephews， except perhaps the one or two going through a quiet phase， which will end. It has to. In my family talking is like breathing， necessary for survival.

At the high point of this particular Christmas weekend there will be 19 of us under one roof—Harry’s—and we’ll make sound enough for double or triple that number. It’s fortunate that the houses in his suburb are set far apart. Otherwise neighbors might complain.

Not all families are like ours. I’ve noticed. In a restaurant just the other night， I observed a young man and two older people who were almost certainly his parents let minutes go by without a word spoken. They weren’t eating then， or absorbed in iPhones or BlackBerrys， and they didn’t seem to be stewing5）.

Had they somehow run out of things to say？ Or was this an elective lull6）， a restorative pause that gave them more comfort than conversation？ I didn’t know what to make of7） them and had to force myself to stop staring. They were that exotic to me.

And they made me realize that the part of Christmas I most look forward to isn’t the perfume of the tree， the overflow of food or our exchange of presents. It’s our chatter， copious8） and constant.

I have friends with storytelling skills vastly superior to Mark’s. He tends toward malapropism9）， using “dubious” as a compliment， and skips crucial details. But I’ve been listening to his inflections10） and cadences11） since they rose from the twin bed parallel to mine in our childhood home. None provide as powerful a reassurance that， for all that time alters or obliterates12）， there are threads of continuity. Some things stick and some people stay.

I have peers and colleagues with more considered assessments of what’s going on in Iowa or Egypt or some other part of the world than his or dad’s or Harry’s or Adelle’s. But because I’ve been traveling my whole life with these four， their takes13） on the scenery interest me most. I know where they’re coming from and how they’ve evolved.

We talk about everything and nothing， devoting 15 minutes to a debate about what to call the odd shade of blue that an old house of ours was painted， 20 minutes to a discussion of the perfect martini. We talk over cards and over carbs14）， as soon as we wake up and until the moment we doze off15）， with the TV on and with the stereo playing. Talking is our default setting， and talking is our cardio16）.

I’ve been able to chart the growth of my nieces and nephews by their success at joining in. By age 4 or 5 they learn the ruse17） of seeming to be in distress as a way of stealing the microphone from whoever has been monopolizing it. By 6 or 7 they’re bold enough to try to interrupt outright. And by 11 or 12 they have the lung power to accomplish it. We get louder all the time.

We talk about the person who just left the room and then about the fact that we really shouldn’t do that and then about the need to say everything that needs saying before the person returns. And sometimes we talk too much， letting ancient grievances resurface or minor differences of opinion become major disputes. We needle18）. We provoke.

But even as we do， I understand that it’s not so terrible—that it is， in its way， another reflection of the stock we put in19） one another’s reactions and judgments. The bad talk， like the good talk， affirms our closeness. All of it is a measure—the best barometer20） I know—of how much we treasure the audience at hand and how determined we are not to waste it.

When I return home to my apartment， the quiet is epic， like the exaggerated hush in one of those movies about the end of the world. But the phone rings soon enough. After days of nonstop talking， someone in the family has something more that he or she just has to say.

從一種不那么喧鬧的生活跨入家人圣誕聚會時的喧囂，就好像乘飛機從冬季嚴寒的北方進入酷暑難耐的熱帶。剎那間，我感到一種震撼。隨之而來的是一種找不著北的感覺。接著便感到溫暖和興奮。這樣的感覺會一直持續下去。

我弟弟馬克說個不停，他那雷鳴般的聲音為了蓋住周圍的嘈雜而越來越高。另一個弟弟哈利也是滔滔不絕，他的嗓門更大，這樣才能蓋住馬克的聲音。妹妹阿黛爾和我根本無法和他們的嗓音抗衡，也無心和他們抗衡，但我們有耐心，有決心。我們抓住他們話語的間隙——話語的壁壘間每一個細小的間隙——靈巧地擠進去。我們倆也有很多話要說啊。

每個人都有很多話要說，包括我爸爸、弟媳、妹夫，還有11個侄子、侄女、外甥、外甥女。這其中可能有一兩個處在比較低落的安靜期，不過他們的安靜總會結束，這是必須的。對我的家人來說，說話就像呼吸一樣，沒有它就活不下去。

今年圣誕節的這個周末，我們在巔峰時刻會有19人同在一個屋檐下——在哈利家。而我們所發出的聲音足以達到這個人數的兩倍甚至三倍。幸好他是住在郊區，和鄰居家的房子相隔較遠，不然鄰居們該抱怨了。

我注意到，并非所有的家庭都像我們這樣。幾天前的一個晚上，在一家飯店里，我注意到一個年輕人和兩位年齡較大的很可能是他父母的人。他們好幾分鐘都沒有說過一句話。他們當時并不是在吃飯，也不是在全神貫注地玩iPhone或者黑莓手機，而且他們看上去并不因此而感到不安。

是他們沒有話可說了嗎？還是他們有意選擇沉默，停頓一下，恢復元氣，這比交談更能給他們帶來慰藉？我不知該如何理解他們，只得迫使自己不要再盯著他們看。在我看來他們真是太異乎尋常了。

他們讓我明白，對于圣誕節，我最期待的不是圣誕樹的芳香，不是豐盛的美味佳肴，也不是互相交換的禮物，而是海闊天空、滔滔不絕的閑聊。

我有些朋友講故事的技巧不知要比馬克強多少倍。他常常會犯一些可笑的用詞錯誤，比如把“可疑”用作褒義詞，還會漏掉一些關鍵的細節。但他這樣的語音語調和抑揚變化，我從兒時在家跟他床挨床睡在一起時就一直在聽。沒有什么比這更能使人相信，盡管時光改變了無數的人和事，沖刷掉無數的記憶，但這世上有些東西是恒久不變的。有些事依然如舊，有些人依然如故。

我有些同輩和同事對發生在愛荷華州、埃及或者世上其他地區的新聞作出的評價，遠遠要比馬克或者父親或者哈利或者阿黛爾的評價更為深思熟慮。但因為我的生命之旅一直在和他們四人結伴而行，他們的觀點最令我感興趣。我知道他們的觀點從何而來，也知道它們是如何演變的。

我們無所不談，但又好像什么都沒談：花上15分鐘去爭論我們那所老房子粉刷的奇怪的藍色到底該稱為什么顏色，花上20分鐘去討論什么是完美的馬提尼酒。我們討論撲克牌，討論碳水化合物，一邊還開著電視，放著立體聲音樂，從兩眼睜開時起，到睡意降臨為止。聊天就是我們的默認設置，聊天就是我們的有氧運動。

就我的侄子、侄女、外甥、外甥女而言，我完全可以通過他們參與聊天的成功度畫出他們的成長軌跡。四五歲的時候，他們就學會了耍心眼，為了把大家的注意力從滔滔不絕的話匣子身上吸引過來，他們表現得郁郁寡歡。六七歲時，他們就敢于嘗試直接打斷別人的話了。十一二歲時，他們的肺活量就足以打斷別人了。我們的嗓門總是越來越高。

我們會議論剛剛離開房間的人，然后議論我們實在不應該背后議論他人這一事實，但接著又會說我們應該趁著那人還沒回來把該說的全都說了。有時我們話太多，以至于把陳年老賬全都翻了出來，或者愣是把小小的意見分歧變成了面紅耳赤的爭執。我們針尖對麥芒，諷刺對挖苦。

但即便如此，我也明白這并不是什么壞事。從某方面說，它同樣反映了我們關心、重視彼此的反應和評判。壞話和好話一樣，都證實了我們的親密無間。所有這一切都是一種標準，一支最好的晴雨表，衡量的是我們對眼前聽眾的珍惜程度，以及我們絕不辜負聽眾的決心。

回到自己的住處，寂靜又變得像史詩般壯闊，就像某個關于世界末日的影片中所展現的夸張的沉寂一樣。但很快電話鈴就響起來。在經過數天滔滔不絕的閑聊之后，家里又有人有話不吐不快了。

1.pivot [?p?v?t] vi. 繞支點運動

2.scale [ske?l] vi. 逐步升高

3.din [d?n] n. 喧鬧聲，吵鬧聲

4.shimmy [???mi] vi. 搖擺；晃動

5.stew [stju?] vi. 〈口〉焦慮，著急

6.lull [l?l] n. 暫時平靜

7.make of：解釋，理解

8.copious [?k??pi?s] adj. 豐富的；大量的

9.malapropism [?m?l?pr?p??z（?）m] n. 荒唐（或可笑）的用詞錯誤

10.inflection [?n?flek?（?）n] n. 變音；轉調

11.cadence [?ke?d（?）ns] n. （聲音的）抑揚頓挫

12.obliterate [??bl?t?re?t] vt. 去掉……的痕跡，沖刷掉

13.take [te?k] n. 〈口〉見解，看法

14.carbs：即carbohydrates，碳水化合物

15.doze off：打瞌睡，打盹

16.cadio [kɑ?（r）di??] n. 有氧運動

17.ruse [ru?z] n. 計謀；詭計

18.needle [?ni?d（?）l] vt. 〈口〉（用話）刺激；嘲弄；惹……發作

19.put stock in：關心，看重

20.barometer [b??r?m?t?（r）] n. 晴雨表，反應或預示變換的事物