Charlie’s Raven (Excerpt VII)《查理的渡鴉》（節選七）

瓊·克雷格黑德·喬治/文　吳文安/譯析

Every dawn for the next week Blue Sky would announce the sunrise by “gro， gro-ing” for food. Charlie would slide out of bed， dress， and take the young raven to breakfast on his shoulder. The two would enter Granddad’s house for what had become an elaborate morning ritual—Blue Sky and Granddad exchanging greetings.

隨后一周的每天清晨，藍天都會在日出時分“咕嚕，咕嚕?！备呗暯兄缘?。查理都會溜下床，穿上衣服，把小渡鴉放在肩頭帶他去吃早餐。他們一人一鳥進入爺爺的大屋，來一遍已經習以為常的繁復晨禮——藍天和爺爺互致問候。

On one of these sunrises Singing Bird knocked on Charlie’s door to go fishing. Knowing that the breakfast visit with Granddad would hold up the expedition， Charlie fed Blue Sky in his cabin， put him on his shoulder， and took him along.

有一天日出時分，歌唱鳥敲響了查理的門，邀請他去釣魚。查理知道，如果去爺爺那里吃早飯就會耽誤行程，于是在自己的小木屋里喂了藍天，然后把他放在肩頭，帶他一起去釣魚。

They didn’t get very far. Blue Sky sulked， put his head low， and drooped his wings. When they had gotten as far as the nest box of the smallest American Falcon—the kestrel—attached to Granddad’s telephone pole， Singing Bird became alarmed.

他們走了沒多遠，藍天就悶悶不樂，垂著頭，耷拉著翅膀。等他們走到美國最小的隼類——紅隼——的巢箱那里，歌唱鳥警覺起來。那個巢箱掛在爺爺的電話線桿子上。

“Do you think he’s sick？” she asked.

“你覺得藍天是不是病了？”歌唱鳥問。

“I think he’s mad，” Charlie said. “I didn’t let him go through the greeting ritual of bumping heads with Granddad.”

“我認為他生氣了。”查理說。“剛才，我沒有讓他跟爺爺進行互致問候的碰頭晨禮?！?/p>

“Could that be？” Singing Bird asked. “Are you saying ravens are like my dad？ They have to do everything according to ritual？”

“有這種可能嗎？”歌唱鳥問道。“你是說渡鴉跟我爸爸很像？他們的一切行為都要按照既定程序去做？”

“Looks like it，” Charlie said. “Let’s go home and find out. We can fish later.”

“看來是這樣的。”查理說?！白屛覀兓丶因炞C一下。之后再去釣魚。”

They turned around and went back to the ranch house. As Charlie stepped inside， Blue Sky jumped from his shoulder to the floor and fluttered to the trash basket. He knocked it over with a wing smack. He scattered the papers across the living room floor， shredded an envel-ope， and tore up a piece of mail before Charlie could stop him. When he finally caught him in both hands， Blue Sky yelled and squawked all the way to the cabin. Charlie closed the door so Blue Sky couldn’t leave and returned to help Singing Bird clean up the mess before Grandma Sally came in from weeding her little “hope” garden. “Hope” that the lettuce would not be killed by a summer frost before they could eat it.

他們轉身回到農場大屋。查理一踏進屋里，藍天就從他肩膀跳到地上，撲扇著翅膀沖向垃圾筐。藍天用翅膀一下子打翻了筐子，弄得客廳里滿地都是廢紙，又撕碎了一個信封，弄爛了一封信，查理這才攔住了他。查理好不容易用雙手把藍天抓住，送到小木屋去，一路上藍天還在高聲尖叫。查理關上小木屋的門，不讓藍天跑出來，然后回屋去幫著歌唱鳥收拾爛攤子。奶奶莎莉回來前必須收拾好。奶奶正在她小小的“希望”花園里除草呢。奶奶除草，是“希望”在夏天的霜凍破壞之前大家能吃上萵苣。

Granddad， who had watched Blue Sky’s destructive performance， was grinning and sitting up straight in his chair. His lean face looked younger.

爺爺呢，一直在旁邊看著藍天搞破壞，咧著嘴笑，端端正正地在椅子上坐著。他瘦削的臉看上去年輕了些。

“He’s mad at you， Charlie，” he said.

“他生你的氣了，查理。”爺爺說。

“Why？ I’m his mother！”

“為什么？我是他媽媽！”

“You changed his routine.”

“你改變了他的日常習慣?！?/p>

The next morning Blue Sky awoke Charlie with his soft love sounds， and Charlie， acting as if nothing had gone wrong yesterday， took him to breakfast at Granddad’s. He was going to restore Blue Sky’s routine. If Blue Sky was good， Charlie would know that changing his routine turned him into a bad bird. Then he pondered. “But he let me know about it and that’s good.” He rubbed his chin in confusion.

第二天早上，藍天又用他充滿愛意的聲音把查理叫醒，然后查理裝作昨天一切如常，又帶他去爺爺那里吃早餐。查理要恢復藍天的日常習慣。如果藍天很乖，查理就會知道，改變日常習慣會讓藍天變成一只壞鳥。然后查理又想，“但是他讓我知道這一點，還是好事?！辈槔聿恢氲厝嗔巳嘞掳?。

【背景知識】這一選段介紹了渡鴉的一種習性，即恪守日常習慣。選段描述了小渡鴉因為日常習慣被打亂，先是鬧脾氣，后來亂扔垃圾，撕毀信件，高聲尖叫等有趣的行為。傳播生態知識是生態文學的功能之一。這里作者用生動有趣的場景活靈活現地把知識具象化了。

【第一段】這里有象聲詞“gro， gro-ing”，第二個詞語不容易再現，譯者使用了疊字法“咕嚕，咕嚕?！?，希望能有所體現。the two很簡潔，譯文補充為“他們一人一鳥”。如果直譯為“他們倆”不太清楚，而“兩個人”“兩只鳥”更為不妥。

【第二段】藍天和爺爺每天早上吃飯前的見面晨禮比較復雜，包括用聲音問候，互相碰頭等等，需要耗費不少時間。因此，查理在小木屋里直接喂了藍天，想節省時間，趕緊去釣魚。

【第三段】這一段中的第三句里有一個插入成分“attached to Granddad’s telephone pole”。插入語是翻譯當中經常要考慮的難點之一，這是一個英漢語的句法對比問題。因為在英文句子里，語法邏輯很重要，借助語法邏輯，插入語在英文句子中并不顯得突兀，也不會造成明顯的不連貫。然而中文句子一般不用插入成分，否則會顯得不夠連貫。所以譯文把插入成分提取出來，放到后面。一般把這種翻譯方法稱為“外位法”。

【第四段】這一段中的幾個地方，譯文都進行了具體化處理。比如greeting ritual（互致問候的晨禮）、according to ritual（按照既定程序）、find out（驗證一下），目的是讓譯文更加明確易懂。

【第五段】這一段的重點是連續動作。譯文當力求再現原文生動的動作描寫，不要打斷語流。最后一句，譯文添加了“奶奶除草”，以便更好地連接上下文，使之更連貫。

【第六段】這里的短語sitting up straight隱含義是爺爺心如明鏡，早就洞悉了小渡鴉大鬧客廳的緣由，沒有著急，也沒有慌張，所以只是“端端正正地坐在椅子上”，看著小渡鴉“作鬧”和表演?？磥磉€是爺爺知識淵博，懂得鳥兒習性。

【第七段】分句acting as if nothing had gone wrong yesterday直譯將會是“裝作昨天沒有什么做錯了似的”，比較拗口和費解，所以譯文反向翻譯為“查理裝作昨天一切如?！薄Ｄ贻p的查理對渡鴉習性還不太了解，心里在掂量小渡鴉到底是不是“壞鳥”，然后又因喜愛小渡鴉，為他辯護，這才困惑地揉著下巴。這里的心理描寫惟妙惟肖。

【小結】該選段的原文特色是描述生動有趣，翻譯難度不是很大。然而，其中也有一個需要調換句子順序的地方，涉及到英漢句法對比等基礎知識。選段中連續的動作描寫也要注意，譯文不應該破壞其連貫性。再者，選段中有好幾個地方都使用了增譯擴充法，以便讓譯文更明晰具體。