語言與其說是破碎，不如說是飽含深情

繪◎馬豆子

倘若美國常春藤的8所頂級學府全都給你“yes”，這將是怎樣一種體驗？近日，17歲的美國華裔女孩蕭靖彤（Cassandra Hsiao）收到了所有藤校的錄取通知書。除此之外，斯坦福大學、約翰·霍普金斯大學、西北大學等名校也向她伸出了橄欖枝。

在申請大學的作文中，蕭靖彤講述了自己的家庭，一個第一代華人移民家庭，在學習英語的過程中遇到的各種酸甜苦辣。文章描繪了新移民的特性，細節真實、情節感人，打動了八所藤校以及眾多其他名校的錄取官。

In our house, English is not English. Not in the phonetic①sense, like short a is for apple, but rather in the pronunciation②-in our house, snake is snack. Words do not roll off our tongues correctly -yet I, who was pulled out of class to meet with language specialists③, and my mother from Malaysia, who pronounces film as flim,understand each other perfectly.

In our house, there is no difference between cast and cash, people made fun of me for "cashing out demons".I did not realize the glaring④difference between the two Englishes until my teacher corrected my pronunciations of hammock⑤, ladle⑥, and siphon⑦. Classmates laughed because I pronounce accept as except, success as sussess. I was in the Creative Writing conservatory⑧,and yet words failed me when I needed them most.

Suddenly, understanding flower is flour wasn't enough. I rejected the English that had raised me and taught me everything I knew. Everybody else's parents spoke with smart accents of Ph.D.s and university teaching positions. So why couldn't mine?

在我們家，英語不是英語，這不是從語音學意義上來說的（比如a代表apple），而是指發音上的。在我們家，“snake”（蛇）會被讀成“snack”（小吃）。我們無法讓英語單詞正確地脫口而出。我在班里常被揪出來讓語言專家糾正發音。我那來自馬來西亞的媽媽，總是把“film”說成“flim”。但是我們完全能聽得懂對方。

在我們家，“cast”（拋擲）和“cash”（現金）沒有分別，人們常常取笑我說的“cashing out demons”（本應為“casting out demons”，趕鬼）。我一直沒有意識到這兩個英語單詞之間的差異，直到老師糾正了我的hammock、ladle和siphon的發音，才恍然大悟。同學們笑我，因為我將accept（接受）讀成except（除外），將success讀成sussess。盡管我參加了創意寫作，但常常詞不達意。

突然，我明白了，只懂得“flower”和“flour”發音相同是不夠的。我開始逐漸擺脫那些伴隨著我長大的、教會了我一切的英語，既然其他人的父母都能說一口博士、大學教授般的流利英語，為什么我的父母不能呢？

My mother spread her sunbaked hands and said,"This is where I came from," spinning a tale with the English she had taught herself.

When my mother moved from her village to a town in Malaysia, she had to learn a brand new language in middle school: English. In a time when humiliation was encouraged, my mother was defenseless against the cruel words spewing from the teacher, who criticized her paper in front of the class.When she began to cry, the class president stood up and said, "That's enough."

我的母親攤開她那雙飽經日曬的雙手說：“我就是從這兒來的。”接著她用自學的英語講了一個故事。

當我母親還在馬來西亞的時候，她從一個小村莊搬到了城鎮，在讀初中的她不得不學一門全新的語言：英語。當時很多人以羞辱別人為樂，她只能無力地忍受著老師當著全班的面，用殘酷的語言批評她的作文。當她開始哭泣時，班長站起來說“夠了”。

媽媽含著淚說：“要像那個班長一樣。”班長處處護著她，還耐心糾正她的語言。“她為弱者挺身而出，用自己的語言反抗。”

"Be like that class president," my mother said with tears in her eyes. The class president took her under her wing and patiently mended my mother's strands of language. "She stood up for the weak and used her words to fight back."

We were both crying now. My mother asked me to teach her proper English so old white ladies at Target wouldn't laugh at her pronunciation. It has not been easy. There is a measure of guilt when I sew her letters together. Long vowels, double consonants -I am still learning myself. Sometimes I let the brokenness slide to spare her pride but perhaps I have hurt her more to spare mine.

我們母女倆都哭了。母親要我教她正確的英語，這樣Target商場的白人老太太就不會嘲笑她的發音了。這并不容易。當我把她的話拼綴在一起時，會有一種歉疚感。長元音、雙輔音，其實這些我自己也仍在學習。有時，她說得不好，我也裝作不知道，以免挫敗她的自尊心，但這樣反而讓她受到了更多傷害。

隨著媽媽英語詞匯量不斷增加，我的英語也在不斷進步。我在學校期末活動中在3000多人面前朗誦詩歌，還采訪了各界人士、寫舞臺劇，我以此挺身對抗無知，為無家可歸者、難民和弱勢群體發聲。

As my mother's vocabulary began to grow, I mended my own English. Through performing poetry in front of 3000 at my school’s Season Finale event, interviewing people from all walks of life, and writing stories for the stage, I stand against ignorance and become a voice for the homeless, the refugees, the ignored.

With my words I fight against jeers pelted at an old Asian street performer on a New York subway. My mother's eyes are reflected in underprivileged ESL children who have so many stories to tell but do not know how. I fill them with words as they take needle and thread to make a tapestry.

In our house, there is beauty in the way we speak to each other. In our house, language is not broken but rather bursting with emotion. We have built a house out of words. There are friendly snakes in the cupboard and snacks in the tank. It is a crooked house. It is a little messy. But this is where we have made our home.

我用自己的語言回擊那些嘲笑紐約地鐵里賣藝的亞裔老人的聲音。從那些弱勢的、母語非英語的孩子們身上，我仿佛看見了自己的母親。他們有很多故事要講，卻不知道如何去講。我教他們說英語，同時，他們能夠自己穿針引線把故事編織出來。

在我的家里，家人之間說話的方式自有其美好之處。在我的家里，我們的語言與其說是“破碎的”，不如說是滿溢著感情。我們用自己的語言搭建起一座房子。在這座房子里，壁櫥里有不傷人的“snake”，水池里卻有“snack”。這個家有些另類，有些亂，但正因如此，這才是我們的家。

① phonetic 英 [f?'net?k] 美 [f?'n?t?k]

adj. 語音的，語音學的；音形一致的；發音有細微區別的② pronunciation 英 [pr?,n?ns?'e??(?)n]

美 [pr?,n?ns?'e??n] n. 發音；讀法

③ specialist 英 ['spe?(?)l?st] 美 ['sp???l?st]

n. 專家；專門醫師adj. 專家的；專業的

④ glaring 英 ['gle?r??] 美 ['ɡl?r??]

adj. 耀眼的；瞪視的；炯炯的

⑤ hammock 英 ['h?m?k] 美 ['h?m?k]

n. 吊床；吊鋪；吊帶vt. 睡吊床

⑥ ladle 英 ['le?d(?)l] 美 ['ledl]

vt. 不分對象予以贈送；以勺舀取n. 鋼水包；勺子；長柄勺⑦ siphon 英 ['sa?f(?)n] 美 ['sa?fn]

n. 虹吸管vi. 通過虹吸管vt. 用虹吸管吸出；抽取

⑧ conservatory 英 [k?n's??v?t(?)r?] 美 [k?n's?v?t?ri]n. 溫室；音樂學校adj. 有保存力的；保存性的