成人禮

□作者佚名 尹丹婷譯

成人禮

□作者佚名 尹丹婷譯

突然有這么一刻，所有的事物都變得不同——你不知為何成了另一個人。

多年前的一天，我和我的父母、妻子還有兒子在一家餐館吃飯，這家餐館的菜單是寫在一塊黑板上的。在一頓愉快的晚餐之后，服務生將帳單放在桌子中間。我要說的故事就是從那一刻開始的?我的父親居然沒有伸出手去拿起帳單。

談話還在進行著，最后我醒悟了，原來我才是那個被認為該付帳單的人。在與父母外出就餐成百上千次以后，在我一直認為只有父親才有錢付賬的時候，一切都變了。我伸手拿起帳單時，我的自我意識也隨即起了變化，我是一個成年人了。

很多人用歲月來記載他們的人生,而我卻喜歡用很多小的事件——成長儀式，來記載我自己的。我不是在一個像13歲這樣特定的年齡時意識到自己是個成年人的，而是某一天，一個小孩走進我工作的商店里，叫我先生。他的眼睛直直地盯著我，還反復叫了好幾遍。如同被人當頭一棒似的，我，就這么的突然間成為一位先生了！

還有一些里程碑似的事情。年幼時，警察們在我心中的形象是很高大的，甚至可以說是偉大的，當然他們也是一定比我的年紀大很多的。然而，有一天他們突然比我年輕了?事實上，有些還只是小孩——個頭看上去是這樣的。又有一天我突然意識到我曾經看過的比賽中的足球運動員都比我年輕?他們也還只是大小孩。我曾夢想著自己有一天，或許，也能成為一名足球運動員。但自那天以后，我的夢想破滅了；就像一個登山者，還沒有爬到半山坡，就結束了旅程。

我從未想過我會像父親一樣在電視機前睡著了，而現在，這是我最擅長做的事情。我從未想過我會去海邊而不游泳，然而，我在海邊度過漫長的八月卻一次也沒下海去游過。我從未想過我會喜歡戲劇，但是現在，戲劇演員那悲戚的嗓音和管弦樂隊的完美組合卻吸引著我。我從未想過我會喜歡晚上呆在家里，但是我現在發現自己卻為此寧愿錯過一些聚會。我過去常認為那些愛看鳥的人是很奇怪的，但這個夏天我發現自己居然也在欣賞它們，或許我還會買一本關于鳥的書；我渴望宗教的信仰，這也是我從未想到過的；在我和兒子的爭執中，我重復著父親過去常對我說過的話；我還在失去著一些東西。

一天，我買了一座房子，一天——那是怎樣的一天啊——我成為了一位父親，就在我替父親付帳后不久。那時我認為這是我的一個成人禮。但是有一天，當我年齡又稍大一些后，我才意識到，對于父親來說，這也是一個成人禮，是另一個里程碑。

附：原文

Rites of Passage

Suddenly there come times when everything is different

---you’re somehow another person

Several years ago my parents,my wife,my son,and I ate at one of those restaurants where the menu is written on a blackboard. After a wonderful dinner,the waiter set the bill in the middle of the table.That's when it happened:my father did not reach for the bill.

Conversationcontinued.Finally it dawned on me.I was supposed to pick up the bill! After hundreds of restaurant meals with my parents,after a lifetime of thinking of my father as the one who had the money,it had all changed.I reached for the check,and my view of myself was suddenly altered.I was an adult.

Somepeople mark off their lives in years;I measure mine in small events--in rites of passage.I did not become a young man at a particular age,like 13,but rather when a kid walked into the store where I worked and called me''mister.''He repeated it several times,looking straight at me.The realization hit like a punch:Me!I was suddenly a mister.

Therehave been other milestones.The cops of my youth always seemed big,even huge, and of course they were older than I was. Then one day they were suddenly neither.In fact,some were kids--short kids at that. The day came when I suddenly realized that all the football players in the game I was watching were younger than I was.They were just big kids.With that milestone went the dream that someday,maybe,I too could be a football player.Without ever having reached the hill,I was over it.

Inever thought that I would fall asleep in front of the television set as my father did. Now it's what I do best.I never thought that I would go to the beach and not swim.Yet I spent all of August at the seaside and never once went into the ocean.I never thought that I would like opera,but now the sadness and combination of voice and orchestra appeal to me.I never thought that I would prefer to stay home evenings,but now I find myself passing up parties.I used to think that people who watched birds were strange,but this summer I found myself watching them,and maybe I'll get a book on the subject.I long for a religious conviction that I never thought I'd want,and in arguments with my son,I repeat what my father used to say to me.I still lose.

One day I bought a house.One day--what a day!--I became a father,and not too long after that I picked up the bill for my own father.I thought then it was a rite of passage for me.But one day,when I was a little older, I realized it was one for him too.Another milestone.