本篇文章描述了日本學生在校的日常學習生活,語言簡潔,邏輯清晰。同學們在閱讀時可重點關注文中一般現在時時態的運用,同時也可思考并對比中國學生在校的日常生活。
Japanese students usually walk to school and they wear caps, hats or helmets. In some schools they also wear uniforms. In many schools, students start lessons at 8:30 a.m. and they finish at 3:50 p.m.They do subjects like Japanese,maths,history and English.They do lots of homework,too.
Students have lunch at school.They usually eat in their classroom.Some students carry the food to the classroom from the kitchen. Students don’t only eat Japanese food, they also eat things like spaghetti or meatballs. After lunch, students always brush their teeth. Then they clean their classroom!
What do Japanese students do after school? Well, there are many after-school activities.Some students play sports or a musical instrument.Others learn a new language or go to art or science clubs.One student from Tokyo likes the karaoke club at her school.“We sing songs and have fun there,”she says.
helmetn.頭盔 uniformn.校服;制服 spaghettin.意大利細面條
meatballn.肉丸 activityn.活動 instrumentn.器具;器械
karaoke club 卡拉OK俱樂部
1.Fill in the blanks with the words and phrases in the passage.
2. According to the passage, what are the similarities(相似處) and differences between your school and schools in Japan?
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同學們,進入初中以來,你已經熟悉新的學校了嗎?習慣初中的學習和生活了嗎?假如你是Li Hua,要給在美國的筆友Tom 寫信,介紹你進入中學以來的生活,分享你的感想。你在信中介紹的內容應至少包含思維導圖中的3 個要點,可適當發揮。
原文呈現
Dear Tom,
Thanks for your letter. I want to tell you something about my school life. Our school looks beautiful, and it is a big school with three tall classroom buildings. There’re lots of classrooms in these buildings and our classroom is on the ground floor. Also, there is an art room for us to draw.
“Our school looks...”要另起一段,使文章層次更清晰。
學校設施部分的描寫不夠完整。
Many of our teachers are friendly. I make lots of friends in my school,and they’re all kind to me.
句式可以多樣化,可嘗試使用because, so, but 等連詞,使文章更緊湊、自然。
I often play basketball after school. I like reading and I usually go to the Reading Club to read books there on Friday.
All in all,my school life is very meaningful.
Yours,
教師、學生和活動的介紹還可以增加細節描寫,使語言更生動,更富有情感,以體現自己對學校生活的熱愛。
信的結尾部分可以增加How about you? How is your school life?等句子表明對筆友的學校生活很感興趣,體現與筆友的互動,突出書信體裁的語言特點。
Li Hua
升格展示
Dear Tom,
Thanks for your letter.I want to tell you something about my school life.
Our school looks beautiful, and it is a big school with many tall classroom buildings.There’re many kinds of classrooms in these buildings and our classroom is on the ground floor. It’s clean and bright because we do the cleaning every day. I like the art room best.When we draw pictures in it,time seems to go faster.Also,we have a school hall.Sometimes we have meetings or watch shows there.
What’s more, many of our teachers are friendly,and they often help us with our studies.I make lots of friends in my school,and they’re all kind to me,so I always feel warm when I’m with them.
I think school activities can make my life more colorful. I get so much from different activities. I like reading, so I usually go to the Reading Club to read books there on Friday afternoon. I am interested in playing basketball, too. I often practice with my friends after school.
All in all, my school life is very meaningful. My school is my second home. I love it very much.How about you?How is your school life?
Yours,
Li Hua
(江蘇省靖江市實驗學校張燁孜)
綜合點評
本文為書信體裁,語言表達符合書信體裁的寫作要求。小作者使用的時態為一般現在時,結構清晰合理。第二、三、四段的開頭均使用過渡句引領各段內容,要點明確。全文使用豐富的過渡詞或短語來連接觀點,使得文章更緊湊、自然。
升格作文中增加了細節描寫,表達感想的語句情感更豐富,句式更多樣,字里行間表達了小作者對校園生活與學習的熱愛。
(江蘇省泰州市第二中學附屬初中劉鎏)