第三個孩子

By Orson Scott Card

“My name is Graff， Ender. Colonel（陸軍上校）Hyrum Graff. Im director of primary training at Battle School in the Belt. Ive come to invite you to enter the school.”

……

“Ender，” Graff said， “If you come with me， you wont be back here for a long time. There arent any vacations from Battle School. No visitors， either. A full course of training lasts until youre sixteen years old—you get your first leave， under certain circumstances， when youre twelve. Believe me， Ender， people change in six years， in ten years. Your sister Valentine will be a woman when you see her again， if you come with me. Youll be strangers. Youll still love her， Ender， but you wont know her. You see Im not pretending its easy.”

“Mom and Daddy？”

“I know you， Ender. Ive been watching the monitor disks for some time. You wont miss your mother and father， not much， not for long. And they wont miss you long， either.”

Tears came to Enders eyes， in spite of himself. He turned his face away， but would not reach up to wipe them.

“They do love you， Ender. But you have to understand what your life has cost them. They were born religious， you know. Your father was baptized（洗禮）with the name John Paul Wieczorek. Catholic（天主教的）. The seventh of nine children.”

Nine children. That was unthinkable（不可想象的）. Criminal.

“Yes， well， people do strange things for religion. You know the sanctions（處罰）， Ender—they were not as harsh as then， but still not easy. Only the first two children had a free education. Taxes steadily rose with each new child. Your father turned sixteen and invoked（援用）the Noncomplying（不服從）Families Act to separate himself from his family. He changed his name， renounced（宣布放棄）his religion， and vowed never to have more than the allotted（分配的）two children. He meant it. All the shame and persecution（迫害）he went through as a child—he vowed no child of his would go through it. Do you understand？”

“He didnt want me.”

“Well， no one wants a Third anymore. You cant expect them to be glad. But your father and mother are a special case. They both renounced their religions—your mother was a Mormon（摩門教徒）—but in fact their feelings are still ambiguous（模糊不清的）. Do you know what ambiguous means？”

“They feel both ways.”

“Theyre ashamed of having come from noncompliant families. They conceal it. To the degree that your mother refuses to admit to anyone that she was born in Utah（美國猶他州）， lest（唯恐）they suspect. Your father denies his Polish ancestry（波蘭血統(tǒng)）， since Poland is still a noncompliant nation， and under international sanction because of it. So， you see， having a Third， even under the governments direct instructions， undoes everything theyve been trying to do.”

“I know that.”

“But its more complicated than that. Your father still named you with legitimate（正當(dāng)?shù)模﹕aints names. In fact， he baptized all three of you himself as soon as he got you home after you were born. And your mother objected. They quarreled over it each time， not because she didnt want you baptized， but because she didnt want you baptized Catholic. They havent really given up their religion. They look at you and see you as a badge（印記）of pride， because they were able to circumvent（規(guī)避）the law and have a Third. But youre also a badge of cowardice（膽小）， because they dare not go further and practice the noncompliance they still feel is right. And youre a badge of public shame， because at every step you interfere with their efforts at assimilation（同化）into normal complying society.”

“How can you know all this？”

“We monitored your brother and sister， Ender. Youd be amazed at how sensitive the instruments are. We were connected directly to your brain. We heard all that you heard， whether you were listening carefully or not. Whether you understood or not. We understand.”

“So my parents love me and dont love me？”

“They love you. The question is whether they want you here. Your presence in this house is a constant disruption（擾亂）. A source of tension. Do you understand？”

“Im not the one who causes tension.”

“Not anything you do， Ender. Your life itself. Your brother hates you because you are living proof that he wasnt good enough. Your parents resent you because of all the past they are trying to evade（逃避）.”

“Valentine loves me.”

“With all her heart. Completely， unstintingly（無限地）， shes devoted to you， and you adore her. I told you it wouldnt be easy.”

“What is it like， there？”

“Hard work. Studies， just like school here， except we put you into mathematics and computers much more heavily. Military history. Strategy and tactics. And above all， the Battle Room.”

“Whats that？”

“War games. All the boys are organized into armies. Day after day， in zero gravity， there are mock（模擬的）battles. Nobody gets hurt， but winning and losing matter. Everybody starts as a common soldier， taking orders. Older boys are your officers， and its their duty to train you and command you in battle. More than that I cant tell you. Its like playing buggers（蟲族）and astronauts—except that you have weapons that work， and fellow soldiers fighting beside you， and your whole future and the future of the human race depends on how well you learn， how well you fight. Its a hard life， and you wont have a normal childhood. Of course， with your mind， and as Third to boot（另外）， you wouldnt have a particularly normal childhood anyway.”

“All boys？”

“A few girls. They dont often pass the tests to get in. Too many centuries of evolution（演變）are working against them. None of them will be like Valentine， anyway. But therell be brothers there， Ender.”

“Like Peter？”

“Peter wasnt accepted， Ender， for the very reasons that you hate him.”

“I dont hate him. Im just—”

“Afraid of him. Well， Peter isnt all bad， you know. He was the best wed seen in a long time. We asked your parents to choose a daughter next—they would have anyway—hoping that Valentine would be Peter， but milder. She was too mild. And so we requisitioned（要求）you.”

“To be half Peter and half Valentine.”

“If things worked out right.”

“Am I？”

“As far as we can tell. Our tests are very good， Ender. But they dont tell us everything. In fact， when it comes down to it， they hardly tell us anything. But theyre better than nothing.” Graff leaned over and took Enders hands in his. “Ender Wiggin， if it were just a matter of choosing the best and happiest future for you， Id tell you to stay home. Stay here， grow up， be happy. There are worse things than being a Third， worse things than a big brother who cant make up his mind whether to be a human being or a jackal（豺）. Battle School is one of those worse things. But we need you. The buggers may seem like a game to you now， Ender， but they damn near wiped us out last time. They had us cold， outnumbered（從數(shù)量上超過）and outweaponed（從武器上超過）. The only thing that saved us was that we had the most brilliant military commander we ever found. Call it fate， call it God， call it damnfool luck， we had Mazer Rackham.

“But we dont have him now， Ender. Weve scraped together everything mankind could produce， a fleet that makes the one they sent against us last time seem like a bunch of kids playing in a swimming pool. We have some new weapons， too. But it might not be enough， even so. Because in the eighty years since the last war， theyve had as much time to prepare as we have. We need the best we can get， and we need them fast. Maybe youre not going to work out for us， and maybe you are. Maybe youll break down under the pressure， maybe itll ruin your life， maybe youll hate me for coming here to your house today. But if theres a chance that because youre with the fleet， mankind might survive and the buggers might leave us alone forever—then Im going to ask you to do it. To come with me.”

Ender had trouble focusing on Colonel Graff. The man looked far away and very small， as if Ender could pick him up with tweezers（鑷子）and drop him in a pocket. To leave everything here， and go to a place that was very hard， with no Valentine， no Mom and Dad.

And then he thought of the films of the buggers that everyone had to see at least once a year. The Scathing（損傷）of China. The Battle of the Belt. Death and suffering and terror. And Mazer Rackham and his brilliant maneuvers（軍事演習(xí)）， destroying an enemy fleet twice his size and twice his firepower， using the little human ships that seemed so frail（脆弱的）and weak. Like children fighting with grown-ups. And we won.

“Im afraid，” said Ender quietly. “But Ill go with you.”

“Tell me again，” said Graff.

“Its what I was born for， isnt it？ If I dont go， why am I alive？”

“Not good enough，” said Graff.

“I dont want to go，” said Ender， “but I will.”

Graff nodded. “You can change your mind. Up until the time you get in my car with me， you can change your mind. After that， you stay at the pleasure of the International Fleet. Do you understand that？”

Ender nodded.

“All right. Lets tell them.”