浙江省新高考英語寫作題型之概要寫作介紹及范例點評

陳科芳

《普通高等學校招生全國統一考試英語科考試說明（高考綜合改革試驗省份試用）（第一版）》已經公布。作為試點單位，浙江省對2016年10月份開始的新高考英語科目考試題型作了重大調整，其中英語寫作分為兩部分，共40分：第一部分為應用文寫作（15分），第二部分為讀后續寫或概要寫作（25分），兩種形式在不同考次不定期交替使用。對于應用文寫作，廣大師生相對熟悉，但是讀后續寫或概要寫作是一種新題型，之前考試中考生并未接觸過。為方便廣大師生盡早熟悉這種題型，適應相關變化，本刊特設學生習作點評欄目。上一期我們已經分析了讀后續寫題型，這期分析概要寫作題型，學生習作選自杭州某高中。題型介紹

概要寫作題型的基本要求為：

提供一篇350詞以內的短文，要求考生基于該短文寫出一篇60詞左右的內容概要。（所選材料體裁沒有限制，以說明文、議論文和記敘文為主）評分原則

1.本題總分為25分，按5個檔次給分。

2.評分時，先根據所寫概要的內容和語言初步確定其所屬檔次，然后以該檔次的要求來衡量、確定或調整檔次，最后給分。

3.詞數少于40和多于80的，從總分中減去2分。

4.評分時，應主要從以下四個方面考慮：

（1 ）對原文要點的理解和呈現情況；

（2）應用語法結構和詞匯的準確性；

（3）上下文的連貫性；

（4）對各要點表達的獨立性情況。

5.拼寫與標點符號是語言準確性的一個重要方面，評分時，應視其對交際的影響程度予以考慮。

6.如書寫較差以致影響交際，可將分數降低一個檔次。各檔次的給分范圍和要求概要寫作樣題

《考試說明》提供了一篇樣題，具體為：

閱讀下面短文，根據其內容寫一篇60詞左右的內容概要。

Getting rid of dirt， in the opinion of most people， is a good thing. However， there is nothing fixed about attitudes to dirt.

In the early 16th century， people thought that dirt on the skin was a means to block out disease， as medical opinion had it that washing off dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in. A particular danger was thought to lie in public baths. By 1538， the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom. So did the king of England in 1546. Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with dirt in a friendly way. Henry IV， King of France， was famously dirty. Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath， the king ordered that， to avoid the attack of disease， the nobleman should not go out.

Though the belief in the merit（好處） of dirt was long-lived， dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18th century. Scientifically speaking， cleaning away dirt is good to health. Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing disease. Yet， it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War II. Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea： clothes need to be whiter than white， cloths ever softer， surfaces to shine. Has the hate for dirt， however， gone too far？

Attitudes to dirt still differ hugely nowadays. Many first-time parents nervously try to warn their children off touching dirt， which might be responsible for the spread of disease. On the contrary， Mary Ruebush， an American immunologist（免疫學家）， encourages children to play in the dirt to build up a strong immune system. And the latter（后者） position is gaining some ground.

《考試說明》還提供了一個針對考試要求的概要樣本（One possible version）：

People have mixed opinions towards dirt on our skin. （要點1）For a long time in history， people of some European countries， such as France， believed that dirt protected people from getting ill.（要點2） However， people began to change their attitudes to dirt about 200 years ago. People have been told that washing dirt off our body can keep us healthy.（要點 3）However， some scientists believe that exposure to some dirt may help our immune system.（要點4）題型分析

概要寫作，簡而言之就是對所讀過的文章簡要概括，寫出文章的中心大意，也可稱之為摘要。這一題型主要考查學生對文章主旨大意的概括和準確獲取關鍵詞的能力，同時考查學生用簡潔的語言概括文章重要信息的能力以及對文章整體結構的把握能力。因此，概要寫作是基于閱讀理解和書面表達的，是二者的有機結合體，是閱讀理解和書面表達的溝通橋梁。

寫概要時考生需要注意，要把文章的具體信息用一些具有概括功能的詞和句表述出來，而不是抄襲文章的原句，更不是把細節性信息作為中心。要通過對文章中的單詞、詞組和句子進行合理轉換，對文章的具體信息進行概括，再用合適的語言表述出來。備考建議

首先，要明確寫作步驟。建議寫作步驟如下：

1.弄清要求。新高考的概要寫作是寫全文概要，不是寫某一部分的概要，或者就某些問題寫出要點。

2.細讀原文。首先要仔細閱讀短文，掌握文章主旨和結構，明確各段的大意。

3.列出原文要點。分析原文的內容和結構，將內容分項扼要表述并注意在結構上的順序。在此基礎上選出與文章主題密切相關的部分。并把這些要點用適當的連接詞進行連接，使上下句之間具有連貫性。

4.列出關鍵詞匯。關鍵詞對于整篇文章的理解與轉化成自己的語言都很關鍵，如果不能準確領會其用意，語篇理解的效果就會大打折扣。概要寫作的基礎是理解語篇，而讀懂語篇的基礎是詞匯，尤其是對關鍵詞匯的掌握與運用。在此基礎上，綜合運用語法與句法結構，按照行文邏輯組織語言，形成概要。

其次，要注意以下一些要點：

1.概要應包括原文中的主要事實，略去不必要的細節。

2.安排好篇幅的比例，概要應同原文保持協調，即用較多的文字寫重要內容，用較少的文字寫次要內容。

3.注意要點之間的銜接，要用適當的關聯詞語貫通全文，切忌只簡單地寫出一些互不相干的句子，但也不要每兩句之間都加關聯詞語，以免顯得生硬。應該說《考試說明》提供的樣文中句子之間的連接不夠自然，如此短的篇幅中接連用了兩次“However”，應該避免這種情況。

4.不排斥用原文的某些詞句，但不要照搬原文的句子，如果不能完全用自己的話語表達，至少要對原文句子做一些同義詞替換，若結構上也能有一些轉換，則會更好。

5.注意計算詞數，看是否符合規定的詞數要求。字數在40～80詞為宜，少于40的和多于80的，從總分減去2分。

6.注意檢查是否有拼寫錯誤，標點符號是否規范，書寫是否整潔，這些情況都是評分的考慮范圍。

再次，要注重平時訓練，不能靠臨時抱佛腳，而是要功在平時。以下做法供參考：

1.積累常見的同義短語和句型轉換，掌握并運用單詞、短語和句型，學會詞匯、短語、句型的升級。“巧婦難為無米之炊”，即使有再好的寫作技巧，如果沒有相應的基礎詞匯和句法知識，也很難寫出上乘的概要寫作作文。因此，考生要在基礎詞匯和句法知識上下功夫，以不變應萬變。

2.精選浙江省往年高考優秀的說明文閱讀文章，并進行結構分析和主旨概括訓練。

3.訓練篇章結構的布局，增強文章的上下文連貫性。

4.進行適度的專題練習。有計劃地進行適度練習有利于考生快速掌握概要寫作的要點，找到概要寫作的感覺，沖破對概要寫作的不適感。平時可多關注往年的高考閱讀文章，進行結構分析和主旨概括訓練。可按文體和題材，分類訓練篇章結構的布局，增強對文章上下文連貫性的把握。概要寫作首先要掌握各種文體的寫作特點和框架。如：

（1）記敘文：what / who / when / where/ why / how

（2）議論文：opinion / idea + argument（supporting ideas / reasons）

（3）說明文：phenomenon / problem + reason + solution （cause and effect）， introduction of an object （how it is made， how it is used， how it may change， what makes it new or significant）

綜合以上分析可知，新高考更加重視考查考生高中階段英語基本技能的掌握情況，也注意考查考生進入高等學校繼續學習的潛能，目標是利用高考命題的導向功能推動新課程的課堂教學改革，概要寫作題型的設置就是基于這個出發點。應該說我們考生對概要寫作并不完全陌生，因為其實在日常的英語教學中，教師經常讓學生就所學英語課文逐段概括段落大意或者復述課文，這在一定程度上都為概要寫作打下了基礎。考生如果理解準確，涵蓋全部要求，完全使用自己的語言，準確使用相應的語法結構和詞匯，得分相應就會比較高。相反，如果概要寫作部分出現兩句以上整句抄自原文的現象，得分檔次將會大大降低；所寫內容與所提供內容無關將不得分。學生習作分析

1. 題目要求

閱讀下面短文，根據其內容寫一篇60詞左右的內容概要。

“Technology is connecting us in ways never before in human history. How will that change our societies， our relationships， ourselves？”

Thats the question that interests Michael Wesch. The last time communication technology had such a wide ranging impact was 500 years ago with the invention of the printing press. Being able to print texts instead of writing them by hand transformed the world. It changed the way people could communicate with each other. Suddenly， many copies of books could be made quickly and easily. As more books became available， so ideas spread much more rapidly. But what will be the impact of digital technology， which is the most powerful connecting tool we have ever seen？

Michael Wesch argues that communication is fundamental to our relationships and so it follows that a change in the way we communicate will change those relationships. Wesch explores digital commination in his work. In particular， Wesch and his students look at social networking and other interactive Internet tools. A well-known example of such an application is YouTube. When people create and share personal videos on YouTube， anyone anywhere can watch it. Wesch says that this leads to some people feeling a sort of deep connection with the entire world. But its not a real relationship—its not the same connection as you feel with a member of your family. In fact， its a relationship without any real responsibility which you can turn off at any moment.

Wesch isnt interested in what new media was originally designed for but in how it can be used in other ways. For example， he describes how people organize social protests such as gathering signatures for online petition（請愿）via Facebook. He says that he tries to make sure his students end up in control of technology， not vice versa. Wesch believes its crucial for people to be able to operate in the new environment of digital media and to use it for the greatest possible impact. He also believes that technology can help us see relationships and global connections in positive ways.

Now， we are connected by using digital technology which has a deep influence in our daily life. For example， social networking and Internet tools like YouTube change our relationships from a real one to a one without any responsibility. Researchers want people to control the technology， instead of being controlled， and use it in positive new ways.

2. 學生習作學生習作1 Nowadays， technology greatly influences our daily life， just like printing once sped up the spread of ideas. Michael Wesch has been working on it for a long time. In his discovery， online communicate can have a wide connection to others， but is fragile too. He wishes people to use technology properly to improve our lifes， not being the slaves of them. （61 words）

【點評1】 這篇學生概要習作，總的來說理解還是比較準確的，大部分要點也涵蓋到了。句子也未見明顯抄襲現象。其授課教師打了21分，也就是第五檔（下）。但我們認為這個分數偏高了，理由如下：（1）雖然說其語法錯誤不影響理解，但有幾處比較明顯，比如：“Nowadays， technology greatly influences our daily life”，最好改為“Today， technology has a significant influence on our daily lives”；“online communicate can have a wide connection to others”，應該改為“online communication can have a wide connection to others”，這里很可能是學生粗心大意，但體現為語法錯誤；另外，“improve our lifes”應該改為“improve our lives”。（2）邏輯聯系不夠明顯，句子內部雖然用了一些連接詞，但句子之間基本上沒有用連接詞來表明邏輯關系。若能適當添加個別連接詞語，會更具有表達力，如：“Therefore， he wishes people to use technology properly ....”（3）語義指代不夠明確。由于第一句中用了籠統的“technology”，而不是“communication technology”，這樣就造成了后面一句中的“it”指代不夠明確。另外，“He wishes people to use technology properly to improve our lifes”這一句中，“people”跟“our”也存在語義不搭，建議改為“their”。綜上，該學生習作分數區間在第四檔（下）比較合適，也就是16～18分區間。學生習作2

Michael Wesch wonders how communications will be in the future because technology now plays a great role in humans life， which is similar to the influence of the printing press invented 500 years ago. He says that communicating on Internet isnt a real relationship and it will change our connections. He also argues that human shouldnt be controlled by technology， which is supposed to benefit humans connection. （68 words）

【點評2】

這篇學生習作，其授課老師打了20分，我們認為這個分數有點偏低了。一起來分析一下：首先，理解準確，涵蓋了全部要點。其次，準確使用語法結構和詞匯，寫作中幾乎沒有語法問題。再次，完全使用自己語言，所完成的概要語言流暢，結構緊湊。當然，該學生沒有嘗試用比較難的生詞或句子結構。所以，我們認為可以打到第五檔（下），即21～23分區間。學生習作3

Technology is comprehensively changing the world， especially the ways of commutations which are fundamental to our relationship. Hundreds years ago， the invention of the printing press made it possible to spread ideas quickly and easily. Currently， social networking and other interactive Internet tools are widely accepted. People can feel much more about the world， although its not a real relationship. And it is believed that new media will lead the world to a positive way. （74 words）

【點評3】

對該生習作，其授課老師給了23分（其中包括1分卷面分），我們總體贊同。明顯可以看出，該學生的整體語言水平較高，對原文的理解也比較準確。通過“Hundreds years ago”和“Currently”的比照，達到了較好的信息與語義關聯。唯一的不足是，原文中的主人公“Michael Wesch”及其作為一個研究者的身份被完全忽略了。如果能在最后點明，“And it is believed by researchers like Michael Wesch that...”或許更好些。學生習作4

Never has something altered the way people connect so entirely as 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology have done. Michael Wesch is convinced that social networking has an enormous effect on social relationships but doubtful that those relationships are just unreal and swallow. He also puts an emphasis on individuals control over the technology and advocates that were supposed to take advantage of it both to the fullest and in positive brand-new ways.

【點評4】

雖然說這篇習作有一些語言錯誤，但我們還是傾向于打到第五檔（下），即21～23分區間，因為這些錯誤基本上是由于嘗試比較復雜的句式結構和比較高級的詞匯而造成的。開篇就用了一個倒裝的強調句型，比較正確的句子應該是：“Never has anything else altered the way people connect so entirely to each other as the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology have done.”或改進為“Nothing else has so profoundly altered the connection among people more/better than the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology.”或者索性改成比較自然的說法，如“Apart from the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology， nothing else has exerted a greater impact on the way people communicate with one another.” 第二句中的“but doubtful”應該改為“but is doubtful”，同一句中的“swallow”應該是“shallow”的誤用，說明詞匯的掌握還不夠精準。除了這幾個基本上是由于嘗試復雜結構造成的語言問題外，應該說其他條件都是符合第五檔的。學生習作5

Digital technology is the strongest connecting tool up to now， the affect of which interests Michael Wesch. In his opinion， digital technology will change peoples relationships. Itll strengthen peoples connection with the whole world though the relationship is without any real responsibility. He also believes that now media has a great possibility and ways to use it are beyond imagination. Itll have a positive impact， too.

【點評5】

這同樣是一篇容易得高分的學生習作。理解準確，要點齊全，語法結構比較正確，語言表達總體流暢自然，句子顯然是原創。上下文之間的承接比較順理成章，雖然沒有用太多的連接詞語。略顯不足的是，最后一句話分量有些不足。可以打在第五檔，也就是21～25分區間。