A Naughty Husband Makes a Good Marriage

By Ruan Danqing

On the day my father Huang Zongjiang passed away, a journalist asked me if I had any particular memories about my dad to share.I couldn’t recall anything striking—for everything I knew was simple and plain.Later, I toldBeijing Dailythat my father was a “cool” man.He could be jokingly described as impractical, and many of his old friends would agree.

Still, Dad wouldn’t accept such a comment.I once asked him why all his exes chose to leave him until my mother turned up.He replied, “At first, some girls admired me just for my talent.Later, they found out my eccentricities and figured that I couldn’t be the Mr.Right for them.” Girls showed little confidence in marrying him because of his unreliable nature.Even when my mother was ready to be his wife, many friends and relatives objected—some more vocally than others.An old friend of my mom even invited her to meet at Beijing Sun Yat-sen Park in order to warn her of my dad’s unreliable nature and attempted to intervene in their relationship.Dad was very angry about it.

By writing his love letter of more than ten thousand words, Dad finally won my mom’s heart.Half a year later, she married him, though she didn’t know much about him.A few decades later, Mom suffered a heart attack and went to the hospital.When she was awake, she kept asking me, “How is your dad’s TV script? Did he get any sponsorships?” She was a lifelong believer of whatever my dad told her.

Did he do anything for my mom? Sure—but I cannot remember any examples.Mom was always the first reader of Dad’s work.One day, shortly after I came back home, Dad complained, “I am mad at your mom, really mad.I cannot even talk to her.” It turned out that Mom was not happy with Dad’s new writing and voiced her criticisms.

In Dad’s mind, my mom ranked second to his work.He would often feel desperate when he was at his wit’s end—as if in the madhouse.He didn’t lose his temper, but he would affect the whole family —we would all be in the same mood until he came up with some good ideas and became happy again.

Dad preferred to make Western style breakfast for us.He would get up early to make coffee, using powder ground from coffee beans and a bubbling coffee pot, complete with bread, jam, and butter.When everything was done, the entire house filled with the aroma of fresh coffee, and he would proudly wait for us to get up.This was the only housework he would do, and unfortunately he seldom did it.

During our stay in the United States in 1988, we went to the Central Park in New York to watch Shakespeare’s plays.The performance stage was under some towering trees.The rain just stopped as the evening drew in.Mom was feeling a bit cold because she was thinly dressed.Dad and I held her on either side.What a happy moment it was! Green trees, a lovely stage, Shakespeare, and the beloved family—it all formed a picture that I will cherish all my life, though I was not sure if they still remembered that day.

Was my mom bamboozled into marriage by all these words and deeds? When I was turning 40, I happened to read the 10,000-word love letter in the drawer.Nobody seemed willing to spend their time studying the letter because it was all a piece of scribbles.I laughed as I read it, and finally I was moved to tears.If anyone had sent me such a letter as this, I would have married him immediately.I really admired Mom’s courage to marry a man that was inferior to her.At that time, she could easily have become the wife of some highranking official, for she was of the highest caliber.Dad had no house, no car, no official position, with the salary only one quarter of Mom’s—except for his talent and good looks.

An old friend of Mom’s once said, “Your mom was beside herself with love.What was wrong with her? Was she enchanted by your dad?” Apparently, Mom was equally “cool.”

I once asked her, “What made you marry Dad?” To which she replied, “Because his fondness for your two stepsisters was so amazing.” (Mom was divorced and had two daughters before marrying Dad.) Actually, there could be much more unexplainable even by herself.The following event could be cited as an example.One day, Dad took Mom out to dinner, but finally he realized he didn’t have enough cash to pay the bill, so he had to ask Mom for help.Mom said that he looked so lovable at that moment.Anyway, I was so envious of my mother.How many wives these days can stay happy with just the sweet talks of their husbands for a whole lifetime?

(FromArt Life in Huang’s, SDX Joint Publishing Company.Translation: Wang Wen)

忽悠一輩子

文/阮丹青

老爸黃宗江去世那天，一個記者問我，有什么關于爸爸的回憶特別讓我銘記在心？特感動的，我想不起來。一切都是點點滴滴。后來我對《北京日報》記者說，我爸很酷。也可以用“不靠譜”這個詞，很多爸爸的老朋友會認同。

但我爸大概是不會承認的。我問過他，為什么碰到我媽之前的戀愛記錄，都是女人離他而去？他說：“人家先是挺崇拜我的，才華呀，什么的。然后發現根本搞不清我到底要干什么，不能托付終身。”太不靠譜，女人都不敢嫁給他。連我媽要嫁給老爸時，親朋好友都有不少反對之聲。一個老朋友還把我媽叫到北京的中山公園，告訴她，我爸是多么不靠譜，嫁不得。對此，我爸一直耿耿于懷。

老爸用“萬言書”向老媽發起進攻，老媽對他幾乎是一無所知，半年后就嫁給他。幾十年后，老媽最后一次心臟病發作住院，清醒的時候，還是問：“你爸寫的那個電視劇本，找到投資了嗎？”被他忽悠了一輩子。

老爸究竟為她做過什么？我想不起來。老爸的作品，總是要先讓老媽看。記得有一次，我剛進家門，老爸對我說：“我跟你媽生氣呢，真的生氣呢。我不跟她說話。”原來，老媽不喜歡老爸剛寫完的那個劇本，提出了批評意見。

老媽在老爸心目中，永遠不是第一位。老爸最關心的永遠是他的作品。寫不出來的時候，就是一副痛苦不堪的模樣。這種時候，他并不發脾氣，我們全家都跟他一起陷入一種緊張的狀態中，直到他寫出來為止。

老爸最喜歡為我們做的事，大概是做西式早餐。他會很早起床，煮咖啡。是咖啡豆磨的粉，用專門煮咖啡的壺，咕嘟咕嘟冒泡的。還要有面包、果醬、黃油。他把一切弄好，滿屋都是咖啡的香氣，然后得意揚揚地等我們起床。這是他唯一會做的“家務”，也不常做。

1988年，老爸和老媽在美國住了一年。我們一起去紐約中央公園看莎士比亞話劇。舞臺就搭在公園的參天大樹下。黃昏后，剛剛下過雨，老媽衣服單薄，有點冷。我和老爸一左一右摟住老媽。綠蔭，舞臺，莎士比亞，還有最愛的人。那是我終生難忘的幸福時光，不知道他們兩個是否記得。

憑這些就能忽悠我媽一輩子嗎？我快四十歲時，才看到我爸寫給我媽的“萬言書”。那封信一直放在抽屜里，好像大家都懶得看，我爸那筆賴字，太有挑戰性。我一邊看，一邊笑，看到最后，感動得哭了。要是誰給我寫這么一封信，我也會嫁給他啦。我很佩服，老媽有勇氣下嫁。那時候，老媽想當個首長夫人不難，她也是首長級別的，老爸沒房、沒車、沒官職，工資只是老媽工資的四分之一，就是有點兒才華，長得不錯。

媽媽的一個老戰友說：“你媽就是被你爸迷住了，失去了理智。”看來，老媽也很酷。

我問過老媽：“你為什么決定就嫁給老爸呢？”老媽說：“他真心地喜歡你兩個姐姐。”還有的她都說不清楚。比如，我爸帶我媽出去約會，吃完飯，才發現沒帶夠錢，只好向我媽求援。我媽說，他的樣子可愛極了。反正，我非常羨慕老媽。世界上有多少女人能被她們的丈夫自始至終忽悠一輩子呢？

（摘自《賣藝黃家》三聯書店）