?Making friends in challenging times

By Judy/崔海燕（譯）

◆語篇導讀

友誼淡如清水，醇如美酒，香如秋菊。沒有朋友，世界只是荒野一片。若要想獲得真正的朋友，我們就必須懂得交友之道。那么，如何能在逆境中結交到好朋友呢？

It can be difficult to make friends living in a big city,especially when you don't know many people.Over years of experience and studying social skills,I discovered that it's possible to make friends even without trying.There are just a few strategies that you have to use on aconsistentbasis.Those are what I'll outline a few simple steps.

1.Be seen without trying to get attention

You don't have to say anythingwittyor interesting to get people's attention,all you have to do is to place yourself in environments where people will see you.This can be done anywhere you go,such as in the supermarket or yoga studio.

2.Use the power of listening

There's an interesting wonder that occurs.When you listen to other people,they'll keep talking.Just keep giving them the good eye contact and show with your body language that you care.Listening is amechanismto build trust andlikeability.

3.Think about what you can give to the other people

So often we think about what we can get out of others when we try to make friends,but that thinking needs to beflippedaround.Try offering a piece of helpful advice or inviting someone you just met tograbcoffee or lunch with you the following week.

4.Always have three good stories to tell other people

When you have at least a few stories to share with others,you'll never run out of things to talk about.

5.Smile like there's no tomorrow

It may not be natural for some of us to smile,but smile is one of the most attractive things.So you can display it when you're meeting new people.

(2)尾砂和礦泥的物理力學性質。尾砂和礦泥物理力學性質指標差別不大，其中尾砂的孔隙比和滲透系數隨著深度增加而減小，而相對密度逐漸增大，其他參數隨著深度的變化不明顯。礦泥的塑性指數較小，可塑性差，這與礦泥組成顆粒以非粘土礦物為主有關，礦泥液性指數一般在0.71～1.04之間，為可塑至流塑狀態。

Think about these five strategies as tools.They're always available if you want to connect with people immediately and develop true and lasting friendships.

◆詞語積淀

consistent/k?n?s?st?nt/adj.連續的

witty/?w?ti/adj.機智的；言辭詼諧的

mechanism/?mek?n?z?m/n.方法

likability/?la?k??b?l?t?/n.好感度

flip/fl?p/v.輕拋；按（開關）

grab/gr?b/v.攫取；抓住

1.There's an interesting wonder that occurs.When you listen to other people,they’ll keep talking.有一個有趣的現象，當你傾聽別人時，他們會一直（跟你）聊天。

這是一個復合句。句中的that occurs是限制性定語從句，作wonder的定語；when引導的是時間狀語從句，主句如果用的是一般將來時，從句要用一般現在時表將來。

【即時嘗試】這是我讀過的一本最有趣的故事書。

2.Try offering a piece of helpful advice or inviting someone you just met to grab coffee or lunch with you the following week.試著提供一個有用的建議或邀請你剛才遇到的人喝杯咖啡或者邀請他在接下來的一周和你共進午餐。

句中的 try doing sth.表示“試著干某事；嘗試做某事”，表示“努力做某事”時，要用try to do sth.形式；句子you just met是someone的限制性定語從句，關系代詞that或者who（m）被省略了；the following week是固定詞組，意為“接下來的一周”。

【即時嘗試】為什么不試著騎車去學校呢？

（答案見第63頁）

譯文助讀

生活在一個大城市里是很難交到朋友的，尤其是當你還不認識很多人的時候。根據我多年的經驗以及對社交技能的研究，我發現其實你甚至能毫不費力地交到朋友。有一些是你必須堅持使用的策略，在這里我將簡單列出幾個方法。

1.不刻意也能獲得他人的注意

你不必說詼諧或有趣的事情來吸引人們的注意，你所要做的只是將你自己置身于人們能注意到的環境里。這方法你去的任何地方都能奏效，比如超市或瑜伽館。

2.利用傾聽的力量

有一個有趣的現象，當你傾聽別人時，他們會一直（跟你）聊天。只要和他們保持良好的眼神接觸，并用你的身體語言顯示出你對他們的關心。傾聽是一種建立信任和好感的途徑。

3.想想你能帶給別人什么

當我們試圖交朋友的時候，經常會考慮我們能從別人那里得到什么，但是我們需要轉變這種想法。試著提供一個有用的建議或邀請你剛才遇到的人喝杯咖啡或者邀請他在接下來的一周和你共進午餐。

4.總是有3個好故事能講給別人聽

當你至少有幾個故事能與他人分享時，你將永遠有談不盡的話題。

5.盡情微笑

對有些人來說，微笑可能是件不自然的事情，但微笑卻是最有吸引力的事情之一。所以當你結識新人時，你可以展示你的微笑。

我們可以把這5種策略作為（結交朋友的）手段。如果你想與他人立即建立關系，發展成真正長久的友誼時，這些方法總會有用的。