英語應用文寫作——啟事

趙伐

【寫作任務】

假定你是李華，是某國際學校的音樂俱樂部（Music Club）負責人。為了提升同學們的音樂欣賞水平并擴大俱樂部的影響力，該俱樂部決定招納新成員，請你用英語寫一則納新啟事，內容包括：（1）納新時間和地點;（2）對新成員的要求;（3）俱樂部的活動。

【學生原文】

Members Wanted

Members are wanted for Music Club⑴. Those interested can sign up at the Club office before this Friday.

Basic requirements for member⑵are enthusiasm in music⑶ and capacity of playing at least one kind of instrument. Once you become part of us， you’ll be able to participate in a wide range of activities ranging from⑷enjoying various music every Thursday to sharing your?favorite songs with other club members every Friday.

Every⑸student qualified is welcome to join us！

Music Club

【趙教授批改】

（1）Members are wanted改為New members are wanted。但這種寫法，以及后面的Those interested can sign up... 讀起來顯得比較impersonal，不夠親切。用被動式就會產生這種效果。另外，be wanted讓人聯想到“緝拿”（英語國家通緝罪犯的布告就用這個表達）;建議改為New members are welcome to our Music Club！

（2）Basic requirements for member are改為Basic requirements for successful candidates include. 因為member指已經是成員了，而successful candidates指即將成功地作為成員。

（3）requirement指a quality or qualification that one must have in order to be allowed to do something or to be suitable for something（做某事或適合做某事的必備條件，包括品質、素質、資格、能力等），但enthusiasm是指情感，不是品質或能力。這句話可以改為Basic requirements for successful candidates include the capacity of playing at least one kind of music instruments， plus enthusiasm in music.

（4）這句話用了兩個range，屬于贅述（redundancy），改為participate in activities ranging from... 或participate in a wide range of activities from… to...;另外，various music改為various music works/pieces.

（5）every的意思是“所有人（沒有例外）”（each and all of the members of a group considered singly and without exception），語氣有強迫之嫌，改為Anyone qualified is welcome to join us.

【總結】

這則啟事寫得不錯，清楚明了，幾個要點都寫到了。存在的問題主要在語言上，如用詞須更準確、避免贅述等。