早戀這件小事

By+Aaron+Anthony+Vessup

Two long black pigtails with pink ribbons on the sides of her face，2 to me Penny Thompson was pretty. This boldly talkative prettiness could not be ignored.3 Perhaps her wordiness colored the mysterious allure for my attraction to her.4 I also admired her for taking the lone bicycle ride to my house weekly for a visit. We were only first-graders. However， another beauty， Diane Cleaver， with cherubic face and welcoming smiles made her attraction more magnetic and compelling.5 A year earlier when our Kindergarten teacher presumably6 was not looking， we held hands and kissed. Such was our secretive behavior on the playgrounds iron Junglegym， circular spinning merry-go-round，7 or even when lying on the bare carpet during nap-time in class. On days when Diane was the milk or cookie monitor， I could be certain to also gain her favor： extra sips from one of the few small waxy milk cartons with a plastic straw， or secretly munch extra honey flavored graham crackers.8 By the time we were to become first-graders， we had exchanged solemn9 promises to marry and live happily ever after. Pennys visits， separated by our fence and pad-locked10 gate， did not give these dreams a chance. Yet， in matters of budding romance， the innocence of youth provides courage of boundless resolve.11

Being enrolled in Elementary school proper， and no longer seen as “babies” tied to our mothers apron strings，12 brought more changes. Perhaps the Kindergarten teacher had reported my romantic behaviors to certain over-protective parents. Diane had not been enrolled in my Elementary school. Instead she attended private Catholic13 school. Although we lived on the same street， any boy was lucky to catch a quick glimpse of her outside once or twice a month. Her home was inside a brick fenced yard， and she was closely guarded. This love soon faded， and it was not because of Pennys visits. My mother kept a sharp eye on us while listening through the open kitchen window. Romantic actions were stalled despite the allure of Penny Thompsons golden bronze skin， smart pert mouth and clever words.14 Adult eagle eyes and ears made sure that us kids did not get away with any creative romantic “ideas”. My mother earlier had pronounced that I was indeed a “natural wolf”.

One thing， however， all parents and teachers failed to do. Their efforts could not keep me from dreaming about Camilia Gipson. She was the angelic15 girl whom I saw every day in class. This started in the second grade up until the sixth grade graduation day. Light brown freckles were sprinkled across the bridge of her nose.16 Her easy laugh and voice were music to my ears. A shy look or smile from her sent my heart racing beating triple time. Over the next few years I had countless dreams of soaring17 in the air with Camilia. Holding her close to me as her light brown hair gently waved in the silent balmy breezes that caressed us together.18 Gazing to my hearts content into her lovely hazel colored eyes， I fantasized whispering love sonnets into her ears.19 Ours was magical love ordained20 by the heavens. In my dreams we wore stately crowns upon our heads and ruled earthly subjects.21

Camilia was chosen Health Monitor for our fourth grade class. Daily she checked our teeth and gums to verify hygiene efforts.22 I made sure to brush my teeth before going to school. Valentines Day became special because I received at least two or more secret cards bearing red hearts with Cupids arrows.23 One of these cards， confessed to be from my “Secret Admirer” clearly were written by her hands. There was no room for doubt in my mind concerning the origin. Camilia was left-handed. As general class monitor and teachers “helper”， I routinely24 collected student assignments and knew her writing style. Now， if any of my male classmates professed25 the slightest feelings of attraction to my love object， they were in danger of my furious fists. At the very least they could expect a face slap to adjust their attitudes and attention. One day， Roger Goings， a close friend and member of the same Cub Scout Club26 with me， made a terrible mistake. We walked to school together some mornings. Our mothers were even friends as official Cub Scout Club Mothers. My friend Roger declared attraction to and affections for Camilia. The result was a termination27 of our friendship. Even our mothers stopped talking to each other. My days in the Cub Scout club organization were numbered28. For me， Roger ceased to exist. However， Camilia and I occasionally passed notes to one another during class periods. I walked her home from school twice when she was not staying late for band practice. She allowed me to carry her books or violin case. These actions were symbolic of devotion and togetherness.

Dreams of our eternal connectedness were unceremoniously interrupted after a new event.29 The handsome identical twin brothers， Alvin and Calvin， came to our school. Now we were all fifth graders. These boys were light-skinned， long dark curly30 haired types. Each was well-groomed， with even white teeth， daily clean starched shirts and sharp creased pants.31 Above all， they were wellbehaved， soft-spoken with super polite manners. It was difficult to identify which boy was Calvin or Alvin. They looked exactly the same. All of the young girls swooned and cooed in their presence or at mere mention of their names.32 Soon the grapevine33 had it that Sandra Harris， the cute girl in our class who had appeared in a television series， had been matched to one of the twins. Shortly， thereafter， Camilia was said to be coupled with the other twin. These matches were made by group consensus34. In those days girls had the right to choose whomever they would like. I knew better than to go against the opinionated grain.35 I was not as handsome as these new twin brothers. My front tooth had been grossly chipped giving my smiles a defect.36 Despite my daily routine tooth brushing， my smiles were ragged， revealing a jagged tooth that even appeared threatening to myself.37 How could Camilia really like me？

I decided to aim for higher mature game in the race for romance acknowledged by my peers. The new teacher， Miss Gilliam was now my goal. Who needed Camilia or the fickle-minds of a rumor mill？38 Camilia was just a kid. On the other hand， Miss Gilliam was a greater prize. Not only was she fresh to our school， but she was older mature， and very attractive. Her golden complexion， bright pink glossy lips， and shoulder length dark springy hair that bounced as she walked，39 was like seeing a living magazine or movie. This and shapely dancers legs made her a jewel to both males and females of all ages.40 How could we not love her？ There could be no better way to make Camilia jealous. Most of the young girls adored Miss Gilliam， and seemed to bow in her presence. The older female teachers visibly clinched41 their teeth， and narrowed their eyes when she came near.

Miss Gilliam was the uncontested beauty queen in our world. Even us young boys freely admitted fantasizing about her. There were many shared confessions between us about how we wanted to be alone with this new teacher. These revelations also caused verbal squabbles and fights.42 I made it clear that she belonged to me and no one else. Of course Miss Gilliam had no idea about any of this. I had to make it known to her that I， a 12 year old， was her new protector and future suitor43. This quest became my new challenge. Thoughts and dreams of Camilia no longer greeted me nightly. The expected unsigned Valentines Day card from her had not been received that year. Rumors must be true.

Circumstances of proximity were to intervene in my budding romance challenge.44 Our family moved to a new city far away from the Los Angeles southern suburbs. After a few short years in Junior and Senior High School， I was to discover Diane Cleavers appearance in Playboy Magazines February issue.45 Apparently， the safe prison her parents constructed did not prevent their daughter from following other wolf calls. By this time， however， I had long shut away dreams of Penny， Diane， Camilia， and even Miss Gilliam. A dreadful thing happened that jarred my head from these romantic illusions.46 It was an accident on a park playground before our family had moved. The sounds from the emergency ambulance were unforgettable. The schools favorite teacher， was holding my bleeding head in her lap. Pain and empathy47 spread over her beautiful worry creased face. I had intentionally tried to get Miss Gilliams attention， and accidentally split my head open as I slipped on the Jungle Gym parallel bars.48 Even this teachers sympathetic smiles of assurance could not diminish one clear truth： my brash attempts to cement affection were actually a weakness.49 It was then I realized just how foolish the business of puppy love， and attempting simple feats for attraction， could lead to my own undoing if unchecked.50 It was smarter to tell someone directly that you liked them than to hurt yourself trying to simply show affection.

1. puppy love： 少男少女間短暫的愛情，早年初戀。

2. pigtail： 馬尾辮；ribbon： 絲帶。

3 . boldly： 大膽地；talkative： 愛閑聊的。

4. wordiness： 話多；allure： 吸引力。

5. cherubic： 小天使般的，天真無邪的；magnetic： 有吸引力的，有魅力的；compelling： 有強烈吸引力的。

6. presumably： 可能，大概。

7. iron Jungle-gym： 鐵格子爬梯；circular：圓形的；spinning： 旋轉的；merry-goround： 旋轉木馬。

8. sip： 一小口；waxy： 蠟質的；carton：硬紙盒；straw： 吸管；munch： 大聲咀嚼；graham： 全麥的；cracker： 餅干。

9. solemn： 嚴肅的，鄭重的。

10. pad-locked： 用掛鎖鎖上的。

11. budding romance： 剛剛萌芽的愛情；resolve： n. 決心。

12. enroll： 注冊，入學；proper： 嚴格意義上的；apron string： 圍裙帶。

13. Catholic： 天主教的。

14. stall： 停止，停頓；bronze： 古銅色的；pert： 小巧玲瓏的。

15. angelic： 天使般的。

16. freckle： 雀斑；sprinkle： 星星點點地分布于；bridge of ones nose：鼻梁。

17. soar： 翱翔，高飛。

18. balmy： 溫暖的，宜人的；caress： 愛撫，撫摸。

19. 我盡情地凝視著她可愛的淡褐色眼睛，想象著在她耳邊輕輕吟唱愛情的詩歌。to ones heart content： 心滿意足地，盡情地；hazel： 淺褐色的；sonnet： 十四行詩。

20. ordain： 命令，判定。

21. stately： 莊重的，威嚴的；earthly：塵世的，凡間的。

22. gum： 牙齦；verify： 檢驗，驗證；hygiene： 衛生。

23. bear： 寫有，繪有；Cupids arrow：丘比特之箭，在希臘神話中，被愛神丘比特的箭射中的人會墜入愛河。

24. routinely： 慣常地，例行地。

25. profess： 公開承認。

26. Cub Scout Club： 童子軍俱樂部。

27. termination： 結束，終止。

28. be numbered： （常用被動語態）使為數有限，這里指時日無多。

29. eternal： 永遠的，永恒的； unceremoniously： 唐突地，無禮地。

30. curly： 卷曲的。

31. well-groomed： 穿戴整齊的；even：整齊的；starched：（衣服）上過漿的；creased： 有折痕的，后文出現是另一個意思：有皺紋的。

32. swoon： 心醉神迷，神魂顛倒；coo： 唔（表示驚訝或者高興）。

33. grapevine： 口頭傳播。

34. consensus： 一致同意。

35. know better than： 明白事理而不至于……；go against the grain： 與別人背道而馳；opinionated： 固執己見的，不易說服的。

36. grossly： 非常，極其；chipped： 有豁口的；defect： 缺陷，缺點。

37. ragged： 參差不齊的，這里用來形容因為牙齒不齊而使得笑容不美觀；jagged： 鋸齒狀的。

38. fickle： （心理、感情等）易變的，不堅定的；rumor mill： 流言制造廠，指流言的發源地。

39. complexion： 膚色，面色；glossy：光潔的，光滑的；springy： 有彈性的。

40. shapely： 身材好的，勻稱的；jewel：非常有價值（吸引力）的人。

41. clinch： 咬緊。

42. revelation：（尤指出人意料的）被披露的內情；squabble：（為瑣事）爭吵，口角。

43. suitor： 求婚者。

44. 周圍的環境也開始阻撓我剛剛萌芽的愛情。proximity： 接近，靠近；intervene：干擾，阻撓。

45. Playboy Magazine： 《花花公子》雜志，美國著名的老牌成人雜志；issue： （期刊的）期，號。

46. dreadful： 可怕的；jar： 使碰撞；illusion：幻覺，幻想。

47. empathy： 同情。

48. 由于我故意想要吸引吉麗姆老師的注意，而不小心從鐵格子爬梯的平行杠上滑落下來，摔破了頭。split： 劃破；parallel： 平行的。

49. diminish： 使減少；brash： 自以為是的；cement： 加強，鞏固。

50. feat： 業績，功績；sbs undoing： 某人的失敗，崩潰；unchecked： 未加制止的。