Friendship via Vegetables

By Xin Shangxie

After dinner, an old lady neighbor of ours, brought us a red salmon freshly caught by her son that weighed two kilograms.I thanked her for the fish, and she thanked my in-laws for sharing with her the vegetables they grew in our backyard.

I have to say that the vegetable garden planted by my in-laws in the backyard is magical in building friendships with most of our neighbors.

The 86-year-old lady and her 89-year-old husband live to the right of my house.They are the second and third generation ethnic Chinese who have a son and a daughter.Their son’s wife is a native Canadian, and their daughter’s husband is ethnic Asian.None of them speak Chinese.The first time we met, the old man told us, “We are Chinese, but we don’t speak Chinese.” They are completely Westernized.They had been polite to us, but there was no further friendship between us, until my in-laws began to plant vegetables.

One year, in early summer, we started to share our harvests with our neighbors.When I first brought the old lady vegetables, she was very happy to receive them.She enthusiastically said a lot of words in English to express her gratitude, but I could only respond by grinning, giggling and nodding.This friendship built via vegetables started inadvertently that day.Not long after, they gaveus a salmon in return.

During the first few years after we started growing vegetables, it was my job to deliver them to the elderly neighbors regularly.Later, when my children grew up, it became their job.Now, as our two families got closer, my parents-in-law, who do not speak good Mandarin, are actually able to pass the fresh cucumbers, green beans, summer squash, and lettuce over the fence, in spite of the language barrier.The old lady also often brings us fish caught by her son.This year, we have received three fish from her.

Sharing vegetables has been an effective method for us to build friendship with our ethnic Chinese neighbors with a shared fence.At first, they were quite cold to us, and even sometimes cut the tree branches stretching into their backyard from ours.

The vegetable garden broke the ice, though.Maybe it was because my in-laws’ gardening skills impressed them, or because my in-laws would greet them from across the fence every day.I was surprised to find the neighbor’s wife chatting with my in-laws more and more frequently.They often exchanged planting experience and gifts through the fence.Our vegetables grow well, so we give them vegetables, and the lady brings us snacks.During the summer vacation, they went out to travel for a week.Before leaving, they even asked my inlaws to water their vegetables every day.

Our vegetables not only tour around the neighborhood, but also have become the standard gifts for our guests.Every guest to our house leaves with a bag of vegetables.Even friends who haven’t visited us for a few years ask about how our vegetables are growing when we catch up.

(FromBeijing Evening News, October 12, 2018.Translation: Chen Jiani)

蔬菜外交

文/辛上邪

晚飯后，鄰居老奶奶送來她兒子剛釣的紅肉三文魚，足足有兩公斤重。我倆反復互謝，我謝謝她送魚，她謝謝我公婆送他們蔬菜。不得不說，公婆在后院開辟的菜園子真成了“外交法寶”，將我們和大多數鄰居的關系提升到一個嶄新的高度。

鄰居老奶奶86歲，和89歲的老爺爺住在我家右邊的房子里。老爺爺是第三代華裔，老奶奶是第二代華裔。他們兒女成雙，兒子娶了加拿大本地人，女兒嫁了亞裔，都不說中文。第一次見面時，老爺爺就跟我們說過：“我們是華人，但不懂中文。”他們已經完全本地化，和我們見面客客氣氣卻沒有進一步的交誼，直到公婆開始種菜。

那年初夏，我們開始送菜給鄰居。第一次給老奶奶送菜時，老奶奶很高興地收下了菜，熱情洋溢地說了一堆英語感謝，搞得我只能咧嘴傻笑點頭。不承想蔬菜外交就這樣不經意間開啟了。沒過多久，我們收到他們家回贈的三文魚。

頭幾年，按時給高齡的鄰居送菜是我的任務。后來孩子漸大，便由孩子承擔起送菜的事兒。現在，隨著兩家交流增多，連普通話都不會說的公婆竟能隔著籬笆，在彼此語言完全不通的情況下，順利地把新摘的黃瓜、豆角、西葫蘆、生菜等遞過去。老奶奶也經常送來她兒子釣的魚，今年我們就吃了三條。

蔬菜外交在我們后院鄰居的身上起到了最突出的效果。后院鄰居也是華裔，最初對我們很冷淡，還把從我家伸過去的樹枝都“咔嚓”掉。

破冰也是從種菜開始的。也許是公婆的專業程度打動了他們，或者是由于每天隔著籬笆相遇時公婆會主動問好，漸漸地，竟然看到他家太太在和公婆聊天。她們常隔著籬笆交流種植經驗、互贈禮物，我們這邊蔬菜收成好，送菜給他們，他家太太送小點心過來。暑假外出旅游一周，他們還拜托公婆每天去幫他家澆菜。

我們的蔬菜不僅在大多數鄰居家、小區內旅行，還成了標準手信——凡是來家里做客的，離開時都會拎著一袋子蔬菜走，以至于幾年前來過的朋友，再聯系時都還會問我家的蔬菜長勢如何。

（摘自《北京晚報》2018年10月12日）