開眼窗外事

By+Sam+Anderson

窗口向來是一個隱喻，橫亙在外界和內部之間，是阻隔，也是貫通，區分著“內”與“外”。正如我們常說的，眼睛是心靈之窗，我們的所知便是通過從窗口來窺視外面的世界而得到的。在這個意義上，“開明”一詞頗有意思，只有敞開窗戶，才能明明白白，而不至于被自己固有的觀念所蒙蔽，才能透過外在的表象，看到內在的本質。

Our windows keep shrinking. Our vision narrows and narrows. Mine roams， for much of each day， in a space roughly the size of a playing card： the rectangle of my phones screen.1 The view through that piece of glass is not out onto the actual world but inward， down a digital depth over which I exercise near-dictatorial2 control. If I want to see a bird on my phone， I see a bird. If I want to see a manatee captioned by a motivational slogan，3 I see that. This means， of course， that my phone is not really a window at all. A real window is something that frames our fundamental lack of control.4

Windows are， in this sense， a powerful existential tool： a patch of the world， arbitrarily framed，5 from which we are physically isolated. The only thing you can do is look. You have no influence over what you will see. Your brain is forced to make drama out of whatever happens to appear. Boring things become strange. A blob of mist balances on top of a mountain； leafless trees contort themselves in slow-motion interpretive dance； heavy raindrops make the puddles boil.6 These things are a tiny taste of the bigness of the world. They were there before you looked； they will be there after you go. None of it depends on you.

Sometimes what you see can be astonishing. One day， I was taking a nap in the red chair in my office when I woke up to the sound of a car crash. I sat up and looked， immediately， out my window. Across the street， in a parking lot， a car had just backed into a chain-link fence7. The car must have been moving fast， because it was in bad shape： Its hood had popped up， its windshield wipers were snapping back and forth under a perfectly clear sky and part of its bumper was sitting on the ground.8 The fence was mangled9， bent out in exactly the shape of the cars back end.

I couldnt believe I was seeing this， on an otherwise ordinary weekday morning， out of my office window. I watched the driver get out of the car. He was stocky with a shaved head； he wore cargo shorts and a flannel shirt unbuttoned to expose his chest hair.10 I disliked him immediately. After a few seconds of assessing the damage， he walked around the car and opened the passenger door—from which a very small child scrambled out11. A toddler12 in the front seat！ My disdain for this man increased exponentially.13

As the child ran around the parking lot， the man tried to repair the damage he caused. He attempted to tug14 the ruined fence back into place， but it wouldnt move. He tried to shove15 the fallen piece of bumper back onto his car， but that only made the rest of his bumper fall off too.

I sat in my red chair， looking out my window， silently cheering.

The man tried， a little harder， to fix the fence. He grabbed its support pole， which was wickedly bent，16 and pulled against it with his full weight. The pole suddenly broke， and the man fell hard onto the blacktop17. The entire fence fell on top of him， and one of his sandals18 flew off and landed 10 feet away on the sidewalk.

I think I laughed out loud. This was a slapstick19 masterpiece. It was brightening my whole day， the failure of this terrible man. He climbed out from under the collapsed fence and limped20 back to the apartment building above the lot， rubbing his elbow.

That， I thought， would be the end of it. The man—that villainous man—was going to leave all the chaos behind for someone else to clean up.21 It was only the middle of the morning， but I imagined him sprawled out on his sofa with a case of beer， eating horrible snacks， while his child played with fire and broken glass and battery acid near a malfunctioning electrical socket.22

But this is the power of windows： They contradict23 your easy assumptions. They scribble24 over your mental cartoons with the heavy red pen of reality. The man emerged a few minutes later with some tools. He got to work immediately， detaching one of the fences bent support bars and hammering it straight on the asphalt.25 For the next hour， I watched out my window as he doggedly fixed the fence， straightening and reattaching its support bars， scrupulously unbending its bent chainlink.26 He even improved it. He stole a support bar from another fence farther back in the parking lot and added it to this one. Now the fence would be extra secure， stronger than before， impervious27 to damage.

This odious28 man was actually a hero. I was the lazy one， with my kneejerk judgments and distant clichés， my superiority from three stories up.29 My window had taken a break， that day， from its usual programming—crows and squirrels roaming over a dead tree， cars piling up at a stoplight—to put on a little passion play for me， an allegory about the nobility of the human spirit.30 My ugly assumptions， I realized， were all about myself. I would never have fixed that fence； I would have panicked31 and run away. My window had woken me up from a nap to teach me a lesson in humility32.

The incident changed my entire day. I went back to my shallow screens with new determination. Years later， I still look out my window at that fence almost every day. It still looks brand new. It makes me wonder what else that man has improved， and how I can make myself more like him.

我們的窗口不斷縮小。我們的視野愈發狹窄。而我的視野終日都在約摸一張紙牌大小的范圍內游離：也就是我手機的屏幕。透過這塊玻璃，視野不是向外朝著真實世界，而是向內深入到一個數碼世界，在那里我有著近乎獨裁的控制權。如果我想在手機上看見一只鳥，我就能看到一只鳥。如果我想看到一只被標上勵志口號的海牛，我就能看到。當然，這就意味著我的手機根本不是窗口。一扇真正的窗恰恰應該是對我們本質上難以掌控外界的表達。

從這個意義上來講，窗口是一個強大的存在主義工具：一處任意劃定的所在，在實際上把我們與外界隔離開來。你唯一能做的，就是看著，你對你將看到的東西沒有任何影響力。你被迫去“腦補”那些恰好發生的事情。無趣之事變得新奇。一片薄霧在山頂盤桓；落光葉子的樹緩慢扭動著形意舞；沉重的雨點讓一個個的小水洼沸騰。這些東西都是大千世界的微觀體驗，在你看到之前就存在，在你走后繼續存在。一切都不依附著你而存在。

有時你的親眼所見會讓人驚奇。一天，我在辦公室的一張紅椅子上小憩，當我聽到撞車的動靜時便醒了過來。我坐起來，馬上朝窗外看去。在馬路對面的一個停車場里，一輛車剛好倒車撞進了鐵絲網里。那輛車一定是開得很快，因為撞得蠻厲害：引擎蓋都彈開了，雨刷在一個大晴天里來回晃著，啪啪作響，保險杠的一端已經掉在了地上。圍欄受損，剛好被撞出了一個車尾形狀。

眼前所見讓我難以置信，在一個本來好端端的工作日上午，我辦公室窗外竟然發生了這樣的事情。我盯著司機下了車。他身板結實，剃了個光頭；穿了條工裝短褲，法蘭絨襯衫沒系扣子，露出胸毛。我立馬對他感到厭惡。他花了幾秒查看破損，然后繞過車身打開了副駕駛的門——從里面爬出一個非常小的孩子。居然讓這么小的孩子坐在前排座位！我對他的厭惡之情無以復加。

就當孩子在停車場上亂跑時，這男人試著去修補他造成的破壞。他試圖用蠻力將受損的圍欄復原，卻掰不動圍欄。他又想把掉下來的那部分保險杠給硬推回去，但這一推反而讓整個保險杠都掉下來了。

我坐在我的紅椅子上，看著窗外，心中暗喜。

那個男人又試了一次，更賣力地想搞定圍欄。他抓住那根被撞得不嚴重彎曲的支柱，用盡全力地想去掰直。誰知支柱忽然斷裂，那人重重地摔在瀝青路上。整個圍欄都倒在了他身上，他的一只涼鞋飛了出去，落在10英尺開外的人行道上。

我覺得自己當時笑出了聲。真是出鬧劇般的杰作。這個糟糕男人的失敗，讓我的一整天都熠熠生輝。他從倒下的圍欄下面爬出來，一瘸一拐地走回了停車場邊上的公寓樓，邊走邊揉著手肘。

我那時就想，這事該結了。那個男的——可惡之至——肯定是想一走了之，把個爛攤子留給別人收拾。那會兒還是上午的九十點左右，但我尋思他會呈大字躺在沙發上，喝著罐啤酒，吃著垃圾零食，而他的孩子在壞掉的電插頭旁邊，把火、碎玻璃和蓄電池酸液當玩具。

但窗口的力量出現了：來否定你想當然的假設，用現實粗重的紅筆在你腦海的卡通畫上涂抹打叉。幾分鐘后，那個男的帶著工具出現了。他立即開始干活，把一根撞彎的支柱從圍欄上拆下來，放在瀝青路上用錘子砸直了。在隨后的一小時里，我看著窗外，他在那兒頑強地修補著圍欄，把支柱一根根地敲直后再裝回去，小心翼翼地掰直被撞彎的鐵絲網。他甚至還加固了圍欄，從停車場遠處的另一處圍欄那里偷偷挪來了一根支柱，用到了這邊。現在，這處圍欄應該比之前更結實牢固，固若金湯。

這可惡的男人竟是條漢子。我才是懶惰者，裝的都是下意識的妄斷，事不關己的陳腔濫調，高高掛起的優越感。那天，我的窗口從司空 見慣的程序設置中開了小差——從枯樹上跑來跑去的烏鴉松鼠，信號燈前排起的車隊變成了為我上演的那一小出“受難記”，亦是崇高人文精神的一則隱喻。我意識到，我不堪的假設實際上都是自己內心的投射。我才不會去修補那圍欄呢，我只會驚慌失措，然后逃之夭夭。我的窗口把我從小憩中喚醒，給我上了一節謙遜之課。

這個小事故改變了我的一天。我帶著新的決心回到了自己膚淺的手機屏幕上。多年之后，幾乎每天我仍會望向窗外，看看那圍欄。它看起來還是嶄新的。我不禁會去想那個男人還做了什么好事，而我怎么才能讓自己更像他。

1. roam： 漫游，漫步；rectangle： 長方形，矩形。

2. dictatorial： 獨裁的，專斷的。

3. manatee： 海牛；caption： 加上說明，加上標題；motivational slogan： 激勵口號。

4. frame： 表達，構建；fundamental： 基本的，根本的。

5. existential： 存在主義的，有關存在的；patch： 小片；arbitrarily： 任意地，武斷地。

6. blob： 一團，無固定形狀的東西；contort： 扭曲；interpretive dance： 形意舞，現代舞的一種，是以動作或戲劇性表現寓情的舞蹈；puddle：水坑，小水洼。

7. chain-link fence： 鐵絲網圍欄。

8. hood： 引擎蓋；windshield： 擋風玻璃；wiper： 雨刷器；snap： 劈啪地響；back and forth： 反復地，來回土；bumper： （汽車）保險杠，緩沖器。

9. mangle： 使嚴重損壞。

10. stocky： 矮胖的，結實的；cargo shorts：工裝短褲；flannel： 法蘭絨。

11. scramble out： 爬出來。

12. toddler： 學步的小孩。

13. disdain： 鄙視，不屑；exponentially： 迅速增長地，迅猛發展地。

14. tug： 用力拉。

15. shove： 擠，猛推。

16. support pole： 支柱；wickedly： 非常，極其。

17. blacktop： 柏油路。

18. sandal： 涼鞋，拖鞋。

19. slapstick： 鬧劇。

20. limp： 一拐一拐地走，緩慢費力地前進。

21. villainous： 惡棍似的，壞透的；chaos：混亂。

22. sprawl out： 四肢全伸開懶洋洋地躺（坐）著；malfunctioning： 出故障的；electrical socket： 電源插座。

23. contradict： 否定，反駁。

24. scribble： 任意涂寫。

25. detach： 拆卸，使分開；asphalt： 瀝青路。

26. doggedly： 頑強地，堅持不懈地；scrupulously： 一絲不茍地，小心翼翼地。

27. impervious： 不易損壞的，不受影響的。

28. odious： 可憎的，討厭的。

29. knee-jerk： 下意識的，自動反應的；clichés： 陳詞濫調，老生常談；superiority： 優越感；story：（建筑物的）層。

30. passion： 常作the Passion，耶穌受難（故事），耶穌受難復活記；allegory： 寓言；nobility： 崇高。

31. panic： 驚慌失措，過去式為panicked。

32. humility： 謙卑，謙遜。